Unfaithful
by AllieLoveFinchel
Summary: "I say I won't be long, just hanging with the girls, a lie I didn't have to tell...because we both know where I'm about to go and we know it very well." FINCHEL AU
1. Postcard from Paris

**This started as a chapter for Where Words Leave Off, but quickly grew...sound familiar? Possibly a short multi-chap, but if you know me, you know even I never know! So I won't make any promises ;)**

**Completely inspired by Rihanna's "Unfaithful" (which I obviously borrowed for the title). Will deal heavily with adultery which I promise I don't take lightly (nor do I support in real life. This is fiction so all bets are off). I had so much fun with Jake/Finn in A Thin Line I made Jake Rachel's husband here...just a heads up. Their dynamic is different in this universe. Finn's happy ending is always promised in my world.**

**As always I own neither Glee nor the characters. I also do not own Rihanna or the song Unfaithful. Opening quote & chapter title from "Postcard from Paris" by The Band Perry.**

* * *

><p>"<em>The meanest thing you ever did is come around<em>

_And now I'm ruined"_

"Tell me again why I have to go to this theater thing?" Noah 'Puck' Puckerman asks as he slides on the jacket of his designer suit.

"It's Broadway douche," his lifelong best friend and agent, Finn Hudson explains. "And it's because you're the hottest free agent in the NFL right now and the Jets want you..._bad_."

"And they think a bunch of losers singing and dancing are gonna make me pick them?" Puck scoffs.

"Broadway's a big deal in New York asshat, they're taking you out to show you all the city has to offer. Besides, they're taking us to Wicked, it's like...a really big deal or something."

"Oh please, do tell me more Finnessa," Puck grins, laughing when Finn rolls his eyes at him and continues adjusting the jacket of his own suit.

"I dunno man, Kurt's talked about it for years. Besides, we're going back stage first for a tour of the theater and to meet the actors. There's all kinds of girls in a musical you know, I'm sure you'll find something to keep you interested in the show," Finn shrugs.

He chuckles to himself when he sees the telling smirk on his friends face, he knows Puck will go along with anything if he thinks there's a possibility he'll get laid out of it. Fortunately for Puck, being the most buzzed about wide reviever in the National Football League pretty much guarantees him his choice of women anywhere he goes. Being the agent of said wide receiver, along with several other big ticket stars makes dating pretty easy for Finn as well. If he's being honest, there were some years in the beginning of their careers that he and Puck really took advantage of that, but Finn's getting older now and that lifestyle's becoming much less appealing to him. He can't even remember the last time he went out and partied with Puck, the whole new woman every night thing has gotten old fast and he's really just ready to find the right one and settle down. Easy has never been that fun for him.

Not that he plans on telling Puck that's the reason though, God knows that kid will probably _never_ settle down. He doesn't expect him to understand...but that's beside the point right now. Right now he's going to forget his love life woes and just concentrate on getting his best friend living in the same city as him again by way of the sweetest contract ever. First up? A free night on the town courtesy of Woody Johnson.

The ride to the theater is full of football talk between the men, everyone laughing and (probably faking) smiles and good moods. Football's more than just a game, it's a business, a _big business_ and Finn's prepared to work out the deal of a lifetime for Puck. The Jets want him but it's Finn's job not to let them know just how bad Puck wants to be a Jet, not yet at least. They've been talking about this since they were boys on the playground and Finn's not going to let this chance pass them by.

When they arrive they're greeted immediately by a pretty blonde girl at the door of the famed Gerswhin Theatre who smiles and introduces herself as Kitty. Finn immediately notes the mischievous twinkle in Puck's eyes as he gives Kitty a once over, chuckling quietly to himself as Puck visibly relaxes and smiles genuinely. Of course he's happy to be here now.

Kitty leads the group through the theatre, giving detailed descriptions and colorful anecdotes all the while handling Puck's unnecessary comments and salacious grins like a pro. Finn can't say that he's too interested, this is something his step-brother Kurt would appreciate much more than him, but this is work so he's doing his best to act engaged in what Kitty's saying (unlike Puck who is showing interest in nothing except Kitty herself).

They run into a few cast members as they make their way through the back halls, a couple flying monkeys and some really snobby guy Kitty introduces as the man who plays Fi...arrow? Pharaoh? He doesn't remember, but apparently he's an important character.

Finn doesn't remember much actually, not until he hears a musical laugh float from down the hall and he finds himself captivated, the warm sound tickles his ears and invites butterflies to break out throughout his belly. He feels himself grinning as he looks up to find the mesmerizing laugh coming from a tiny brunette covered in green body paint. He admittedly doesn't know much about this world, but he knows enough from Kurt to know the green chick is pretty much the star of the show. She's walking with an equally small blonde and they both stop when they notice the group ahead of them talking with Kitty. The big, chocolate eyes of the brunette meet Finn's first, the visible passion and excitement swirling in them making him feel like he's been punched in the gut. She holds his gaze for a moment before smiling and lifting her hands up apologetically, "I can't introduce myself properly, just got painted."

Finn chuckles as she dips her head in embarrassment, clearing his throat before introducing himself, "Totally understandable. Finn Hudson."

"Rachel Berry," she beams, the blinding white of her teeth a stark contrast to the green tone of her skin. "How're you enjoying the tour?"

Finn falters for a second, struggling to decide whether he should tell the adorable green woman in front of him the truth or what he thinks she wants to hear.

"It's okay," she winks. "You can tell me the truth."

"Truthfully," he sighs, "The theatre is impressive, but this is much more up my step-brother's alley than mine."

"It's a shame he's not here then. Impeccable taste such as his should be rewarded."

Finn laughs boisterously at Rachel's teasing, after the stuck up way her jerk co-star acted towards them just moments ago, he's completely taken aback by the care free way in which the star of the show is joking with him right now.

"Berry!" Kitty snaps, making both Rachel and Finn jump and look towards her. "I've been trying to introduce you to the man of the hour. Rachel Berry, this is the Jets hopeful new star wide receiver, Noah Puckerman."

"Puckerman?" She gasps.

"I take it you've heard of me?" Noah smirks, making Finn's stomach turn at the way he eyes her from head to toe.

"Well, no, but my name's Puckerman also," Rachel explains, tightening the robe she has wrapped around her, clearly not enjoying Puck's attention.

"I thought your name's Berry?" Finn blurts out, cheeks pinking at his own eagerness to learn anything about her that she will allow.

"It is," she smiles shyly, looking to the floor again before she continues softly, "it's my professional name. Puckerman is my married name."

"Oh," Finn chokes out, sucking in his bottom lip but trying his damnedest not to show the devastating disappointment boiling in the pit of his stomach at this revelation. She's married...but _of course_ she is.

"You married a Puckerman huh? Smart girl," Puck winks, completely oblivious to Finn's conflicted expression. "What's his name?"

"Jake."

"Jake Puckerman? Never heard of him...and here I thought this was about to actually get interesting. This really is more up Fancy Pants' alley." Puck claps Finn on the shoulder as he continues on down the hall, everyone seemingly continung on with their business except Finn and Rachel.

Finn silently curses his feet and their sudden inability to move, nodding at Rachel politely as he finally manages to lift his right leg reluctantly.

"Fancy pants?"

"What?" Finn laughs, ignoring the relief that washes over him as Rachel gives him a reason to hang around her a little bit longer.

"Fancy Pants? Thats your step-brother I presume?" Rachel asks, a small smile forming on her face.

"Yeah," he chuckles. "Kurt. He's a big fan of the show. He'll die when he hears we were here today."

"Well I can't let that happen on my watch, now can I? How can I get in contact with you?"

"What?" He asks, unsure of how to answer the question.

"This show has been very good to me, but that wouldn't be possible without the fans that have been good to it. I would love to do something to say thank you to one our biggest fans."

"Oh you don't have to-"

"Please. I want to," she smiles, batting her eyelashes at him, clearly knowing the power she yields. Finn shakes his head and chuckles softly because he's not sure how anyone can say no to that face, green paint and all. He's willing to bet she always gets her way.

"Yo Hudson! Come on!"

Finn sighs when Puck shouts for him from down the hall, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out one of his cards from his wallet.

"I gotta go, but here, take my card," Finn sucks in a breath as his fingers brush Rachel's, her eyes shooting up to his immediately, visibly sucking in her own breath. He pulls his hand back quickly, his skin tingling from the electric shock her touch created. He nods his head towards Puck, waiting at the end of the hallway, "I gotta, Uh I gotta..."

"Enjoy the show Finn," she smiles softly, clasping her hands in front of her.

"Thanks Rach," he grins, not realizing the nick name that's just slipped past his lips. "Break a leg."

* * *

><p>Rachel sighs in relief when she comes home to find the apartment dark and quiet, Jake already fast asleep in their bed. She grabs her toiletries and tiptoes to the guest bathroom to shower, not wanting to disturb her sleeping husband.<p>

She dresses quickly, throwing her wet hair up in a messy bun before sticking her head in the bedroom to check on Jake one last time. When she's satisfied her actions haven't woken him, she heads to the office, closing the door behind her before powering up her desktop and plopping down in the cushy chair positioned directly in front of it. She looks over her shoulder before she pulls out the card, laughing nervously at herself because why in the world is she behaving this way? It's just a business card...a business card of the most handsome man she's ever seen in her life.

_Why_ had she asked for this?

She sets the card down on the desk and shakes her head._ No_. No, she can't do this, she shouldn't...But she's not doing this for him, she's doing it for his brother. Right? He's probably already called him, told him he has a surprise for him and it would be awfully terrible of Rachel to promise something to a fan and not deliver. The thought of having that kind of reputation panics her and she quickly makes up her mind. She'll check with Kitty tomorrow and see what she can set up for next weekend. She'll simply email Finn the information and that will be that. She'll never see him again...never see the most handsome man in the world again.

"_Stop_," Rachel says out loud, covering her face as the white of the Google home screen shines brightly in front of her, making her eyes ache. She sighs as she drops her hands to the desk, lifting the card to inspect it one more time. "The New Directions Agency, Finn Hudson."

It doesn't make her a terrible wife that she thinks he's handsome, does it? She's found other men attractive before and she's certain Jake has found other women attractive. She's married but she's still _human,_ she shouldn't feel guilty about this. Sure something crazy and electric and down right inexplicable happened when their fingers brushed but she's sure it was all in her head...it had to have been. The physical spark between them was just her over active imagination, it's a complete non-factor. Googling him wouldn't be wrong, if anything, she may even find out more about this Noah Puckerman character. (Puckerman is not a common name, she can't help but wonder if there's a connection there).

So it's settled then, she'll research Finn to find out more about his client. She's actually being a good wife if you think about it, trying to connect her husband with long lost possible relatives. She nods her head, confident with this conclusion as she quickly types Finn's name into the search box.

She scrolls slowly as she passes links to The New Directions Agency, links to past and current clients, stopping and clicking only when she comes to his Twitter profile. She can't help the silly grin that breaks out across her face as she reads his bio, "tall, awkward, New Yorker, sports junkie, drummer, person." She scrolls down some, giggling at his random tweets mixed with passionate sports rants and adorable pictures. She stops when one picture in particular catches her eye. She clicks to enlarge it, studying the faces of two young boys on a football field, one lanky and pale, the other stockier with sun kissed skin, grinning at the caption "Throwback Thursday, me and Puckerman, killin' it on the field since '85." She finds herself wondering why Finn became an agent instead of a player, why Puckerman is this supposed huge sensation and he works in an office.

She slides through his other pictures, stopping when she finds one of him and who she can only assume is "Fancy Pants" (she is not one to judge others if she can help it, but there is irrefutable photographic evidence in front of her that his velvet pants _are_ indeed fancy). She laughs at the nickname, curious if Kurt takes kindly to being called that or not. She decides to ignore the fact that she really wants to know the answers to these questions...that she really wants to know more about this man.

She closes out of the pictures, clicking Puck's name and scrolling through his much less interesting tweets. She's just about to click back to Finn's page when Jake's voice startles her, snapping her back to reality.

"Hey babe, I didn't hear you come home," he smiles sleepily, rubbing his hands over his tired face.

"Hey," she breathes, covering her heart with her hand as it pounds against her palm. He starts walking towards her and she panics, sliding Finn's business card under the keyboard before he can see it. She doesn't know why she's acting like this. Again, she assures herself she's doing nothing wrong.

"What're you doing?" He chuckles as he makes his way around the desk and looks at the screen.

"I uhm, I met Noah Puckerman today at work," she explains, licking her lips and trying desperately to calm her nerves.

"Who's that?" He asks, face scrunched in confusion. She's not necessarily surprised that he's never heard of him, he's never been big into sports. Being a professional dancer and she an actress, they tend to surround themselves mainly with other artists.

"He's a football player. Apparently the Jets want to sign him, they brought him to the theater today as they showed him around town. You've never heard of him?"

"Nope."

"You're not the slightest bit curious?" She asks seriously. "Have you ever met anyone else with the last name Puckerman?"

"No I haven't," he answers flatly, looking anywhere but at Rachel. Jake grew up with his mother, having never known the father that abandoned him while he was still in her womb. She knows it's a sore subject for him, one he prefers to avoid talking about, but she thinks maybe connecting with a member from that side of his family could be good for him.

"Why don't we-"

"No Rachel," he interrupts immediately.

"Why not?" She demands, "He could be your cousin or your uncle or your _brother!_"

"He's a professional football player Rachel, I'm sure he doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself...like a true Puckerman."

"Hey," she scolds, standing to her feet. "You're a Puckerman. _I'm_ a Puckerman. We care very much about other people. You shouldn't dismiss someone who could be family just because one person let you down."

"Babe," he sighs, looking at her hopelessly. He knows it's fruitless to argue with her, she always gets her way...one way or another.

"He even kind of looks like you...I swear I'm not being crazy" she says softly, shrugging her shoulders.

"Fine," he surrenders. "You know where my documents are, knock yourself out. I'm not promising anything though."

"I'll do it all!" She swears, smiling as he wraps his arms around her and buries his head in her neck.

"You coming to bed?" He mumbles into her hair.

"In a little bit," she answers, pulling back and reclaiming her seat in front of the computer.

"Right," he chuckles, "I guess you have work to do."

She grins, nodding her head in agreement.

"Don't stay up too late, yeah?"

"I won't," she rolls her eyes playfully, shooing him from the room before digging in the desk drawer she knows holds all their personal documents. She pulls out the manila folder with Jake's name on it, flipping through the papers before she finds the one she's looking for. Her eyes scan over the printed words quickly, stopping when they find the two words she's searching for.

"Bingo."

* * *

><p>"I'm telling you dude, this deal I'm working on for Puck is gonna be one for the ages," Finn brags, sitting back in his office chair and sending the miniature basketball in his hand sailing through the hoop on the back of his door. "He's gonna be set for life."<p>

"He's already set for life," Artie Abrams grumbles, rolling his wheel chair to grab the ball and send his own shot flying through the hoop.

"Don't be bitter just because I'm his agent and I get a slice," Finn jokes. "I've known him since birth practically, he owes me. Womb to tomb, brother."

"Yeah, yeah," Artie brushes him off, sending another shot soaring through the net. "Just wait til I become the first handicapable player in the NBA. You sure as hell ain't gonna represent me."

"Ouch, I see how it is," Finn laughs, holding his hands over his chest in mock pain. "Good luck getting the green you deserve with Chang or Evans as your agent."

Artie tosses the ball to Finn just as his office phone starts ringing, Finn wrapping his long fingers around the orange ball as he answers, "This is Hudson."

"Hi, uhm Finn? It's Rachel...Rachel Berry."

Finn's heart starts pumping furiously in his chest at the soft sound of Rachel's voice in his ear, the sound that's been replaying in his head over and over again since he met her Friday night.

Artie's curious eyes connect with his over the desk as he nods for him to leave. Artie smirks, crossing his arms across his chest, content to sit and listen to as much of Finn's conversation as he can. "It's a girl, huh?"

"Get out!" Finn hisses, chunking the ball straight at Artie's head when he still doesn't move.

"I...oh I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't have called," Rachel stutters on the other end, Finn shooing at Artie frantically until he finally leaves, singing "_Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me..._" the entire length between Finn's office and his.

"No! No please, just...just hold on one second," Finn begs, setting down the receiver and standing to close the door Artie conveniently left wide open.

"Okay, I'm here. I'm sorry, just...just annoying co-workers in my office," Finn exhales, sitting back down in his chair and resting his head against the cool leather. He squeezes his eyes shut as his stomach flips and his heart pounds. _What is he doing?_ This chick is married. She's someone's _wife_.

"No Finn, I'm sorry. I should have just emailed you, I'll let you go," Rachel says quickly, sounding just as nervous as Finn feels.

"Rachel," he laughs, trying to sound as confident as he can. "It's fine. I'm glad you called."

"You are?" She asks quietly.

"Yeah," he whispers, quickly clearing his throat and adding, "Kurt hasn't shut up about the fact that a big Broadway star like you knows his name." He doesn't know why he just said that. He hasn't even told Kurt yet.

_Get it together Hudson!_

Her laugh comes through the phone and tickles his ear in the same way it did when he heard it in person, his stomach twisting in a knot as she begins speaking again.

"Well you can tell Kurt there will be two Vip tickets waiting for him at Will Call Saturday night at 7, courtesy of really big Broadway star Rachel Berry."

"That's awesome," Finn chuckles. "Rachel, he's gonna flip. Thank you, you didn't have to do that."

"It's my pleasure Finn," she assures him. "Maybe you can talk him into letting you have the second ticket, you know, if the show wasn't too boring for you."

"Definitely wasn't boring," Finn assures her. "I regret not letting him drag me there sooner. You're incredible."

"Thank you," she breathes and he hates the way his heart skips a beat at the audible smile in her voice. "I actually...well I may have another reason for calling."

"Yeah? What's that?" Finn asks, his own low voice hard to hear over the blood pumping in his ears.

"Do you happen to know the name of Noah Puckerman's father?"

Finn's heart drops at her words. He's not sure what he was expecting her to say...what he even _wanted_ her to say, but it wasn't this. It wasn't anything to do with her husband.

"I don't," he answers, half-heartedly. "But I could find out easy enough."

"I would really appreciate it," she thanks him genuinely. "I know it sounds crazy but there's just too much coincidence for me to ignore. I'll just...is it okay if I email you so you have my info?"

"Of course," he assures her. "I'll let you know what I find out."

"Thank you Finn, it means so much."

"You're welcome Rachel, we'll talk soon," he says lightly.

"Bye Finn."

"Bye," he exhales, dropping his head onto his desk and groaning as he hangs up. He has the most fucked up luck ever.

He's just about to text Puck to see what he's doing later, making his mind up that a night out is just what he needs when his computer makes that obnoxious explosion sound Artie setup that happens _every single time_ he gets a new email.

He sighs, assuming it's some bullshit work email, but stops immediately when he sees the smiley face in the subject line. His eyes grow wide as he checks the sender "GoldStarRBP".

RBP? The hell?

Oh, right...Rachel Berry _Puckerman._

He holds his breath as he opens the email, quickly releasing it in a chuckle when he reads her words.

**Hi Finn, it's Rachel Berry! I told you I'd email you so, here it is! I look forward to hearing back from you. I hope you have a fantastic day!**

She signs the message with a gold star by her name, making Finn shake his head at himself because he's literally never met a girl like this one before. Everything she does intrigues him. He feels his fingers typing out a response before his brain even catches up.

**Hey Rach, I'm gonna try to meet up with Puck tonight. I'll get all the info I can. I hope your day is awesome too!**

He grabs his phone as soon as he hits send, texting both Puck and Kurt to tell them when and where to meet for dinner...hopefully they'll come along. He releases his breath in a loud huff, sitting back in his chair and staring at the ceiling helplessly for the second time that afternoon. He's not sure what the hell he just got himself into.

He arrives at the restaurant before anyone else, taking it upon himself to order everyone a beer and greedily throwing his back as soon as it appears before him. The afternoon passed by excruciatingly slowly after his brief interaction with Rachel and he was hardly able to concentrate on anything else as the hours crept by. He doesn't know what it is about this girl, he can't pinpoint one thing in particular that makes her different from all the others, but in the short amount of time he's known her, she's found a way into his head and she won't leave. If she wasn't married he's confident he'd have a date set up with her already...but she _is_ married soooo...now what? This is unchartered territory!

"_What's wrong with you_?" He grumbles to himself, reaching for Kurt's beer and throwing that one back as well. He doesn't need to waste his time worrying about what's next because there is no next! She's married! There is nothing else!

"Are you talking to yourself again?"

Finn looks up and rolls his eyes at the smug grin on Kurt's face, gesturing for him to have a seat.

"Rough day?" He asks, situating himself in his seat and looking at Finn expectantly.

"Something like that," Finn grumbles, smiling in relief when the waitress shows back up and quickly ordering another round.

"Anything you want to talk about?" Kurt asks, his interest piqued by Finn's odd facial expressions.

"Nope. Not even a little bit," Finn answers quickly. "I do have something to tell you though."

"You ladies aren't starting the party without me, are ya?" Puck asks, grinning like wild as a few of the patrons around them look at him in recognition.

"Finn's having issues he doesn't want to talk about," Kurt shrugs, grabbing a piece of bread from the basket in front of him and nibbling delicately.

"What else is new?" Puck snorts, "I thought you weren't eating carbs anymore Fancy?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but this is my cheat meal," Kurt huffs, making a show of his next bite.

"Don't cheat too much, fancy pants ain't so fancy on a fat ass," Puck winks.

"Okay anyway," Finn interrupts, wanting to change the subject before Kurt storms out, _again_. "I have a surprise for you Kurt."

"And what's that?" He asks, already looking bored.

"You got plans Saturday night?"

"Depends."

"Oh well that's fine. I'll just find someone else to give the Vip tickets waiting under the name Kurt Hummel at the Gerswhin will call to," Finn says nonchalantly, smirking when Kurt's jaw drops practically to the table.

"Are you serious? What all does vip entail?" Kurt gasps, eyes wild with excitement.

"I have no idea," Finn chuckles, wishing Rachel could see his reaction. "But since I'm the one who who helped make this happen, I think it's only fair you take me along to find out."

"Deal!" Kurt squeals, excitedly taking a sip of his red wine as Puck looks on suspiciously.

"You're willingly going back to that place?" Puck asks.

"Yeah," Finn shrugs, "I kinda liked it."

"You mean you kinda have the hots for the Grinchette," Puck smirks.

"What? No I don't!" Finn practically shouts, rubbing at his neck uncomfortably when he realizes how aggressively he just answered.

"_Obviously_," Puck laughs. "She's married you know."

"I know douche nozzle," Finn quips, sighing for what feels like the five hundred millionith time since he's met Rachel when he catches sight of Kurt's amused expression.

"I'm assuming the uneducated swine at the table means Elphaba when he says Grinchette?"

"Hey Fancy, I don't even eat pork. I'm Jewish. Jokes on you!" Puck grins, mouth full of garlic bread.

"Yeah, so anyways," Kurt turns back to Finn after staring at Puck bewildered for a moment. "You're in good with Elphaba herself? Rachel Berry?"

"Uh, yeah I guess," Finn mutters. "She's the one who got you the tickets."

"This shit should be good," Puck chuckles, licking some excess butter off his finger.

Finn, choosing to ignore Puck's comment, looks at his friend, "She wants to know about your dad."

"The fuck? Why? You're talking about me with this chick or what?"

"She thinks you and her husband are related or something. I told her I'd find out what I could."

"Naw man, I don't need some 'new cousins' showing up now that I got money. I'm good."

"She's kinda famous too Puck, I'm pretty sure she has her own money. I don't even know if her husband knows she's doing this," Finn explains.

Puck looks at him doubtfully, surrendering eventually when it becomes clear that Finn won't back down.

"I don't know much besides the fact that he's a fucking loser deadbeat whose beer tastes like shit," Puck grumbles.

"Your father makes beer for a living?" Kurt laughs, immediately straightening his features when Puck glares at him.

"'For a living' would be being nice," he snorts. "But yeah. Puckerman's Special Sauce...I don't recommend you try it."

"Do you know his name?" Finn asks, hoping to have something substantial to give Rachel. He's known Puck as long as he can remember, but he's never mentioned much about his Dad and Finn's never asked. He didn't have a dad either. He's not even sure if Puck actually knows his biological dad's name.

"Steve," he sighs. "Steven Puckerman. With a V. Lives in Jersey. That's really all I know."

"That's good, thanks man," Finn nods, turning his attention back to his beer now that he's gotten the information he came for.

"Soooo that's it?" Puck asks.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not gonna tell us anymore about Grinchie?"

"Oh Good Lord," Kurt mutters, throwing back a huge gulp of wine.

"There's nothing to tell," Finn deadpans. "She did me a favor, I did one in return. End of story."

"You sure?" Puck asks, raising an eyebrow in question. Sometimes Finn really hates how well Puck knows him.

"Yeah man," Finn nods, looking up from his beer and ignoring the weird feeling his words create in his stomach. "I'm sure."

* * *

><p><strong>Rest assured Finn and Rachel are the focus of this story. Though it <em>will<em> be addressed, Rachel is simply using the paternity of the Puckerman men as justification for her interacting with Finn right now. She doesn't feel as guilty feeding her overwhelming desire to talk to Finn if she convinces herself she's doing it to help Jake...for now. Stay tuned!**

**I'll save the family drama for Family Business!**

**Hope you guys have a safe and happy New Year's Eve! See you in 2015!**


	2. Small Crime

**Thanks for the awesome feedback on chapter 1! I know some of you are concerned I'm going to sugar coat this in order to get Finchel together...I'm not. The angst gets heavier as the story goes on. Drama is coming, be prepared...but it has to build first of course ;)**

**Opening quote & chapter title from Damien Rice's "9 Crimes."**

* * *

><p>"<em>Leave me out with the waste, this is not what I do. It's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you. It's the wrong time for somebody new, its a small crime and I've got no excuse."<em>

Rachel inhales a deep breath as she enters her empty dressing room, exhaling slowly in relief as she leans against the closed door. The show was grueling tonight, more so than usual, and she's exhausted. She drags her tired feet to her vanity, plopping down and staring at her reflection in the bright mirror. She's not sure when the stage lost its magic, she used to dream of playing Elphaba every night, getting a rousing standing ovation as she hung above the stage and pledged to defy gravity. She's done that, she's done everything she dreamed she would and now she's...she's _bored_.

Jake doesn't understand. He tells her this is what she's trained so hard for, this is her destiny, but she's not sure she agrees. There's more out there for her she just knows it! She wants to explore life beyond the stage and experience everything she possibly can!

She just has to find the courage first.

She purses her lips at her reflection, sighing when her phone buzzes from it's place next to her makeup brushes. It's Jake, asking her how the show went and letting her know he'll be waiting up for her. She waits before texting him back, choosing instead to check her email while she has her phone in hand and a free second. She deletes several junk emails and even more of those "forward to ten people or you'll die tonight" emails from her father (Bless his little heart) before she freezes, her signature beam breaking out across her face as butterflies simultaneously go wild in her stomach. She didn't expect to hear back from Finn so quickly and she eagerly clicks his email to see what he has to say.

**Hey Rach, I talked to Puck at dinner tonight and got some info. He doesn't seem to know much, except his dad's name is Steven Puckerman and he lives in Jersey. Oh and that he makes a beer called Puckerman's Special Sauce? I think? But he says it sucks...so don't try it. You don't really seem like the beer drinking kind of girl though. You probably drink something more classy...like a martini. Am I right?**

**But yeah, anyway I hope that helps.i**

**P.s. Kurt is psyched. Thanks again.**

She reads the email again, laughing quietly to herself at his adorable awkwardness. She wonders if she should respond? Well of course she should, she has to say thank you, right? She wonders if his question about the martini was rhetorical or if he really wants an answer. Should she answer now or wait a little bit so she doesn't seem so eager?

_Wow_, since when has making a new friend been so hard?

_Since said new friend makes your heart race and your palms sweat like your husband never does,_ she thinks, stomach sour with guilt.

The unsettling feeling in her stomach makes her decide against responding right away, instead locking her phone and preparing to gather her things when her phone buzzes again, making her jump high off her seat. She covers her face in embarrassment once she recovers, not sure why the vibration of the phone in her hand startled her so very much. It's Jake again, naturally, so she fires off an apology and tells him she'll be headed his way soon.

She decides to walk home, skipping her usual chauffeured town car and spending a little time lost in her thoughts. Her feet know the way automatically just like she knew they would. She knows this city like the back of her hand now...she likes to think that makes her a real New Yorker, despite her Ohio roots.

Moving on autopilot through the streets allows her thoughts to wander and they, unsurprisingly, go to the exact place they've been going over and over again this past week, Finn Hudson. She doesn't know why she can't shake off the thought of him. She's been with Jake since she was eighteen, having met him her second day in the city and never looking back since. She can honestly say she's never had this problem before. It has to just be because of his connection to the first Puckerman she's come across since her husband. It has nothing to do with his infectious grin or immaculately messy hair or adorable dimples. And it's certainly not the way he made her feel as he towered above her, whiskey eyes shining down as they bathed her in their warmth. No, it's about Noah Puckerman, it's about family and it's about- WAIT! She realizes she's been so caught up thinking about Finn himself that she completely bypassed the actual information he sent her in his email.

She rips her phone from her pocket as she continues on her trek, pulling his email back up and reading the words for a third time. "Steven Puckerman!" She shouts, ignoring the looks of the pedestrians around her and picking up her pace. Steven Puckerman is the exact name listed under father on Jake's birth certificate. Why his mother chose to even list a father (and give her son his last name) when he wasn't even around is beyond her, but here it is! She can't believe this! Jake has a brother?

She practically jogs the rest of the way home, bursting through the door breathless, only to find Jake snoring on the couch, the fluorescent light of the tv the only thing illuminating the room. She's much less disappointed than she should be, toeing off her shoes and racing softly by him and into the office. She holds her breath as the door clicks shut, bouncing to the desk and firing up her computer. She picks up the birth certificate she left laying out and stares at the name "Steven Puckerman" printed in bold black letters.

"You didn't give him much you sorry bastard," she whispers aloud, "but did you give him a brother?"

Her hands start working of their own accord, typing furiously until she hits send and realizes she just emailed Finn. She gasps at her actions, leaning forward on her elbows as she stares intently at the screen, reading over what she's already sent.

**Finn! Thank you so much! I think we're on to something here! Guess whose name is listed on Jake's birth certificate as father? Steven Puckerman! This is crazy, isn't it? We need to get them together somehow! Have a dinner? Or a party? What do you think? Will you help me?**

**I'm so happy to hear Kurt is excited! I hope you talked him into giving you the other ticket :) And for the record, you're right, kind of. Pink champagne is my weakness ;)**

She remains motionless as she stares at her words. Did she go overboard? The smiley face was okay she thinks. She's a happy person, she likes to smile. Friends smile at each other. The winky face was probably too much though... perhaps she should have left that one out.

The smiley face, the winky face, none of that matters though when something else dawns on her...The excitement she feels over the possibility of seeing Finn again on Saturday? It's much too much. She's definitely gone overboard and she doesn't think she knows how to back track..doesn't know if she _wants_ to back track. Does she want to go back to life without Finn Hudson?

She turns her head and looks at the framed photo of her and Jake hanging on the wall beside her and frowns.

_What is she doing?_

* * *

><p>"<em>What is she doing?<em>" Finn groans as he finishes reading Rachel's email. He throws himself back against his pillows and covers his face, groaning again as her words replay in his head. He's been home from dinner with Kurt and Puck and laying alone in his bed for hours, but has yet to get a wink of sleep. Against his better judgement he went ahead and emailed Rachel what he found out about Puck's dad and he hasn't been able to stop checking to see if she's responded since. He's spent the past few hours tormenting himself over his stupid email. Why did he have to add that part about the beer? Why does he have to be such a dork? _God this girl is making him crazy!_

He eagerly opened her email as soon as he saw her response, feeling the most overwhelming mixture of happy and annoyed and excited and just..._frustrated_ he's ever felt in his life! Why does she think he cares so much about this? Puck doesn't need a brother, he has a brother! _Him_! This isn't some big and exciting thing for him and he doesn't think Puck's gonna care that much either.

But _God_ does he want to help just so he has an excuse to keep talking to her, to see her again. The thought of getting to see her again on Saturday makes him so excited he hates himself. He's not that guy. The guy who goes after whoever he wants just because he can, not caring what destruction he leaves in his wake. She's married. She's untouchable.

He's NOT that guy.

He has to put a stop to this. He'll just email her and tell her he's glad that he could help but that he really can't anymore. He'll say he's just too busy. That he's actually not even friends with Puck anymore. That he's being medically quarantined for the next year and being around him would put her life in grave danger.

Or he could just nut up and tell her the truth. That she's the coolest fucking chick he's ever met and that he wants to know everything about her. That he knows they've only just met but that he feels like he's known her forever. That she's gotten under his skin unlike anyone ever has before and he can't stop thinking about her.

That he'd bet money that they were meant to be something special...if she didn't already have something special with someone else.

He exhales the breath he didn't realize he was holding in a loud puff, staring at the white ceiling of his bedroom as he loses himself in a moment of self-pity. He grabs his phone again when he's decided enough is enough. He's gonna email her. He's just gonna do it.

His phone rings before he has a chance to even open his email, Finn answering frantically when he sees it's his mom, Carole.

"Hey mom, are you okay?"

"Yes Finn," she laughs. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Mom it's almost midnight, you never call this late."

"Oh I'm sorry honey. I had a coffee date with some girls from work this afternoon and that latte has me buzzin'!"

Finn chuckles through the phone at his mom's "coffee buzz", her care free tone helping instantly to calm his frayed nerves.

"Did you see the picture?"

"Did I see what picture?" Finn asks, confused.

"The one Susie posted. Oh Finn she just got the cutest puppies, you have to go look!"

Finn rolls his eyes as he laughs at his mom's words. Only _his_ mom would call at midnight and tell him to check out a facebook picture of her neighbor's dogs. He literally only keeps a facebook account to please his mom, her feelings get hurt if he doesn't like or comment on her pictures (which are often of him and Kurt).

"I'll go look as soon as we hang up, promise," Finn smiles, glad to hear from his mom even if it is for such a random reason.

They talk for a little while longer, catching up on what they've missed since they last spoke, until the hour suddenly catches up with Carole and she tells him she has to go to bed. He hangs up the call and quickly makes his way to the Facebook app on his phone, knowing his mom will check tomorrow to see if he's looked at Susie's picture. The dogs are cute enough Finn guesses, though not call someone at midnight to talk about it cute. He likes it regardless, making his way to his mom's page afterwards to make sure he hasn't missed anything important there when an idea hits him.

He thinks about it for only a second before he's typing Rachel's name into the search box, his heart skipping a beat when her picture pops up before him. His thumbs clicks her face before his mind gives him permission, his heart eager for anything and everything Rachel related it can get.

He's disappointed when he sees her page is set to private, but he figures it must be a personal page she keeps for friends and family, not fans and the general public. He clicks to enlarge her profile picture, smiling in victory when it does. Her big brown doe eyes stare at him from the screen of his phone and despite feeling a little like a creeper, he allows himself to study her face for a minute. She really is so beautiful and Finn wants so badly the chance to study that face in person...preferably while it's not covered in green paint.

He swipes his thumb to the right, delighted to find he can view several of her previous profile pictures and feeling his desire to know her more grow with each new shot. He shakes his head at himself as he goes back to her current picture, his entire body freezing when he notices the blue thumbs up taunting him from the left corner of his screen.

"No, no, no, no, no!" He cries, shooting up in bed. He didn't like this picture! Well, he_ likes_ the picture...he likes the picture a lot, she looks amazing, but he didn't "like" like the picture. He doesn't want her to know he likes it! Or that he was even looking at it in the first place! She's definitely going to think he's some weirdo stalker now!

"Shit!" He curses, scrambling to hit the thumb again, effectively un-liking the picture of a glowing Rachel. Finn can only hope he did it in enough time to avoid her getting a notification. He closes out of the album immediately, not wanting to risk embarrassing himself again when his stomach jumps up into his throat. The little red "1" looming over his message icon has to just be a coincidence, right? He doesn't wait long to see, clicking the envelope and groaning loudly when he sees Rachel's picture again. Of course she saw, as if luck was ever on his side.

**You could just send me a friend request, you know :)**

Finn stares at the words without blinking until a small smile creeps it's way onto his face and he has to bite his lip to keep from chuckling.

**I have no idea what you're talking about.**

**It's okay Finn, you don't have to be embarrassed. It's okay to admit you were trying to look at my facebook...**

**I didn't mean to like it...it was my fat thumb's fault...**

**So you don't like the picture? Ouch Finn, tell me how you** **really feel!**

He laughs as he reads her message, rolling over to his stomach and resting his weight on his elbows as he types his response.

**Oh I like it, I just wasn't tying to let you know that I do**

**If it makes you feel any better I looked at all your Twitter pictures the night we met...**

Finn feels a strange thrill shoot through his body from the fact she's looked him up online also and he wonders if it's possible that she's just as curious about him as he is her.

**And no follow? Damn, that one hurts**

**Friend me on facebook and I'll follow you on Twitter ;)**

**You drive a hard bargain Ms Berry**

**Take it or leave it Hudson :)**

**What are you doing up so late?**

**Doing research**

**You really think they're related huh?**

**I do. I think they should meet.**

**Lets set something up! **

He grunts a little when he realizes what he just said. Wasn't his plan just an hour ago to tell her he couldn't help?

**Let's talk about it on Saturday. You're coming right?**

**Didn't even give him a choice**

**Good :)**

Finn's stomach swoops in an unfamiliar way as he stares at her response. It makes him happy she wants him at her show again. He actually hates how happy it makes him.

He has to end this conversation now, this is getting ridiculous. He clicks her page again, requesting to friend her before returning to their messages.

**I'm about to call it a night. Check your requests.**

**Yessir. I'll be sure to provide you with that follow I promised as well.**

**Goodnight Rach**

**Sweet dreams Finn :)**

He locks his phone and tosses it on the sheets beside him before rolling onto his back again. He knows it's wrong, he's pretty sure he's never been more wrong in his life, but as he shuts his eyes and wills sleep to come there's only thing on his mind...He cannot wait until Saturday.

* * *

><p>Rachel looks over her shoulder to make sure no one is watching her as she approaches the edge of the stage. She can hear the sound of the audience shuffling around and finding their seats, greeting the people next to them and discussing the upcoming show. Behind the curtain the cast and crew bustle by, checking off the last to-do's on their lists before show time. She likes to describe this time of night as organized chaos and she's thankful for it in this moment as she slinks unseen to where she can peek out into the audience. She knows Finn said he was coming, but the rush of adrenaline that pumps through her veins when she spots him settling into his seat next to the infamous Fancy Pants almost knocks her off her feet. You'd think getting two front row seats would be easy for the veteran star of the show, but she actually had to pull quite a few strings to secure them. It was worth it though, she knows for certain as she watches Finn smiling at the wide eyed awe on his brother's face.<p>

"Get your perky little ass back here Berry!"

Rachel jumps, gasping loudly as Kitty startles her away from her peeking position.

"What're you doing?" Kitty hisses, grasping a clipboard to her chest. "It's almost show time!"

"Kitty, do you remember the tickets I had you get me for tonight? In the front row?" Rachel asks, feigning sweetness.

"Yeah?" Kitty asks, clearly failing to see where this is going.

"I need you to get those gentlemen after the show and bring them backstage. I want them to meet everyone."

"Fine," Kitty sighs, turning and walking away from Rachel without another word.

"Okay great," Rachel calls to Kitty's retreating figure, really hoping she was actually listening to her and follows through.

She sneaks one last peek into the audience, so distracted by the chiseled jawline of her newest friend and the large, strong hand he's rubbing against it that she fails to realize how horrifically inappropriate the responding irregular thumps of her heart are. Turning and running back stage in blissful ignorance, she mentally prepares herself to give the brothers the most awe inspiring performance they've ever seen in their lives!

She's practically buzzing after the show, a live wire who can hardly sit still. The difference between how she feels tonight and how she's been feeling lately are glaringly obvious to her, but she shakes that thought aside as she works furiously to scrub off the green makeup caked on her skin.

By some glorious divine intervention (there's no other explanation!) she's completely fresh faced when a knock at her dressing room door catches her attention. She grins as she practically skips to the door, stopping just before she places her hand on the knob to take a deep breath and compose herself.

Her smile drops immediately when she opens the door to find Kitty, seemingly alone.

"Hey," Kitty grumbles, quite possibly the most unenthusiastic greeting Rachel's ever received in her life.

"Hi?" Rachel smiles in question. "Did you get Mr. Hudson and Mr. Hummel?" She peaks her head out in the hallway, looking for any sign of the men and growing irrationally frustrated when she sees no trace of them.

"Of course I did," Kitty rolls her eyes, "they're down the hall with Will and Jesse." She turns with a flip of her blonde hair and disappears down the hall, leaving Rachel stunned and a little confused as she turns back to her vanity and applies what little makeup she can in such short time. She feels a little disappointed when she looks in the mirror, her long hair piled high in a bun, minimal makeup to compliment her leggings, sweater and coordinating infinity scarf. Any other night she'd think nothing of her current look, but tonight it just doesn't seem right. Why didn't she plan ahead for this?

_Because you shouldn't plan outfits for men Rachel, especially ones that aren't your husband._

She frowns to herself at her own thoughts, slinging her purse across her chest and heading towards the manly laughter she hears from down the hall. The closer she gets to Finn, the more intense the butterflies in her stomach get and if she had any sense in her head at all she would turn and run far, far away.

As if he feels her approaching, Finn turns his head suddenly, locking eyes with her and flashing a heart stopping grin that practically knocks the wind out of her. She couldn't not smile back if she tried, Finn's eyes on her bathing her insides in a warmth like she's never felt before. There's some part of her, somewhere in the back of her mind that recognizes that this is trouble, that she should stop this...this _friendship_ before she finds herself in a situation she shouldn't be, but she physically can't turn away from this man.

Kurt seems to notice Finn's distraction, looking up at his brother before following his line of vision to a blushing Rachel.

"And here's our star of the show, Rachel Berry!" Her director Will cheerfully cries, grabbing her hand and pulling her into their little circle.

"Oh Ms. Berry, thank you so much," Kurt fires off, excitement bubbling over. "This is all just so amazing! I just shook _Fiyero's_ hand!"

"It was my pleasure," she grins, reaching out to hug him but never taking her eyes off a smirking Finn. "And please, call me Rachel."

"She said I could call her Rachel," Kurt muses, grinning excitedly at Finn.

"That is her name," Finn chuckles, catching Rachel off guard as reaches for her hand and places a soft kiss against her knuckles. "You were amazing tonight Rachel, just as I remembered."

She bites down painfully hard on her lower lip, attempting to distract herself from the tingles erupting up her arm from the feeling of Finn's lips on her skin. "Thank you Finn," she whispers, the only voice she's able to find at the moment.

"I've gotta run guys, it was nice to meet you," Will smiles, reaching out to shake both men's hands. "Rachel do you have this from here?"

"I do," she nods once she's cleared her throat and peeled her eyes off Finn. "Have a goodnight Will."

"So what's next?" Kurt asks excitedly, hopping up on his tip toes in excitement.

"We can finish checking it out back here, see who we run into," she offers. "Oooor, I know one particular cast member who would love to take you out for drinks. There's a little bar a couple blocks over a lot of actors hang out at after the shows."

"Awesome," Finn grins. "Wait, you're talking about the blonde that plays Glinda right?"

"Finn!" Kurt gasps, looking to Rachel apologetically.

"_I'm teasing_," he winks, Rachel's cheeks pinking under his attention.

"So is that a yes?" She grins.

"Absolutely!" Kurt squeals, "Lead the way my dear!"

The walk to the bar is filled with Kurt's excited questions, Rachel finding his enthusiasm refreshing considering the struggle she's currently having being happy on stage. She's animated as she answers every last one of his questions, trying her hardest to breathe steady but finding it to be a struggle as Finn keeps shooting her glances over Kurt's head.

Once they arrive she excuses herself to the ladies room, firing off a quick text to Jake saying she'll be home late due to an extended meet and greet. She swallows down the guilt she feels from her little white lie, but she figures it's not stretching the truth _that_ far. She is entertaining fans after all. They're fans and friends. Fan friends. It's not bad.

Once she's convinces herself that she's doing nothing wrong, she heads back into the direction she left the men, taking the seat next to Kurt, thinking that's the safest option for her right now.

"Where's Finn?" She asks casually.

"At the bar," Kurt gestures towards the back of Finn's head visible across the room. "But enough about him, let's talk about you! Tell me how you got Elphaba! How was the audition?"

"I...uhmm I," Rachel hears Kurt asking her a question, she knows she has the answer in her mind somewhere but she's distracted by the way Finn's shoulders move under his grey dress shirt as he reaches across the bar. She notices the way his hair curls slightly at the nape of his neck and she wonders if it's always like that or if he's due for a haircut.

"Earth to Rachel," Kurt snaps,_ literally_ snapping his fingers in front of her face.

"Oh!" She squeaks, turning back to him as she flushes in embarrassment. "Sorry I...I thought I saw someone I knew. What was I saying?"

"Elphaba. How'd you get the role?"

"Oh, right! Uhm from Will Schuester, the director. When I first moved to New York ten years ago I worked with him on this really, really awful off Broadway show...that I'd rather not talk about. It was so bad," she adds with a laugh, Kurt chuckling at her expression as Finn approaches the table.

"Hold that thought brother, let's see if I got this right. I got an apple martini for Kurt, crown and seven for me annnd," he looks at Rachel and winks, "a Cosmo for Rachel. They don't have pink champagne, I checked. The bartender told me you'd like this if you like pink."

"I love Cosmos, thank you," she beams, taking a delicate sip, her eyes never leaving Finn's.

"It's okay?" He asks, taking his seat across from them in the booth. "I can go get you something else if you want?"

"It's delicious Finn," she assures him. "Have you ever had one?"

"I don't usually order pink drinks, no," he chuckles.

"Try it!" She urges, reaching across the table to offer him her glass.

"I'm alright," he laughs, scrunching his nose up as the girly liquid gets closer to his face.

"Just one sip!" She begs, "Try everything once, that's what I say."

"Yeah?" He asks, smirking at her as she giggles in response.

"Yeah."

"Okay, but only one," he teases, allowing her to hold the glass up to his lips for him.

"What do you think?" She asks excitedly, giggling wildly when he cracks a smile.

"I gotta say, it's pretty good."

"Told you," she beams triumphantly, pausing before she sits back in her seat. "Oh wait, you've got some Cosmo right here." She places her thumb on his bottom lip, planning to wipe away the stray drop of Cosmo that escaped her glass, but freezing when her thumb makes contact and their eyes lock. The intensity of his gaze leaves her breathless, the soft skin of his lips and the spikey scruff of his jaw against her hand making every inch of her buzz with desire. She wonders what would happen if she just reached up and kissed him?

Chills shoot down her spine as an image flashes in her mind and she sees his bottom lip being pulled between her teeth, their sweaty bodies pressed together as they move as one. Something flashes in his eyes and she wonders if he sees it too when suddenly a throat clears loudly somewhere next to them.

She jumps back in her seat, eyes darting to Kurt and then down to her lap in embarrassment.

"So Finn tells me you're married?" Kurt asks, keeping his eyes on her over the rim of his glass as he takes a sip.

She looks over to Finn before answering, not liking the way his features turn down into a frown that he quickly tries to cover by taking a large gulp of his drink.

"Yes, that's right," she nods, feeling monumentally uncomfortable at the obvious shift in the atmosphere around them.

"Does he know about your new friends?"

"Yes he does...kind of...I-'m sorry I have to...I need to run to the ladies room. I'll be right back."

Rachel slips out of the booth before she even finishes her sentence, moving as quickly as her feet will take her until she's slamming a stall door shut behind her in frustration.

"_What just happened?_" She whispers to herself, covering her face as she replays the events of the last thirty minutes. She and Kurt were talking about her career, Finn brought drinks, she made him try hers, and then she just froze when her fingers touched his face...she can only imagine what that looked like to Kurt. She's not even sure what that was, there's no telling what conclusion he's come to! He must think she's an awful person.

She makes her mind up quickly, splashing water on her face before and taking a deep breath as she makes her way back to the table with her head held high. "I'm sorry guys, my husband actually just called and I have to run...unexpectedly."

"What a coincidence," Kurt replies, glaring at Finn before shooting a friendly smile Rachel's way when Finn, she can only assume, kicks him under the table.

"What do I owe you?" She asks Finn, ignoring the way Kurt's eyes on her now seem hostile instead of awe struck as they did earlier.

"Oh please, nothing," Finn waves her off. "I got it but, uhm, what about the party?"

"Oh the party!" She gasps, suddenly remembering why she set this get together up in the first place. "I guess we can...Uhm well I can..."

"Hey," he says softly. "Puck just leased a sick loft in the city. He's always looking for an excuse to throw a party. I'll get it set up and let you know. Okay?"

"Really?" She asks, nibbling on her lip to keep from smiling, not wanting to give Kurt any more reasons to continue looking at her the way he is.

"Of course," he nods. "You okay?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm just going to grab a cab. Thanks...again." She nods shyly at both men as she turns towards the front door, taking a huge breath of cool night air as soon as it hits her face.

It's unsettling she thinks, this feeling she has of sadness as she leaves Finn. It makes her feel..._weird_...lonely, confused and guilty. She'd convinced herself she wasn't doing anything wrong, but the way Kurt began acting towards her once Finn sat down made it abundantly clear. You shouldn't have to convince yourself you're doing nothing wrong, that in itself should be the first sign that you are, in fact, wrong.

She can feel the frown on her face the entire ride back to her apartment, her feet heavy on the ground as she makes her way through her front door. Jake is asleep as she suspected he would be and the peaceful innocence written on his face as he snores in and out lightly makes her heart clinch in painful ways. He's a good man, a good husband. Why then can't she stop thinking about Finn?

She slips into bed beside him once she's changed into her night gown, squeezing her eyes shut and willing herself to not think of any other man besides the one laying next to her.

_I will not think of Finn. Finn's just a friend. Jake is my husband. I'm in love with Jake. Finn is just a friend._

She hopes maybe if she repeats it enough times she'll start to believe it.

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter we'll see<strong> **what Kurt says to Finn after Rachel leaves! **

**I'm really going to try to update Family Business next before this next chapter.._.I'm going to try.:)_**


	3. Trouble

**You guys rock! Thanks for the feedback!**

**I just want to reiterate that Finchel's affair is the main focus of this story. This is not the path I would wish for them if these were real people getting hurt, but this is fiction and I think all of the emotions that come into play in a situation like this (passion, guilt, jealousy, confusion, hurt, etc...) will be very intersting to explore (and hopefully to read).**

**And yes, to the person who** **asked, over the course of the fic we will see Finn jealous of Jake for his relationship with both Rachel AND Puck.**

**Also, I love my Twitter homies. That is all. :)**

**Opening quote and chapter title from "Whiskey" by Jana Kramer.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Hit me so hard like a rock through a window, I knew I was in trouble from the moment I met you..."<em>

Finn's heart sinks as he watches Rachel walk out of the bar, dread quickly taking the place of his disappointment when he remembers who he's still sharing a booth with. He'd been so overwhelmed when she'd run off to the rest room earlier that it had been easy for him to ignore Kurt's dissapproving looks and steady parade of "Finn, what was that?" and "Finn what are you doing?" He realizes there's no where to hide now and Rachel's definitely not going to swoop back in to save him again so he figures he may as well go ahead and get this over with.

"Go ahead," he grumbles as he makes eye contact with his brother, exhausted from the conversation before Kurt's even opened his mouth.

"What?" Kurt shrugs innocently, crossing his arms over his chest. "I have nothing to say."

"Awesome, then I'm gonna go ahead an-"

"It's just..."

"Oh here we go," Finn groans, slumping in his seat and throwing back the rest of his drink.

"I just never..._never_ in my spectacularly fabulous life thought I would say this, but...Puckerman's right, isn't he?"

"What?" Finn balks. "What're you talking about?"

"About Rachel," he says slowly, enunciating every syllable. "Are you having an affair with her?"

"What?! No!" Finn shouts, closing his eyes as he tries desperately to keep himself together. His emotions are all over the place and he knows from experience that letting Kurt know that will only make this little interrogation worse.

"She's married Finn. What if she has kids? Do you want to be known as a home wrecker?"

"She doesn't have kids Kurt," Finn grumbles, ignoring the rest of what he said.

"But she's married Finn. _Married_. Like til death do them part, married," Kurt emphasize, staring at Finn and waiting for his response. "Like husband and wife, _married_."

"You don't think I know that?!" Finn growls suddenly, slamming his fists on the table. "Why don't you tell me one more time, I don't think it's clicked yet!"

He can tell by the way Kurt's jumped back in his seat a little and how fucking humongous his eyes are right now that he's probably making a scene, but he can't bring himself to care. Like he needs another reminder about the girl of his dreams being with someone else. Tell him again, it feels really good. Isn't there an Alanis Morisette song about this or something? Cause he sure as hell finds this ironic.

"Finn, I'm sorry I just-"

Finn shakes his head at Kurt, clearing his throat as he interrupts him again, "I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

"I just don't want you to get hurt," Kurt tells him, eyes full of genuine concern.

"I'm not gonna get hurt man, she's just my friend."

"Finn I don't mean to over step my bounds or make you uncomfortable but as the third party at this table that all but disappeared when you showed up with drinks, I have to tell you that it's pretty clear that neither of you feel the other is_ just a friend_."

Finn opens his mouth to respond but quickly closes it as he can think of nothing to say in his defense, dropping his head down into his hands as he curses silently.

"There's an obvious spark between you two Finn and I can't say that I blame you for being intrigued by it, but being an extra, secret element to an already established relationship is just a disaster waiting to happen. Everyone always gets hurt."

"I can handle this," Finn assures him, looking him deep in his eyes to make sure he understands what he's saying. "I can handle being her friend. Nothing else is going to happen." They stare at each other for a long time, neither backing down until Kurts sighs, holding his hands up.

"Okay Finn, I believe you," Kurt nods, the look in his eyes completely betraying the confidence of his words.

"Why do you care so much anyway?" Finn scoffs, guilt shooting through him the second the words leave his mouth.

"Because you're my brother and I care about you," Kurt answers calmly. "And I know you'd do the same for me."

"I would," Finn agrees softly, hanging his head before looking back up at Kurt. "Thanks little brother, really, but I know what I'm doing."

"Okay," Kurt surrenders, finishing off his martini as they sit in awkward silence. "So do you want to get another round?"

"Naw man I'm good, kinda just wanna go home and crash if that's cool with you."

"Fine by me," Kurt agrees, scooting his way out of the booth before placing a gentle hand on Finn's arm. "I _did_ have a great time tonight, thank you for the tickets."

"It was more Rachel than me, but you're welcome," Finn grins, nudging Kurt playfully and trying to ignore the way his heart rate picks up just from the taste of her name on his tongue. "I'll see you soon, yeah?"

"Of course," Kurt agrees, beginning his walk home until he stops, turning back to Finn, "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"Don't I always?" Finn winks, faking a grin that quickly disappears as soon as Kurt turns around.

If only he could say that with more confidence.

All he can think about the entire way back to his apartment is making sure Rachel's okay. It irks him a little when he realizes he doesn't have her phone number and email or facebook are his only options for communicating with her. It's for the best though he realizes, wouldn't want to call and wake up her husband right?

_Ha_, what a crock of shit everything is turning out to be.

He showers and readies himself for the night before throwing himself down on the bed, hating himself for silently hating the man Rachel is probably laying beside right now. He can't help but be curious about him, what he looks like, what he does for a living, how he treats Rachel. He wonders what kind of man in America right now would not know who Noah Puckerman is? He's all over Sports Center these days!

He realizes that's just his jealousy talking though, he really just wants to know if he makes Rachel happy...is she happy? Does he take care of her? Does he satisfy her? Finn may not be the smartest man in the world but he knows something has to be missing...

He grunts in frustration as he rolls over in bed, restless from the non stop parade of Rachel Berry in his mind. He sees his phone laying next to him on the sheets, staring at him and taunting him just to message her. _She's only a couple clicks away Finn. One message won't hurt. Friends are allowed to talk to friends._

"Fuck it," he grumbles, snatching his phone and quickly checking to see if Rachel's online. His heart skips a beat when he sees she is, quickly sending her a message before his mind convinces him against it.

**Hey Rach, I'm so sorry about Kurt, he can be a little difficult sometimes. Hope you got home okay.**

He stares at his phone, stomach churning nervously until her response pops up, his body involuntarily sucking in a sharp breath.

**Don't worry about it Finn, he just doesn't understand our friendship. Sorry I had to leave early.**

"That makes two of us who don't understand," Finn grumbles to himself.

**It's cool, I just wanted to make sure you got home safe. You good?**

**I'm good, just can't sleep. Thank you Finn :)**

He rubs at the back of his neck, staring at the screen of his phone as he tries to decide what to do next. He wants to keep talking to her, he wants to get her phone number and actually _talk_ to her, but he knows it's better for him to end the conversation sooner rather than later. His mental well being is kind of hanging in the balance at this point.

**It's what friends do, right? I have a meeting with Puck on Tuesday, let me know what day is good for you for the party.**

He can't ignore the way his stomach continues to twist in a million different directions at the thought of this party. On one hand he's beyond freaking excited because it will give him an excuse to see Rachel again, but on the other, he knows he's going to have to see Rachel and her husband...together. At least he'll finally get a chance to see what all the fuss is about, right? He really hopes he's bigger than this guy at least...

**Yes, I wanted to talk to you about that! How much time do you need? I actually have a rare Sunday off this coming weekend so Saturday night after my show would be perfect!**

Finn chuckles to himself at her question, he gets the feeling her Puckerman is a lot different than the one he's grown up with.

**Puck just needs enough time to make a run to the liquor store. I dunno if you're ready for this Puckerman in your life Rach**

He laughs out loud when her response comes almost instantaneously.

**I'll have you know Finn Hudson, just because I prefer my drinks pink does not mean I can't "hang" with the boys. I'm ready ;**)

**I can't wait to find out, just don't run away this time!**

The smile on his face fades quickly when he realizes what's happening, when he realizes how _not_ fun drinking with Jake freaking Puckerman is going to be. This constant need of wanting to be around her all the time but also wanting to run as far away from her as possible and hide is really starting to give him whiplash.

**I always rise to a challenge Hudson ;)**

**Looks like we have something in common then. I'll talk to Puck soon and get it all lined up.**

He closes his eyes as he waits for her response, hoping she'll end the conversation because he's not sure he can make himself no matter how much he knows he should.

**That sounds fantastic Finn, thank you** **for doing this for me. You're a wonderful friend.**

"Friend," he grunts. "Right."

**Any excuse for a party right? Get some sleep Rach**

**Sweet Dreams Finn :)**

He told Kurt he could handle being her friend, that he knew what he was doing. As he closes his eyes and finds himself hoping for sweet dreams about Rachel, he realizes he's never been more unsure of what he's doing in his life.

* * *

><p>Rachel drums her fingers against her vanity as she stares at Finn's message. She's in her dressing room, killing a little time before she has to go to makeup and if she's being honest, she's a little miffed by this message Finn's sent her. She begins typing out a response to him but quickly deletes it, deciding she should just call him instead. She realizes this decision is based partly (or mostly) on her desire to hear his voice again for the first time since Saturday, and hopefully his laugh, but she refuses to dwell on that as she quickly dials the numbers she may or may not have memorized off his business card.<p>

She smiles immediately when she hears his voice, the warmth she's quickly associating with her new friend enveloping her as she closes her eyes for a second and allows herself to just enjoy the feeling. She snaps out of it when Finn says hello again, quickly giggling in his ear and letting him know it's her.

"Hey Rach!" He replies happily, "To what do I owe the pleasure of hearing from you on this rainy Tuesday afternoon?"

"I just wanted to say hi, see how your days going? I have some time before I have to head into makeup."

"You're lucky you know, this weather sucks," he chuckles.

"So I've been told," she teases. "You've been out a lot today?"

"Naw not too bad, just running around to meetings trying to finish up this deal for Puck. We're getting down to the wire now."

"That's exciting!" She smiles, genuine excitement for Finn radiating in her voice. "Are things going in your favor?"

"Seems that way. Just have to get everyone to sign on the dotted line."

"That's fantastic Finn! I'm sure you're excited to have your friend near by again."

"I am," he agrees, adding awkwardly, "A-and for you too I guess. Maybe you'll get to know your, uhm your brother in-law."

"Yeah," she nods, feeling silly when she realizes he can't see her. "Speaking of, what is this in your message? Bring hot friends? Party not happening if Kitty doesn't come?"

She can't explain the way she feels when his hearty laugh rings through the phone, it's like warm sand on her bare feet, waves crashing as the wind whips through her hair and she wishes she could catch this feeling in a bottle and keep it with her all the time. She wants to make him laugh again and again.

"I hate to break it to you, but that's classic Puck. He's kind of a, well..." he pauses, trying to find the right word.

"Ladies man?" She offers.

He laughs again, Rachel grinning triumphantly as he continues, "Well I was gonna say man whore, but ladies man sounds nicer probably."

"So you want me to bring my friends along to hook them up with a man whore?" She laughs.

"He doesn't pretend to be something he's not. With Puck, what you see is what you get. If they decide to hook up with him, that's on them. He's really just interested in Kitty though."

"I can't imagine why," she grumbles to herself, picking at her fingernails.

"What do you mean?"

"She's an awful person. She's the furthest thing from my friend," Rachel explains, taking a deep breath, "but I'll see what I can do."

"Kitty _was_ kinda a priority on Puck's party list," Finn teases.

"I said I'll see!" She yelps playfully, "So what about you Finn?"

"What about me Rachel?"

"Do you partake in the man whore-ish ways of your best friend?" She bites her lip after she asks, not sure she wants to know the answer, but being driven absolutely crazy by the thought of Finn picking up girls. He's definitely attractive enough to behave in such a way and she imagines the duo of he and Puck could do quite a bit of damage.

"No, I wouldn't say that," he says slowly, her stomach twisting painfully with irrational jealousy at the fact he isn't vehemently denying the label. "Maybe when I was younger I took advantage of the opportunities my career and connections provide me, but that lifestyle doesn't interest me much anymore."

"Oh?" She asks weakly.

"I dunno, I just work better in a relationship. I'm much more interested in just being with the right one and being happy. Is that stupid?"

"No Finn, that's not stupid at all," Rachel assures him softly, the silence that follows making her thoughts run away from her a bit. "And is that your girlfriend?" She blurts out suddenly, "Does she make you happy?"

She has no idea why she asks this question, it's literally like words are just jumping out of her mouth without her permission at this point. The state of Finn's love life should be of absolutely no concern to her given her own, but that does nothing to stop the way her heart hammers wildly in her chest as she waits for his reply.

"Rachel," he chuckles softly, "What're you-"

"BERRY!" Kitty's shriek sounds loudly from the other side of her dressing room door, accompanied by several aggressive knocks. "Make up chair now! We're behind schedule!"

"Oh Finn, I'm sorry! I lost track of time! I have to go!" Rachel cries, hopping up from her chair and heading towards her door.

"No worries Rach, break a leg tonight okay?"

"Thanks Finn, I'll talk to you soon," she smiles.

"Sounds good. Oh and hey?"

"Yes?"

"I don't...uhm, I don't have a girlfriend. Just so you know."

She's fairly certain a smile has never hurt her face more, the heat that flushes over her making her wobble on her feet a bit before she finally manages to tell Finn goodnight.

"Please stop smiling at me like that, you're grossing me out," Kitty quips. Before Rachel can open her mouth to respond Kitty holds her hand up, "Please spare me the details of the surely repulsive sexts your black Jew must have sent you to plaster that God awful smile on your face. We have work to do."

She starts walking, leaving a stunned Rachel behind her to quickly snap out of it and jog forward to catch up.

"I wasn't sext- you know what, never mind," Rachel back tracks, knowing Kitty doesn't really want an explanation anyhow. "I was actually wondering if you have plans Saturday night after the show?"

"Where you're concerned Berry, I always have plans. Always." Kitty responds flatly.

"No not for me, but your attendance has been specially requested, again _not by me_," she adds hastily when Kitty shoots her a doubtful glance.

"Just get to the point," Kitty demands, crossing her arms over her chest as she turns to face Rachel.

"Noah Puckerman is throwing a party Saturday night and for some logic defying reason he wants you there."

Kitty watches her for a minute, obviously deciding if she should buy this story or not before sighing, "Not good enough Berry."

"Kitty wait!" Rachel cries, reaching out for the blondes arm. "A little birdy told me all about your life long dream of being a professional cheerleader-"

"Who told you that?" Kitty hisses, interrupting her mid sentence.

"That's neither here nor there Kitty," Rachel smiles, relieved that she clearly possesses the upper hand in the conversation finally. "All I'm saying is can you imagine the connections he must have? The power of being _the_ Noah Puckerman? He's literally s_econds_ away from signing on to the Jets."

Rachel has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from squealing as she watches the emotions flash in Kitty's eyes. The cheerleader card was a total shot in the dark, who knew that was really Kitty's dream?

"Okay fine!" Kitty huffs, "Text me the details."

"I'll be sure to do that," Rachel grins, giddy with excitement.

"This doesn't mean we're friends, you know that right?"

"Of course," Rachel agrees easily, pulling out her phone to send one last message to Finn before she hops into the makeup chair.

**Kitty's in. Told you I always rise to a challenge ;)**

* * *

><p>Finn can't remember the last time he was this nervous for a party. He's spent the last thirty minutes standing in Puck's bathroom trying to make sure his hair's perfect and he just can't get it right. He knows it's crazy but Rachel's <em>husband<em> is going to be there, standing in the same room as him, and he just really wants to look his best. You know, just in case Rachel decides to compare them, not that he's hoping for that or anything.

Puck's been ready for hours, having simply showered and thrown on some clothes after they got back from the liquor store, but Finn can't make himself stop. Can't stop fixing his collar, or re-doing his hair or un-tucking his shirt and then re-tucking it in again. How should he wear he it? He has no fucking clue! Where's Kurt when you need him?

He wishes there were more errands for him to run, something to keep him occupied, but they're more than stocked on everything. He even made sure to have a special selection of pink drinks for Rachel that he bought specifically with her in mind. He just wants her to have a good time and he doesn't think there's anything wrong with that, despite the looks Puck kept shooting him as he separated it all out on the kitchen counter.

"Are you growing a fucking vagina in here or what?" Puck grunts, pushing his way past Finn to get into his bathroom.

"Fuck off," Finn huffs, deciding there's nothing left he can do to his hair right now that'll make it look any different.

"What's up your ass? You're my bro but I'm out if you start having monthly visits from Aunt Flo," Puck quips, not giving Finn a chance to respond. "You're nervous because your girlfriends bringing her husband tonight, huh?"

"Seriously dude, fuck off," Finn grumbles, shooting him the bird over his shoulder as he turns and heads out into the living room. "That's your brother you know."

"That's _maybe_ my brother," Puck corrects, following behind him. "I dont give two shits about that dude, I'm doing this for the tight little asses you promised me would be here tonight."

Finn chuckles a little as he shakes his head at his friend. He wouldn't exactly be lying if he said he didn't want Puck to get along that well with Jake. This dude's already got Rachel, he doesn't really need him swooping in here and taking his best friend too. Can't he have something for himself?

He does realize though that Puck and Jake becoming friends would most likely offer him more opportunities to see Rachel...he wonders if after tonight she'll still be contacting him? Does she really want to be his friend or has she just been using him for his connection to Puck? His gut tells him she's not going anywhere, he knows he's not making up this thing between them, _whatever the hell it is_, but his head's having quite the party of its own telling him fat chance.

He continues to stew over the future of his friendship with Rachel as the night progresses and more people continue to show up. He knows it will be late when she finally arrives, her having to come after her show, but he's not sure how much longer he can actually wait before his nerves fry completely.

He recognizes Kitty immediately when she shows up with a couple other girls, Puck making a bee line for them the second he notices their arrival. He knows Kitty's not in the actual production with Rachel, but her being here has to mean Rachel can't be too far behind. That thought both excites and terrifies him, so he busies himself by mixing another drink as he waits ever so impatiently. He mingles a little, nodding politely to friends and brushing off advances from more than one football groupie as he makes his way through the growing crowd. It's not even midnight yet and it's already getting ridiculous in there, he really hopes Rachel's not overwhelmed, he has a feeling what she had in mind was more like a dinner party.

A crash from the other side of the room makes Finn whip his head in that direction, the commotion quickly forgotten as he catches sight of the couple making their way through the door. _It's them_. He doesn't know how to feel, a little like he might cry and a little like he might throw up, but he really hopes he doesn't do either as his eyes stay glued to Rachel.

She's _gorgeous_. It registers to Finn that he's only ever seen her in person casually or as Elphaba and to say he was not prepared for the sight in front of him would be a massive understatement. Her short, tight black dress accentuates her tiny figure and he swears her legs go on for miles, which kinda boggles his mind. He gets distracted as he finds himself studying her legs, how tan and shiny they are and he feels a rush of anger pulse through him that some other man gets to feel just how soft they are whenever he wants.

Finn's never wanted anyone the way he wants her.

He forces himself to look at something, _anything_, besides her legs, his eyes making a slow trek back up to her face where he finds her looking back at him. Sweat beads break out across the back of his neck as they hold each other's gaze across the room, neither making a move to look away.

He's reminded instantly of where they are when some random guy bumps into him, knocking him off balance a bit. Reality suddenly crashes back into him; he hears the booming music again, the sounds of drunken people talking and laughing and when he looks back up he sees Jake, heading directly towards him with Rachel on his arm.

He's more good looking than Finn had hoped, though he realizes it was probably pretty stupid of him to think she'd be with someone ugly in the first place. _Look at her._ He's well built, obviously in shape and Finn has to stop himself from frowning as they approach him. He had really been hoping for a tiny dude, Rachel's height even, pasty skin, maybe with a Jew fro and while he still has one or two inches on this kid, he's a pretty solid competitor...if this were in any way a competition.

Finn doesn't really know what to do with his eyes, or his hands, once they're in front of him, Rachel smiling softly at him in what he knows is understanding as she reaches out and places her hand gently on his arm. Her eyes shoot up to his for second, her mouth forming a small "o" as she sucks in a sharp breath, the same electricity passing between them that's happened every time they've touched. She holds his gaze only for a moment before she looks quickly over to her husband, clearing her throat and shaking her head to rid herself of the feeling enough to introduce the two.

"Jake this is Puck's agent and life long best friend, Finn Hudson. Finn, this is my husband, Jake Puckerman."

Rachel's unable to look Finn in the eye as she calls Jake her husband and Finn can't help but wonder if she's drowning in the same sick feeling he is. Jake seems unaware of the unspoken happenings between his wife and this stranger, eagerly sticking his hand out and smiling wide.

"Nice to meet you Finn, thanks for helping put this together."

"No worries bro," Finn nods, grasping Jake's hand in a firm hand shake. "I'm sorry, I'm sure this is not what you two had in mind, but this is usually what happens when word gets out about a Noah Puckerman party."

"Naw it's cool," Jake grins. "Never been to a professional athletes party before."

Finn doesn't respond, simply taking a sip of his drink and darting his eyes back to Rachel, whose smokey brown orbs haven't left his since Jake started talking. This "friendship" is going to kill him, he's sure of it.

"Speaking of, where is Puck?" Rachel asks, finally peeling her eyes off of Finn as she looks around. "Is Kitty here? She and a couple of the girls from the show were supposed to come."

"Oh yeah they're here," Finn chuckles, pointing to the couch where Puck is surrounded by women, Kitty perched in his lap.

"Oh God, gross," Rachel groans, covering her eyes with her hands.

"How about a drink before we go over there?" Finn chuckles, shoulders tensing when Jake speaks up again.

"Actually, can you point me in the direction of the bathroom?" Jake asks, squeezing the hand he has wrapped around Rachel's waist.

Finn's eyes zero in on the action, but he swallows down the resulting nausea that washes over him and points Jake in the direction of the hallway bathroom.

"You gonna be alright babe?" Jake asks Rachel.

"Of course, I'm just going to grab a drink with Finn," Rachel nods, grinning unintentionally as she says Finn's name.

Her eyes meet his again as soon as Jake turns around, a shy smile playing on her lips as they simply look at each other for a minute.

"You look beautiful tonight Rach," Finn leans in and tells her softly, wanting her to hear him over the music but no one else. Her scent alone leaves him feeling more intoxicated than the liquor in his hand and he wants to just lose himself in her.

"Thank you Finn," she blushes. "You look beautiful as well."

"I do?" He laughs, heart swelling at the embarrassed giggle that flows from her mouth like music.

"That's not exactly what I meant to say," she laughs, shaking her head. They share an amused chuckle until their eyes meet again and she shrugs, "I was going to say handsome, but beautiful works too."

Finn's tongue darts out quickly to lick his lips, his mouth suddenly unbearably dry as he watches the doe eyed beauty in front of him watch him with what he can only describe as desire, her look doing nothing to weaken the desire surely burning in his own eyes. He needs another drink and he's sure Jake will be confused if he returns from the bathroom to find a drink-less Rachel just staring at the man he's just met.

"C'mere, I have something to show you," Finn grins, placing his hand on the small of her back and leading her towards the kitchen. He allows himself to revel in the feeling of her moving under his palm, however small the moment may be. It's probably all he'll ever get to feel of her and he'll take every last second of it that he can get.

He smiles proudly when he stops her in front of the selection of pink drinks, her mouth falling open as she squeals in delight. "They're all pink!" She giggles, clapping a little in excitement as she looks at Finn. "Finn, did you do this?"

"I did," he winks. "You think there's something here you'll like?"

"Yeah, I do," she grins playfully, looking up at Finn through her dark lashes.

He wants to kiss her and if this were any other time or place or situation he'd have her backed against the counter right now, begging for him to get her out of here and he swears it takes him a solid minute to convince himself against doing it anyway. She's really not doing much to help this growing infatuation of his and he can't help but think she knows it.

"Let's see what we can find you then," he replies softly, smirking as he notices a visible change in her breathing.

"Okay," she agrees, turning with Finn to survey the selection. She seems to find her breath again when her eyes land on the mini, individual sized bottles of pink champagne Finn has chilling in a bucket of ice. "Oh my God, Finn these are cutest things ever!" She squeals.

"I had a feeling that's what you'd say," he chuckles. "So now you have a tough decision on your hands, y'know?"

"I do?" She asks, biting her lip as she looks up at him hesitantly.

"Yeah," he nods seriously, bending down a little to be closer to her face. "It's time, Rach. It's time to decide."

"O-okay," she mouths, voice barely a whisper.

He holds his face inches from hers for a beat, eyes dropping down to her lips before sitting up quickly and holding up a champagne flute and a pink striped straw. "Are you gonna pour that in a glass or drink it straight from the bottle?"

Her eyes go wide as she stares at him, silent until a loud laugh erupts from her throat and she throws her head back, shoulders shaking. Finn can't help but laugh along with her contagious chuckle, loving the way her eyes scrunch closed and her lips curl up as the joyous sound envelopes them in their own little world.

"I think I'll take the straw," she giggles, beaming at Finn as he hands her a bottle with a straw sticking out of the top. "It just seems right."

"I agree," he smiles, forcing the smile to stay in place as Jake rejoins them and throws his left arm over Rachel's shoulders.

"What's so funny?" He asks, frowning when he sees what Rachel's holding. "Don't you want a glass babe?"

"No, I like it like this," she insists, taking a sip that sends all kind of inappropriate thoughts racing through Finn's head as her plump lips wrap around the straw.

He has to get himself out of this situation and around more people. He can't handle being alone with the two of them like this, it's way too uncomfortable.

"You guys wanna go say hi to Puck?" Finn asks, nodding back towards the couch. "It is the reason we're all here right?"

His eyes dart to Rachel at his question, the way she's looking back at him reinforcing his hunch that Puck's _not_ the only reason she wanted to come tonight. He raises an eyebrow at her in silent question just as Jake answers, "Yes indeed, let's get to it."

Finn smirks at Rachel before turning and leading the way, pushing through the drunken crowd to the couch where Puck is still surrounded by eager women.

"Hey douche, get up," Finn calls, Kitty's head snapping up and glaring at them as Puck pushes her off his lap. "You remember Rachel right?"

"Of course," Puck winks, taking her hand in greeting as he eyes her up and down. "Even hotter without the green paint. I approve."

"Puck," Finn hisses, nodding towards the man standing next to Rachel when Puck looks his way.

"Noah Puckerman, always a pleasure," Rachel greets him sarcastically, turning towards her husband. "I want you to meet my husband, Jake Puckerman."

Puck stands still for a minute as he looks Jake up and down and Finn knows he's trying to decide if they look alike. He nods his head to himself slightly before reaching his hand out, "Nice to meet you. I guess we have some things to talk about."

"I guess we do, if you're up for it?" Jake agrees, smiling in relief when Puck gestures for them to join him on the couch. Jake takes Rachel's hand and pulls him beside her, Finn deciding immediately he doesn't really want to sit there and witness this new brotherly bonding that's about to happen.

"Finn!" Rachel calls, pointing to the seat next to her, "Come sit!"

He looks over at Puck and Jake talking, notices the way Jake has his arm draped over Rachel's legs and he knows more than anything in that moment that he needs to get away for a second and get some fresh air.

"I'm good," Finn insists. "I'll catch up with you later."

Her brow furrows in disappointment as he takes a step back, the feeling of her eyes on him following him the entire walk back to the kitchen. Once inside the safety the kitchen walls provide, he blows out a deep breath, grunting loudly in frustration. He's thankful the people around him are most likely way too drunk to notice, or to care.

He pours himself another drink, slamming it back immediately before pouring one more and slipping unseen out the front door. He makes his way silently to the sidewalk, breathing in the night air and trying his best to calm himself down as he takes a seat on the curb. How did he get here? Just the other day he was living his life like normal and then one freaking Broadway show (_Broadway_, of all things!) turned his world completely upside down.

He's got it bad. He's got it _so_ bad for a married woman whose husband wants to steal his brother away from him! Okay, wait, that's not right but whatever, the whole thing is fucked up no matter how you say it.

He's not sure how long he sits alone on the curb, stewing over his predicament but his cup is empty when he finally stands, tossing it in the sidewalk trash can as he makes his way slowly back up to Puck's. The crowd has thinned out since he left, he even notices a few people passed out as he makes his way through the living room, but he doesn't see Rachel, Puck or Jake anywhere.

He decides he may as well go back to the kitchen, he's not really interested in talking to any of these other people and one more drink surely couldn't hurt anything. He stills immediately when he rounds the corner and finds Rachel at the counter looking over the collection of pink drinks. She's alone and he takes a second to appreciate her figure from behind before he smiles, thankful for another chance to talk to her without anyone else around.

"Hey," he calls softly, Rachel spinning around quickly and beaming at him as he approaches her.

"Where've you been?" She asks, "I thought you left!"

"I just went outside to get some fresh air," he explains. "What're you doing in here all alone?"

"I couldn't find you so I figured the company of one of these delicious beverages would have to hold me over until I did."

He stops walking when he's standing directly beside her, probably closer than he should be but she doesn't take a step back so neither does he.

"Where's the Puckermen?" He jokes weakly, bumping her hips with his own.

"Somewhere," she laughs. "You missed a pretty epic shot contest. It's safe to say they're probably both trashed now."

"So I take it they're doing some brotherly bonding?"

"Something like that," she shrugs. "I think they went to go look at pictures or something in the other room. We should probably check on them in a minute to make sure they're not passed out."

"Yeah probably," he agrees, smiling at her as she smiles up at him. "What?"

"Nothing," she shrugs, bumping his hips in return. "You want a drink? You remember what happened last time don't you?"

His heart rate picks up a little as he remembers _exactly_ what happened last time, her giving him a drink, her hand on his face...

"Remind me," he teases, loving the way her cheeks stain red as she grabs a bottle of champagne and holds it up for him.

"You loved the way my pink drink tasted, remember?" She winks, sticking her tongue out playfully at him as he chuckles loudly and takes a deep sip from the bottle she offers.

"Mmm you're right again. It is pretty good," he smiles. "It's bubbly, like a party in my mouth."

"I'm always right, haven't you heard?" she grins, turning to push herself up on the counter in front of him.

"You okay?" He asks.

"Yes, my feet just hurt. It's kinda been a long day."

"You guys could just crash here you know. Puck has plenty of room."

"I can see that," she agrees. "This place is rather impressive. But we'll see."

"How was the show tonight?" He asks, pushing back the thoughts of Rachel spending the night in the same apartment as him and what kind of trouble that could get him into.

"Tiring," she sighs, her bottom lip pushing out into a little pout that Finn wants so desperately to just kiss right off her face. He instead looks at her with questioning eyes, another large sigh escaping her mouth before she explains, "I want to do more."

"What do you mean?" He quirks his head to the side, his feet carrying him as close to the counter she's perched on as space will allow. She has one leg crossed over the other, a dangerous amount of naked thigh showing and he literally has to grasp onto the counter ledge on either side of her to keep himself from reaching out and running his fingers along the toned muscles. He recognizes this is not an appropriate way for two friends to hang out in a kitchen together, but all he can think about is getting as close to her as he possibly can.

"I've been on stage for years," she explains, bringing his attention back to her face. "I've played some of my dream roles and now I'm just..._ugh_ would I sound like a spoiled brat if I said I was bored?"

"Not at all," Finn assures her.

"I want to make records and movies and just explore different artistic ventures, you know?"

Finn's easily hypnotized by the passion and excitement that lights up her face as she continues to describe to him some of the things she wants to try and do instead of the same show over and over again night after night. His heart pounds wildly as her excitement grows and _God_ he wants to be apart of this so badly. He wants to be a part of everything she does, everything she touches.

"That's crazy right?" She asks shyly, "You think I'm crazy?"

She bites down on her bottom lip as she waits for his answer, the action causing Finn to dart his tongue out and wet his own lips as he studies her bright white teeth piercing the pink flesh beneath them. He finally peels his eyes away to look back up at her, smiling sincerely as he tells her, "No way Rach. You're _amazing_. Like seriously, you're the most talented person I've ever met. You could do anything."

"You really think so?" She whispers.

"I know so," he emphasizes. "The sky's the limit for you Rachel."

She smiles at him as he speaks, the genuine happiness in her eyes taking his breath away and he tries his hardest to convey how much he believes what he says to her through his own expression.

"So what's stopping you?" He asks, sensing her hesitation despite her smile.

Her smile fades a little as she looks down at the counter and shrugs, "I don't have...uhm, well I guess I lack support."

"Jake doesn't think it's a good idea?" He frowns, trying his hardest to disguise his growing distaste for the man but probably failing miserably.

"Something like that," she nods, keeping her eyes on the counter until she slowly looks back up at Finn. They stay like that, looking into each other's eyes and Finn wonders how anyone could possibly attempt to contain the super nova that is Rachel Berry. Why would anyone _want_ to? She's a star if Finn's ever seen one and he wants her to shine as bright as she can. He wants to see her do that, _all of it_.

"Are you happy Rachel?" he asks softly, the world around them completely forgotten as her gaze never waivers from his.

"What do you mean?"

"With Jake? Are you happy with him?" He asks again.

She doesn't blink, doesn't make any movement at all until her eyes fall, sucking in her bottom lip before blowing out a shaky breath. "I was," she whispers, looking back up. "Or at least, I thought I was..."

"What changed?" Finn whispers just as quietly.

He expects her to change the subject, make a joke, anything but what she actually does which is soften her gaze as she tells him, "I have a feeling you already know the answer to that."

He wonders if she can actually see his heart pounding out of his chest, if hers is beating anywhere near as aggressively as his as he refuses to say the words he wants so desperately for her to say for him. "Do I?"

She opens her mouth to say something, stopping herself as she drops her head and laughs softly. Finn's stomach flip flops spastically in time with his heart beat when she looks back at him and smiles, "Hmmm, you're trouble Finn Hudson."

He lets out the breath he didn't realize he was holding, escaping in a puff of amused laughter as he smirks at her affectionately. "That's funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you."

She smiles back at him, giggling as she reaches out and tugs on his shirt playfully. Both of their smiles fading as she leaves her hands resting against his torso, her fingers grabbing a handful of the soft fabric as she seems to pull him closer to her. He reacts without thinking, the intoxicating combination of her scent and laughter and unyielding pull taking over all rational thought as he leans forward and does what he's been dying to do since the moment he met her.

He's still as her soft lips press close against his own, neither daring to move as they close their eyes and try keep the overwhelming sensations shooting throughout their bodies from taking them over completely. She pulls back slowly, Finn's heart sinking because he knows he shouldn't have just kissed her and that she's probably seconds from running away from him.

She surprises him again though, his eyes flying open when he hears his name fall from her lips, her voice husky and needy and he's never, never heard anything as sexy in his life as Rachel Berry saying his name.

He's unsure of what to do, needing no further time to figure it out as she reaches out for him and slams his mouth back against hers in a frenzied kiss. It's hungry and passionate, the moan she transfers from her mouth to his enough to bring him to his knees and worship her like the goddess she is. He weaves his hands through her silky hair, hoping the strong locks wrapping around his fingers will help keep him standing in place as she shifts suddenly, uncrossing her legs and opening them just wide enough for Finn to stand between them, bringing them closer together.

He finds it hard to believe this is actually happening, Rachel's tongue in his mouth so beyond anything he's ever felt before and he groans her name between heated kisses because he _needs_ her to know how badly he wants her, _all of her_. She squeezes her thighs around him in response, triggering his desire to feel them against his hands and he could literally cry from the excitement of all of this if he wasn't so completely overwhelmed by the mind numbing sensations reverberating throughout his entire body from being connected to Rachel in this way.

If just a touch from her is electric, kissing her is downright explosive.

He tugs on her hair one last time, kissing her hard and deep before dropping his hands to her legs and caressing his rough palms over her delicate skin. She moans in appreciation as he kneads the muscles between his hands, everything about her making him so painfully hard and making him question how much longer he can keep this up before he can't stop himself from taking things further.

He bites down on her lower lip softly, teasing her as he pulls away and drops his mouth to her neck, licking and sucking on her sweet skin as the little breaths and moans falling from her swollen lips spur him on. She sucks in a sharp breath when he kisses just below her ear, Finn taking that as a sign to keep going when suddenly something crashes in the other room and hysterical laughter filters in from the hallway.

"Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made it out of clay! Your turn brother!"

"Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, with dreidel I will play!"

Rachel shoots back from Finn immediately, her round eyes frantic as her chest heaves up and down. They remain motionless as they listen to the obviously extremely intoxicated voices of Puck and Jake mixed with several girls laughing and singing in the living room.

"_Oh my God_," Rachel breathes, struggling to catch her breath as she looks to Finn for help.

He wants to say something, he knows he should, but he's frozen still as the gravity of what they just did weighs down on his shoulders, pulling him down like quicksand. She licks her lips, pushing herself down off the counter and pulling her skirt back to an appropriate length as she silently heads towards the drunken voices. Finn drops his hands to the counter, hanging his head as he struggles to catch his breath and allows his mind and heart time to catch up with what just happened. This is bad and he knows it. Really, _really_ fucking good, but so, _so_ bad.

He waits until he has himself under control better, taking a deep breath as he heads into the living room. His eyes go wide as he takes in the scene, both Jake and Puck standing there shirtless, showing off brand new matching Star of David tattoos on their shoulders.

_The fuck?_ They went to a tattoo parlor? He thought they were in the other room!

"FINNESSA!" Puck shouts, holding his arms up and stumbling over his feet, sending him into another drunken fit of hysterics.

"What the hell happened to you man?" Finn asks, walking slowly towards him.

"I got drunk with my brother annnnnd..." Puck stops looking around in confusion before he starts laughing. "What was I saying?"

"We got tatted up!" Jake slurs, throwing his arm around Rachel to steady himself.

Finn's eyes dart over to Rachel and he immediately notices the way her hands are shaking slightly. The sight makes his heart constrict painfully and the way she looks away from him as soon as he catches her eye is like another devastating blow.

"I have two brothers now Finn!" Puck shouts, holding up three fingers. "Two! You and Jake which makes you two brothers now! Kiss!"

"Brothers don't kiss asshole," Finn mumbles, trying to get Puck to sit down. He did not drink enough tonight to be dealing with any of this. "And you're holding up three fingers."

"Wait, wait Finn you'll like this. BABY!" Puck looks around wildly, grinning when he spots Kitty and popping her on the ass. "Do the thing!"

Kitty laughs, obviously just as drunk as the men, grabbing the hand of the relatively quiet Asian girl and dragging her over to hug Jake.

"Look Finn! It's PUCKERTITTY!" Puck blurts out, wrapping his arms around his waist as he bends over in laughter. "Get it?"

"No," Finn sighs, the sickness churning inside him making it hard for him to care about anything as Rachel continually avoids his gaze.

"It's Puckerman, Tina and Kitty! PUCKERTITTY! They should have a three way!"

"He's married dude," Finn grumbles, looking to Jake whose ripped six pack makes him seethe with jealousy as he cracks up at Puck's words.

"Don't worry babe, you know I'm yours," Jake tries to whisper to his wife, but instead ends up shouting in Rachel's face.

"Okay Jake, why don't we get you home," Rachel says softly, attempting to pull his shirt back over his head.

"You're so hot babe," Jake slurs, tripping and landing on his butt on the floor, but continuing his thought as if it never happened. "Puck, look at my girl. Isn't she hot?"

"Hell yeah," Puck agrees, Finn's hands clenching into fists at his sides as both Rachel's husband and her apparent brother in-law make her obviously uncomfortable.

"Get up Jake," she begs, hands shaking as she tries in vain to pull him up.

"Let me help," Finn says gently, grabbing Jake's hand and easily yanking him up.

"Where's _your_ girl Finn?" Jake asks, his alcohol laced breath blowing in Finn's face and making him grimace.

"I don't have a girl," Finn answers flatly.

"S'cause he's a pussy," Puck interjects. "His right hand's his girl."

"Yoooooo," Jake hiccups in amusement, giggling like a school girl as he looks to Finn.

"Used to be my wing man!" Puck yells, looking down sadly at his untied shoes. "I'm wingless."

"I'm your wings! Let's pick up chicks!" Jake shouts, pouting suddenly as he buries his face in Rachel's hair, "I'm tired babe."

"You're drunk," Rachel sneers, teeth clenched as she tries to get him to stand up straight. "Let's go home."

"Rachel, you need help," Finn tells her, trying to help her get Jake to the door.

"I've got it Finn," she snaps, her tone stinging like a slap to the face.

"I'm just trying to help," he explains, grabbing her arm and willing her to look at him. His heart sinks when she does, her beautiful brown eyes swimming in unshed tears as her lower lip trembles wildly.

"Please Finn," she whispers. "Just...I've got it."

Finn steps back as his heart sinks from the conflict written all over her face. He watches as she shakes on her feet, hands trembling as she finally gets Jake to the front door. She closes her eyes for a minute, visibly swallowing before turning to Puck, "Thanks for having us Puck."

Her eyes move behind Puck to Finn, the room swaying around him as her heartbreaking gaze penetrates him to the core. He doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know what to do...and as the door closes behind her after she finally looks away and gets Jake into the hallway, he doesn't know what the hell he just let happen.

* * *

><p><strong>We'll see inside Rachel's head more next chapter!<strong>

**Credit of course for Puckertitty to the lovely Jenna Ushkowitz :)**

**And YES a Family Business update is coming! I'm so sorry if you're reading that one as well!**


	4. In Too Deep

**Hey guys! Thanks for being so patient with this update, I hope it's worth the wait! You guys have been giving me some awesome love on this!**

**Opening quote and chapter title from "Contagious" by Trapt. Seriously guys, it's the perfect song for Finn in this story. So many ideas for this fic have happened while listening to this song!**

* * *

><p><em>"I let you in, I let you in I and you infected me<em>

_Can't get enough of you, Can't get enough of you_

_I breathed you in, I breathed you in and now I'm in too deep_

_Don't think I'm pulling through_

_Can't get enough of you_

_You're so contagious and now I know for sure there is no cure"_

Rachel squeezes her eyes shut the second her apartment door closes behind her, wiping frantically at her cheeks to erase the brave tears that somehow managed to escape during her journey home. She's not sure why she's working so hard to pretend she's not crying, she's literally never seen Jake this drunk before. She could probably break down in sobs right here in front of him, confess that she just kissed another man and Jake would have no memory of it in the morning. She's so mad at him for getting so sloppy tonight she could just scream! She didn't know introducing him to Noah Puckerman was going to turn him _into_ Noah Puckerman!

She clasps her hands together in front of her, desperately trying to keep them from shaking as she watches her husband stumble around aimlessly, mumbling incoherent phrases laced with random bursts of song. She knows he's seconds from passing out and while she's hoping he finds his way to bed on his own, she knows guiding him will get him there faster. She kicks her shoes off, tossing them to the side with her phone and keys in a very uncharacteristic manner, preparing herself for one last dose of inebriated Jake before she can get some peace and quiet to sort out her thoughts.

"Come on Jake, let's get you to bed," Rachel sighs, placing her hand on his back to turn him in the direction of their bedroom.

"AreyoutrynagetinmypantsMsPuckerman?" Jake chuckles, his words slurring together and coming out in a jumbled mess.

"No. I can assure you, I am not," her voice cold as she pulls him slowly by the arm.

"C'mon babe," he grins, surprising Rachel when he leans down and places a sloppy kiss against her stunned lips. She freezes, a wave of nausea crashing through her as his hands drop down to her waist. Until moments ago she could still taste Finn, could still feel him on her lips and now it's gone! Jake is stealing it from her with his messy, drunken kisses and it infuriates her!

A fresh batch of tears rush to her lash line, guilt pulsating inside of her because she knows how backwards and wrong her emotions are right now but she can't control them, much less handle their intensity.

"Jake, Jake please," Rachel begs, pushing him off of her. He stands there for a minute pouting at her before he leans forward and kisses her again. "I'm so sleepy," he mumbles against her lips.

"I know," Rachel grumbles, pushing him away slightly and using the back of her hand to wipe away the moisture left behind on her face from her husband's drunken kisses. "_Please_, let's go to bed."

Jake nods in agreement, allowing her to guide him to the bedroom where he promptly falls face forward on the bed and begins snoring loudly. She takes no time to think about it, to think about anything at the moment, simply slipping his shoes and socks off and flipping the side of the comforter he's not currently laying on over him so he doesn't get cold.

Once he's covered she slips into the bathroom, stripping her clothes and jewelry and hopping into the shower, eager for the warm solace it provides. For the first time since Finn walked into the kitchen and found her she's able to simply close her eyes and breathe...and so she does, over and over again, in and out, in and out as one by one hot tears begin sliding down her cheeks. Once she feels the first one fall she knows she's doomed; they start falling faster and faster until she's sliding down the slick shower wall, wrapping her arms around her legs as she buries her face beween her knees and sobs.

The sobs come in waves, one after another and each one stronger than the last. A sob for her betrayal, a sob for her now tarnished marriage, a sob for the mess she's drug Finn into, each one stealing her breath a little more as she trembles desperately on the shower floor.

She cries for what she's done to Jake, for what she's doing to Finn, but that's not what she cries for the hardest. No, the thing that hurts most of all, above everything else, the thing that rocks her body to its very core is not what she's done to them, but what she's done to herself. More than she feels guilty or scared about what happens now, she feels desire like she's never experienced. _Forbidden_ desire. She's felt a connection with Finn since the moment she first laid eyes on him, has fought (not very successfully she can admit) a constant need to be around him or speak to him and now? Now that she knows what it feels like to have his lips and hands on her skin...she fears there's no going back. She wants more of him and that desire overpowers every other emotion swirling inside her body.

She forces herself to breathe again, in and out, over and over again as she keeps her eyes squeezed shut and allows her mind to wander back to Finn's kiss. She feels her body still finally as the combination of her breathing, the hot water pounding down on her and her thoughts of Finn slowly calm her frayed nerves.

She was surprised when he kissed her. Yes they were close and much too flirtatious she realizes now in hindsight and she _wanted_ him to, but the shock of the actual action stole her ability to have any coherent thought. She'd pulled back, usure if she should let it continue, but the way her lips tingled as they parted and Finn's turned down into a slight pout had her body acting on instinct. She's kissed several men in her lifetime, on stage and otherwise, but not one of them, even Jake, have ever come close to the feelings Finn Hudson was able produce inside of her in a matter of seconds.

How did he know just how to kiss her? To touch her? He was aggressive enough to excite her, but not enough to scare her and her thighs are _still_ tingling from where his large hands explored the exposed skin.

The simple memory of their kiss alone has her throbbing painfully between her legs and she wishes _so_ badly Finn were there with her as her fingers tease the skin below her belly button and she contemplates pretending that he is anyway.

Her breathing picks up as she imagines what could have happened next if they had not been interrupted, gasping loudly for the second time that night as the door crashes open and startles her back to reality. She slaps her hand over her mouth, absolutely feeling like she's just been caught with Finn as Jake stumbles his way to the toilet to relieve his bladder.

The glass of the shower walls are fogged enough to keep him from seeing her huddled in the corner, but she's practically panting for air as she waits for him to check on her and ask what she's doing. He doesn't though, stumbling his way back to bed and leaving Rachel stunned silent under the steamy spray.

It hits her then like a ton of bricks; like a million bricks falling down on her all at once. She wants Finn, it's a fact she can no longer pretend to ignore, but she can't live like this. Sneaking around and holding onto stolen moments? That isn't the life she wants. She's committed herself to Jake and she needs to remain that way. She has to talk to Finn.

What happened tonight can never happen again.

_She has to stop seeing him._

* * *

><p>Finn's not sure of much when he opens his eyes except that he completely regrets waking up. His head is pounding, his mouth painfully dry and he feels like he could down fifty gallons of water one after another and still be thirsty.<p>

_What the hell happened last night?_

He tries opening his eyes for a second time, slowly peeking through the haze of his blurred vision at his unfamiliar surroundings. He takes a deep breath and sits up, wincing as the room spins around him and his heart palpitates wildly. Once he's somewhat regained his bearings he chances another look, relieved when he finds he's still fully dressed and on Puck's couch. There's a few strangers passed out around him and a notably empty bottle of Crown in his lap. Oh yeah. _Now_ he remembers.

He groans as he covers his eyes, burying his face in his hands as images of him aggressivsly downing the liquor after Rachel drug her stupid drunk husband home last night flash in his head. Rachel. _God_ he remembers all of it. Her flirty eyes, the way she felt pressed against him, her lips on his.

_"I have a feeling you already know the answer to that."_

What the fuck kinda games is this woman trying to play with him? He knows he shouldn't have kissed her, but she definitely shouldn't have kissed him back.

Why couldn't he have drank away that memory?

He forces himself to push Rachel to the back of his mind, intent on getting himself feeling human again before he figures out what to do with this mess he's created. He stands slowly, wincing again as he tip toes his way to the kitchen, almost crying in relief when he opens the fridge to find an ice cold Gatorade staring back at him. He chugs it desperately, rifling through Puck's cabinets until he finds some aspirin and throws those back as well.

He makes his way to Puck's room, hesitantly peeking in but turning abruptly when he sees more than one pair of feet poking out from under the silky comforter. He wants to talk to him about last night, but not like this. It can wait. Instead he grabs his keys, heading outside and grabbing a cab to his place. He orders a pizza in the cab once he realizes it's almost noon, deciding the greasy pepperoni and gooey cheese are just what he needs to help kick this hangover.

He has just enough time to shower once he gets home before the pizza arrives, sitting down in front of it at his kitchen table in complete silence. Ordinarily he can't stand the silence, always needing to have the tv on or music going just to fill the space around him, but his thoughts are keeping him plenty occupied enough at the moment. Thoughts about Rachel.

He hopes she got home safe last night, hopes Jake wasn't too much trouble for her. He wonders if she's thinking about him right now too? Does she regret their kiss? Okay, it was more than just one kiss he realizes, but does she wish she could take it back? He wants to say he would, he knows that's the right thing to say, but he can't say that, not honestly at least. It was incredible, _life changing_ even, he doesn't want to take it back! He wants to do it over and over again as many times as she'll let him!

He never in a million years thought he would be here, wanting another man's wife, but he doesn't know how to control this. He's never felt anything like this before and he's pretty sure kissing her has ruined him for other women now...like, for forever. How will anyone else possibly compare?

It's not even like avoiding her is an option now if he wanted to though. Not now that Puck and Jake have fallen into some sick brotherly love with each other. He's going to be expected to hang out with Jake now too and he's just really not sure if he can handle that.

He has his own brother though, right? Maybe he'll just start hanging out with Kurt more, go to fashion shows and art galleries with him and Blaine. Sounds totally fun.

Totally.

_Ugh._

The fucking Jets. Why'd they have to take them to Wicked out of all the musicals to choose from in New York City?

He finishes his pizza eventually, kills some time around the house before he makes his way back to Puck's figuring it's been long enough now that the stragglers have probably woken and left and he can actually have a conversation with his friend.

He's right, mostly, finding Puck at the kitchen table with an unfamiliar brunette in his lap wearing only what appears to be one of Puck's shirts.

"Well look what we have here," Puck smirks, eyes dancing with laughter as he shoves a large fork full of pancake in his mouth.

"What happened to Kitty?" Finn asks, grabbing the chair across from Puck and sitting down.

"Who's Kitty? Will she be joining us?" The girl asks, giggling as she twirls a strand of hair around her finger.

Finn rolls his eyes and sighs heavily. He literally has no idea where Puck finds this constant stream of bimbos. It pisses him off a little when he finds himself wishing he still wanted to want this lifestyle...but he doesn't. Not even a little bit. There's only one woman he wants.

Shit would be a lot easier if he wanted chicks like the one in front of him.

"Naw," Puck grins mischievously. "She won't. Why don't you go take a shower and I'll join you in a minute?"

Puck wags his eyebrows at Finn as she saunters across the room and disappears around the corner. "Hot right?"

"I thought you _had_ to have Kitty here?" Finn asks.

"Yeah she was fun until it was showtime and she started talking to me about church," Puck grumbles.

"What?" Finn chuckles, despite his sour mood and raging hangover. "Wasn't she wasted?"

"She was," Puck laughs. "Shit got weird though. S'okay, I found a replacement."

"Who is she?"

"Dunno," Puck shrugs.

"What's her name?"

"Dunno."

"You better be wrapping that shit up bro," Finn shakes his head in disbelief. "All it takes is a couple clicks on her phone and she knows _exactly_ how much you're worth. You're gonna fuck around one day and knock one of these nameless girls up and get stuck dealing with her shit for the rest of your life."

"Yeah, yeah," Puck grumbles, waving off his friend's words as he finishes off his food. "At least I'm getting some."

"Fuck you man, I get plenty," Finn snaps.

"From who? Rosey Palm and her five sisters?" Puck challenges.

"Whatever bro, I'm just surprised to find you didn't spend the night buried inside your own brother," Finn quips, not even sure why he came back over here today at this point.

"The hell man?" Puck laughs, after staring at Finn bewildered for a moment.

"You guys seemed pretty into each other that's all," Finn shrugs.

"Yeah he's pretty cool," Puck nods. "You don't like him or what?"

"Haven't talked to him much but he seems alright," Finn lies.

"You gonna be cool being around him? You know, wanting his wife and all?"

"Oh not this shit again," Finn sighs, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Shit's real now man, that's my sister."

"S'not your sister. And it doesn't matter because I've only seen her like twice. I dunno where you're getting this shit from," Finn grumbles.

"I _know you_ man, you have that stupid look on your face all the time now like when-"

"Fuck this," Finn sighs, pushing himself up from the table and heading towards the door. "Your friends waiting, I just came by to make sure you didn't choke to death on your own vomit last night. I'll catch you later."

"Tell Rosey and the girls I said hey!" Puck shouts as the door closes behind Finn.

Well _that_ visit sure didn't help things. So much for getting help from his best friend.

The rest of the day passes by tortuously slow, Finn unable to find any activity that occupies his mind long enough to keep Rachel out of his thoughts. He checks his facebook, Twitter and email more times than he can count just _hoping_ to see some sort of message from her...but gets nothing. He contemplates sending her a message himself, but changes his mind every time.

By the time his alarm sounds Monday morning he's exhausted and cranky from lack of sleep. He makes up his mind as he's heading into his office for the day and downing the world's largest cup of coffee, that he's talking to Rachel tonight one way or another. He just...he just _needs_ to talk to her.

He nods politely at his coworkers as he passes, making appropriate small talk but immediately shutting his office door and all of his blinds the second he has the chance. He'll do what he has to today but he wants it to be clear that he's not up for any extra socialization. It works for the most part, him handling all his emails and phone calls on autopilot as his mind continues to wander to the unobtainable brunette beauty haunting his every thought.

He jumps in surprise when his door flies open and reveals a grinning Puck holding a shiny wrapped box.

"Howdy," he calls out, shutting the door behind him before plopping down in one of Finn's chairs and propping his feet up on the desk.

"What's up man?" Finn sighs, annoyed by his friends presence but a little relieved to get some temporary distraction from his thoughts.

"Just wanted to say sorry for being a dick, that's all," Puck grins, holding up his gift.

"You're always a dick, what are you up to?" Finn asks suspiciouly.

"Can't a bro buy his bro a present without being up to something?" Puck asks, feigning hurt. "Seriously though, I've been giving you a hard time lately and I just wanna say sorry. You're working really hard for me and you're a good dude, I know you're not fucking married chicks or whatever, you're not me _am I right_?"

Finn narrows his eyes at his mohawked friend as he chuckles at his own words. His stomach twists uncomfortably at what he's said but he doesn't let him know, instead taking the present from his outstretched hands and ripping the paper off to find a jumbo box of...condoms?

"The fuck man?" Finn asks, holding the box up in question.

"My peace offering," Puck explains as if it should be obvious. "This weekend. You. Me. More pussy than you could dream of. Just like the old days. You in?"

"Uhhh," Finn begins to panic as he tries to think of a way to get himself out of this unwanted situation. "I, uh..."

"I miss my wing man!" Puck whines. "You've been acting like an old married man and I'm sick of it! Chicks love you man, you don't even have to work for it! As your best bro I'm not gonna let you waste your gift."

"My gift?" Finn asks, amused despite the situation.

"You're getting laid this weekend. I'm not taking no for an answer."

Puck's phone starts ringing in his pocket, Finn exhaling in relief as Puck grins saliciously down at it and says, "We'll talk about this later bro. Don't let me down."

With that he gets up and answers the call, leaving an uncomfortable Finn alone in his office with a jumbo box of condoms in his hands.

"Well that was fucking weird," he grumbles under his breath, wondering how in the world he's supposed to successfully go out with Puck this weekend when all he can think about is Rachel. He sighs heavily at his predicament, throwing the box forgotten in his desk drawer as his phone starts ringing and his day carries on as usual. Sports, money and Rachel...funny he thinks, that combo should make him feel a lot more amazing than he does right now...

* * *

><p>Rachel tugs at the hem of her cotton dress uncomfortably, stomach rolling from her unbearable nerves as the elevator creeps slowly to her chosen destination. She'd settled for the plain white cotton dress and navy blue chucks (to match the Yankees cap she's wearing to hide her hair of course) after trying on at least a million different outfits. What does one wear when they want to tell someone that they can't be friends anymore? She wants to look cute still because it's <em>Finn<em>, but not sexy. No. The opposite of sexy. Not like she's trying to seduce him because that's the_ last thing_ she should want. She's cutting ties. A clean break.

She also doesn't want to be recognized, thus the ball cap and oversized glasses she still has covering her eyes despite the lack of natural sunlight inside the elevator. If someone recognizes her and questions what she's doing at a sports agency this will all have been a massive waste of her time.

She thinks she's going to be sick as the elevator doors glide open, taking a deep breath and repeating the words her Nana used to tell her as a child "If it's hard to do, it's probably the right thing."

_You're doing the right thing_, she tells herself as she takes a hesitant step into the unfamiliar hallway. _Be the person you want to be. You're Rachel Berry_...she stops herself and shakes her head, sucking in a sharp breath as she continues to mumble to herself. _You are Rachel Puckerman, you are strong and loyal and confident and you do the right thing. Do the right thing Rachel._

She purses her lips and nods her head in agreement, balling her fists at her sides as she walks with purpose to the reception area of Finn's office. She stops short when she sees a pretty brunette standing behind the reception desk gathering her purse and keys. She doesn't know why she didn't think about having to stop and talk to another person, but this new development throws her wildly off her planned course as she stands motionless and studies the woman in front of her. She's not intimidatingly sexy or anything, but she's obviously pretty and Rachel cant help the sting of jealousy she feels as she wonders if this girl and Finn have ever dated.

"Oh, hello!" The girl smiles brightly as she looks up and sees Rachel. "I'm so sorry, everyone is out of the office for lunch. Did you have an appointment?"

"I..." Rachel pauses as she thinks of how to continue. Looking around now she realizes everything is quiet and still and she kicks herself mentally for this ill timed appearance. "No, I was hoping to speak with Finn Hudson. Is he already out to lunch?"

"Let me check for you," the brunette smiles kindly. "What is your name?"

"It's B-Barbra. Barbra Corcoran," Rachel blurts outs, biting her tongue as she finishes because where did that come from?

"One moment Ms. Corcoran," the receptionist nods, lifting the receiver of the phone and dialing Finn's extension. "Oh Mr. Hudson!" She smiles in surprise, pointing at the phone in victory as she looks to Rachel. "You're still here! You have a visitor by the name of Barbra Corcoran...No sir, she doesn't have an appointment. No I'm not sure. Okay..."

Rachel watches as the woman covers the receiver with her hand and looks to her. "And to which client of Mr. Hudson's does this visit pertain to?" She asks quietly.

"Noah Puckerman," Rachel answers immediately, her heart thumping wildly in her chest as the receptionist eyes her doubtfully. _Why_ did she wear sneakers?

"Noah Puckerman," she repeats to Finn, nodding and answering yes or no to the apparent stream of questions from him that follows.

It feels like ages that this goes on, Rachel fighting the urge to turn and run several times as the other woman eyes her up and down and answers several silent questions that Rachel herself is dying to hear. Does he know it's her?

Finally she hangs up the phone, grabbing her purse as she informs Rachel that Finn will be right up. Rachel nods gratefully, crossing her arms under her chest as she paces nervously in the fancy waiting area, repeating her Nana's words in her head over and over again.

"Thanks Marley, have a good lunch."

Rachel stills immediately when she hears his voice coming from down the hall, goosebumps rippling down her skin from head to toe as she waits for him to approach, watching Marley (apparently) wave goodbye to him and head towards the elevators.

She knows when he's stopped moving and is waiting behind her, but she's frantically trying to regather her strength before turning and looking at his handsome face. They haven't spoken since she left Saturday night, doesn't know how he's going to behave towards her, or more importantly, how she _wants_ him to behave towards her.

He clears his throat and she can practically hear the smirk in his voice as he calls out her "name". "Is there a Barbra Corcoran here to see me?"

She closes her eyes for a second, smiling to herself before turning around to face him. She was right, the smirk is there in all its lopsided glory, but it morphs slowly into a sad smile as they eye each other silently from across the waiting area. She desperately wishes someone would unplug this energy supply that's buzzing around them and clouding her thoughts because him standing there and looking at her the way he is, making her feel like this without even touching her? It's going to make what she came here to do so much harder.

"Do you want to go talk?" He asks quietly, the look in his eyes making her heart clench. She knows he knows why she's here.

She simply nods, not trusting herself to speak at the moment as he holds his hand out to show her the way. She walks silently beside him, holding her breath in order to keep his scent from infiltrating her thoughts and steering this meeting in the wrong direction. She came here for one thing and one thing only. She is _not_ an adulteress.

She smiles politely as he shows her into his office, closing the door behind him as he makes his way behind his large desk.

"You can have a seat if you like," he offers, nodding towards the plush leather chairs on the other side of his desk.

"I think I'll stand," she says weakly, biting her lip in nervousness as she leans back against the shut door and he stands awkwardly behind his desk, not wanting to sit if she doesn't. "You're not having lunch today?" She asks quietly.

"I already ate," he answers simply, eyes wide and curious as he watches her.

She hates the tension swirling around them right now, the uncertainty of how they should act, what they should say. But even more, she hates the way her desire for him to reach out and kiss her again outweighs any of those awkward feelings. Hates the way every last inch of her body is intensely aware of the fact that she is alone in a room with Finn Hudson.

_She has to get out of there._

"I didn't know what to wear," she blurts out suddenly, laughing uncomfortably as her cheeks flame and she takes off her sunglasses and cap, revealing to Finn her makeup less face and hair slicked back in a tight bun. "I didn't want to chance being recognized."

She looks around uncomfortably, not having the strength to make eye contact with him just yet, espcially with the unplanned and ridiculous opener that just fell from her lips.

"Probably for the best, I don't want to chance people seeing me with a Yankees fan."

"Excuse me?" Her eyes shoot up to meet his suddenly, a laugh bubbling out of her throat unexpectedly as he smiles and shrugs his shoulders. "What's wrong with the Yankees?"

"Where do you want me to start?" He scoffs, the previous existing tension quickly melting away as his eyes dance with playfulness and he makes a disgusted face at the offending hat in her hands.

"Waaait a second, you aren't a Mets fan are you?" She gasps, openly laughing now as his familiar Finn warmth envelopes her once again and she can't help but revel in it.

"I was born and raised in Queens Rach. I bleed blue and orange."

"Don't you represent James Kyle? He was just signed to the Yankees last year!"

"Rachel," Finn laughs, crossing his arms across his chest as he moves to the front of his desk and leans back against it. "Have you been researching me?"

She feels the embarrassed heat flush her entire system, her cheeks flaming red again she's sure of it as she's so blatantly just given herself away to Finn. She knows everything about him Google could provide her, but it was never her intention to let _him_ know that.

"I made a shit ton of money off that deal for starters. This _is_ a business you know," he winks, saving her from having to come up with an explanation, much to her visible relief. "And besides, Kyle is super overrated offensively. His career average is actually pretty laughable. They can have him."

They share a comfortable laugh as their eyes meet, all of Rachel's preparation and inspirational quotes forgotten as she takes in his long legs crossed before her covered in dark grey slacks, his broad torso wrapped in a crisp black dress shirt. She notices his eyes flicker down to her lips, her tongue darting out to wet the flesh as memories of their kiss flash in her eyes and the air around them burns sweltering hot suddenly. He reaches up to adjust his collar and she knows now is the time. If she doesn't get it over with now she never will.

"I don't know why I'm here," she whispers, the opposite of the words she had planned to say.

"That's okay," he responds quietly, pushing himself off of his desk to stand up straight, neither of them moving to break eye contact with the other.

Her stomach swoops, tingles shooting through every inch of her as the man before her looks at her like no one else ever has before...like she's everything to him.

Why did she think she could handle being alone with him? How did she ever think she could stay away from him? Being near another person has never brought her such an exhilarating mixture of peace and excitement before and she craves the addicting feeling. She wants to know everything about him, all the things Google can't tell her. How does he like his eggs in the morning? What's his coffee order? What side of the bed does he prefer? What are his secrets? His dreams? She wants to know all of it.

And she adores him.

They're past pretending to ignore this feeling, pretending like this isn't happening, past pretending like they're just friends and nothing more. She can't keep up this charade anymore, not around him at least.

"I can't," she starts, stopping herself when she sees the sadness flash across his beautiful features. It only lasts a second, Finn disguising it just as quickly as it appears, but she still notices. She notices everything about him.

"What are we doing Finn?" She asks instead, voice barely above a whisper but she knows he still hears. "What is this?"

He watches her for a moment before he sighs, dropping his head as he rubs his hands over his face. "I don't know Rachel."

"I'm not...I'm not this person Finn. I'm married a-and I, I swear I don't do this. I'm _not_ a cheater."

"I know," he assures her, the understanding clear on his face making her heart clench. "This isn't me either. God Rach I've never..." He pauses, looking at her so gently she feels her eyes fill with tears immediately, biting on her bottom lip as she desperately wills them away. "I _hate_ how badly I want you Rachel." He admits quietly. "I've never kissed someone else's wife before and I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have and-"

"Please don't be sorry," she interrupts as a tear escapes down her cheek. "I wanted you to."

"_Rachel_," he begs, and she doesn't know what he's asking her for but she doesn't think he knows either.

"I don't know what to do," she chokes out, lower lip trembling as a steady stream of tears fall down her face and her feet work on their own to carry her in front of him. He reaches out to cup her face, her breath catching in her throat as his simple touch sends shockwaves rocking through her body, making her sway on her feet.

"Please don't cry Rachel," Finn pleads, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe delicately under her eyes. "We'll figure this out together, okay? Please baby, you're too beautiful to cry."

"I don't know how to stay away from you," she whispers, watery eyes intent on him as he stares back at her.

"Stop trying," he breathes, the need in his voice too much for her to bear as she launches herself forward and smashes his lips down on hers.

She melts into him, Finn's lips the sweetest drug she could ever imagine, moaning at the unbelievable sensation of finally getting another hit of him. His name escapes her mouth like a curse and she feels the effect it has on him immediately as Finn pulls her flush against him.

"_Fuck Rach,_ do you have any idea what you do to me?" He pants, pulling away from her but keeping his hands cupped around her face. She can feel her chest heaving, her lips buzzing from the aftershocks of his kiss, her damp panties clinging to her flesh desperately and giving her enough courage to look him straight in the eye as she challenges.

"Show me."

"Don't say things you don't mean," he whispers, hands sliding slowly from her cheeks to her neck, her heart pounding against the heel of his palms.

She doesn't flinch, wrapping his smooth, black tie around her small fists and pulling him back down to her, "I don't."

The only sound that can be heard in the small room is their ragged breathing and the sound of their own hearts pounding in their heads, both motionless as they search each other's eyes for hesitance, for forgiveness...for _permission_. It's lifetimes and seconds before they're suddenly pulling at each other desperately, finally allowing their bodies to surrender to the temptation they've been so tirelessly fighting since the moment they first laid eyes on each other.

She squeals in surprise when Finn wraps his large hands around her waist, spinning them around and hoisting her up onto his desk. Her legs act on their own as they move to wrap around his waist, the flaming height ignited between her legs from the feel of Finn rubbing against her the only thing powerful enough to break her away from his kiss. She throws her head back, moaning at the sensation as Finn watches on with dilated eyes, rubbing his hardness against her over and over as she writhes on his desk beneath him.

"_Finn_," she whines, begging him to do something as heat seeps down her thighs from the look of pure desire on his face.

She feels herself growing frantic as flames engulf her entire body and he doesn't _do_ anything, just stands there watching her, rubbing his hands up and down her naked thighs. "_Finn_," she whimpers again, moaning from the huskiness of his voice as he looks her straight in the eyes, "Say it Rach."

"What?" She asks, breathless as he slowly starts bucking his hips into her drenched center again.

"Say it Rachel," he demands, tightening his grip on her thighs.

She watches him through the heavy haze of lust clouding her vision, the ghost of a smirk on his face sending a lightening bolt of confidence shooting through her as she gives him exactly what she knows he wants. "I want you Finn, _so bad. Please_, I need you."

He lets his full smirk loose at her words, leaning down to her ear at the exact moment he drops his hand between her legs, "You have no idea how long I've been dying to hear you say that."

She can only scream in response as he pushes her wet panties out of his way, exploring her most private place until she's literally shaking beneath him, on the verge of tears from the overwhelming sensations of Finn all around her. She's never experienced anything like this before and she has the fleeting thought that if she actually survives these feelings he's creating right here in the middle of his empty office on a Monday afternoon, then there is literally nothing in this world that will be able to keep her away from Finn Hudson ever again.

Every inch of her is a live wire, screaming for him to be inside of her, but she knows they have to be careful. They can't take any chances and although she realizes she's probably in the worst possible position to be praying at the moment, her mind screams out a silent prayer that he has protection because she most definitely did not come prepared for this.

"Finn, Finn," she pants, pushing back on his shoulders as he kisses along her neck in rhythm with his fingers working between her legs. His eyes dart to hers, the look she sees there overwhelming her for a second as she loses her train of thought and pulls him back down to her for another round of scorching kisses.

She forces herself back eventually, the dazed look in his eyes making her chest swell with pride and ache for him even more than she knew possible. "Please tell me you have protection," she gasps, squeezing her eyes shut as he never once lets up between her thighs, teasing her like mad but slowing down evey time she gets close to the edge.

They shoot back open almost instantaneously when his actions still suddenly, the panic written all over his features making her heart sink, "_Nooo Finn_."

"I-I didn't...I'm not, _fuck_! I didn't know this was gonna happen!" He groans.

"Finn we can't chance-" she stops, groaning miserably, not surprisingly feeling the weight of irrational disappointment and anger crush down on her. Every emotion she feels towards Finn is more powerful than she's ever felt, it comes as no surprise that includes negative emotions as well.

"_I know_," he groans, dropping his head to her shoulder in defeat before suddenly shooting up and laughing in triumph. He grabs her face, planting dizzying kiss after dizzying kiss against her stunned but eager lips, teasing the skin of her inner thighs until she's putty in his hands once again.

"Wha-what're you doing?" She asks breathless, immediately craving his touch again the second he separates from her and runs behind his desk.

He remains silent until he's in front of her again, positioning himself back between her legs and kissing his way up her neck to her ear before whispering, "I'm gonna fuck you Rachel, isn't that what you want?"

"Finn I..." her thoughts are lost on her tongue when he pushes away and smirks at her, revealing the foil packet in his hand.

"Isn't it?" He repeats.

Wanting Finn and giving him what he wants from her are the only two thoughts on her mind. She's too aroused, too intoxicated by his scent, his touch, his _presence_ to remember that this is so incredibly wrong. This isn't what she came here for but she's powerless to stop as Finn waits for her answer, his hands resting on his belt, teasing her with what's waiting for her just underneath.

"Yes," she breathes, wiggling on the desk to rid herself of any barriers as Finn quickly sheaths himself and reattaches his lips to hers in a matter of seconds.

He surprises her when he slows their frantic, hungry actions wihtout warning, communicating everything he wants to say to her with his sparkling whiskey eyes and leaving her absolutely dizzy before pushing slowly into her for the very first time. They cry out together, Rachel's back arching over his desk as his hands move to her waist and he pumps into her in a steady, delicious rhythm that has her panting for air before her brain even registers what's happening.

She doesn't allow herself to think about anything, she couldn't if she wanted to, her body simply acting on its own, like it's been making love to Finn Hudson for years...like it was made to do just this. Everytime it feels like it couldn't possibly get better, get more intense, it does, leaving her gasping for air and gripping onto the gorgeous man pressed against her for dear life.

She doesn't want it to end, the explosive pleasure, Finn's toned body moving against hers, his voice in her ear swearing she's an angel, the most beautiful, the best he's ever known. She wants to stay here, wrapped in his arms, but it inevitably becomes too much for her tiny body to handle, resulting in an explosion of white hot pleasure, cries and flashing lights until they're left simply clinging to one another, fighting to regain their breath. They stay that way as long as they can, buried in each other, each afraid to open their eyes and figure out what happens now.

Finn pulls back first, the braver of the two she knows, and she remains silent as he studies her face, slowly running his thumbs along her cheek bones as if he's committing the feeling to memory. She can't help but kiss him again, for the first time a tender, gentle kiss, not urgent and laced with sexual tension threatening to explode. Finn's being so delicate with her, kissing her so lovingly that it quickly brings tears to her eyes for the second time that day.

Finn breaks the kiss when he feels a tear drop land on his cheek, the guilt burning in his eyes when he sees how many more there are making her stomach twist in a painful knot.

"No," she whispers, smiling softly when she sees him opening his mouth to speak. She presses her index finger against his swollen lips, smiling again through her tears. "This isn't..." She shakes her head. "Finn this is for _you_, f-for us. You're...this was...Finn we're..."

The dazzling smile that lights up his face as she struggles to explain how _indescribable_ what just happened was sends her heart into over drive as he leans down to kiss her one more time.

"I know," he agrees into her lips, his eyes shining with the effects of his own overwhelming emotions. "We're gonna figure this out Rach, okay?"

She doesn't quite know how that's possible, dropping her eyes from his gaze until he gently lifts her chin back up, silently willing her to look at him.

"I'm not going to leave you alone with this Rachel, you have my word. We're in this together, okay?"

She looks deep into his eyes, this man whose come crashing into her life and turned everything upside down in such a short amount of time. He's wearing his heart so bravely on his sleeve and she knows that even though this is wrong, this is _so wrong_, there's no where else in the world she'd rather be. She surprises him by kissing him softly one last time, licking her lips to savor his taste as she pulls back and nods sincerely, "Okay."

* * *

><p><strong>I posted about this youtube mash up of Ed Sheeran's "Thinking Out Loud" &amp; Sam Smith's "I'm Not the Only One" on Twitter the other day, but if you don't follow me there I still recommend you checking it out if you're into this story. It's awesome first of all, but it also perfectly captures the two dynamics happening as a whole here of Finn falling in love with Rachel and Jake figuring out that he's losing her.<strong>

**This story is more than "you're hot, lets do it" (haha) and I think this mash up captures that perfectly.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading! Let me know what you think :)**


	5. Secret Lovers

**Hi there! I really wanted to post a sweet, fluffy chapter of WWLO for you guys for Valentine's Day, but for some reason my brain was just not havin' it. So this happened instead...the fluffiest chapter you can get for this story right now without being just completely out of left field, haha! Next chapter we start dealing with consequences and Jake and all that "fun" stuff but for now, I hope you enjoy this! It's a bit of a filler chapter in the grand scheme of things but it's Finchel lovin' so it can't be too bad, right? ;)**

**Thanks again for the mad love you're giving me on this! You guys are all kinds of awesome :)**

**Chapter title and opening quote from "Down Low" by R Kelly.**

* * *

><p><em>"Secret lovers, is what you wanna be<em>

_While making love to him girl, you're silently calling on me..."_

"Finn...Finn...Hello! Earth to Finn!"

"Wha-what?!" Finn jumps, the sound of his brother's voice shrieking in his ear making him drop his fork against his plate in surprise.

"Blaine's been telling you about his new art exhibit for the last twenty minutes and you literally have not looked away from whatever that spot is on the table that you've been staring at," Kurt huffs, always irrationally offended by "improper social etiquette."

"You also haven't even touched your steak," Blaine adds with a hint of hesitance. "That's very unlike you. A-are you okay?"

Finn stares back at his brother's long time boyfriend, his face blank as his mind races a million miles a second trying to figure out how in the hell to answer that question. _Is_ he okay?

He had sex today...on his desk at work...with the woman of his dreams...and it was _in-fucking-credible_. Like seriously, _life changing_ sex that he has to force himself to stop thinking about at the table with his brother before he actually pops a boner like a horny fifteen year old right there in front of him. Actually, he hasn't been able to stop thinking about it, or her, since she left. He's not even sure he could tell you what he did at work afterward if he's being honest, not even sure how he remembered he was supposed to have dinner at Kurt's or how in the hell he got himself there in the first place.

So really, he _should_ be amazing. He should be devouring this steak and fueling himself up for a night of devouring Rachel until she can't physically take it anymore...but that's not the case. Far from it actually. He's not sure where she went after she left his office, looking painfully adorable and sexy all at the same time in her sneakers and summer dress, but he knows at some point today she'll be back at home with Jake...her husband. The thought of her making love to Jake tonight after what happened between them today makes him sick to his stomach, his appetite all but gone completely as he hears her voice in his head moaning Jake's name instead of his as another man moves inside her.

"F-Finn?" Blaine stutters, the weird look on his face alerting Finn to the fact he's been staring directly at him with wide eyes while he thought about Rachel. _Again_.

"I'm sorry guys, I'm just...really..." his words trail off again, Finn finding himself at a loss for how to get himself out of this dinner without worrying his family. Their involvement is the last thing he needs. What he needs is for someone to tell him what to do! He can't see her again, right? He promised her he wouldn't leave her alone with this, but he just can't, no matter how badly he wants to. It's _so_ wrong. But what if she _wants_ to be left alone? What if she went home and saw Jake and decided she's devoted to him and that Finn was nothing but a temporary mistake. What if having sex with him just made her realize what a better lover Jake is? What if Finn was crap? What if she wasn't impressed with his package?

_Right, good one Hudson_, he chuckles to himself, oblivious to the horrified looks on Kurt and Blaine's faces as they watch him obviously struggling with something internally yet still chuckling quietly.

He quickly shakes his head of those thoughts. His dick isn't the problem and he_ knows_ it wasn't crap, but he still has no idea where to go from here and there's literally no one he can talk to about this.

"Finn, is this about Rachel Berry?"

"What?" Finn's head snaps towards Kurt's voice, his heart sputtering spastically in his chest. "What? Wha-why? Why would you ask that? S'not about Rachel. I haven't even seen Rachel since, you know uhm, that night."

Kurt and Blaine exchange a look across the table that leaves a sour feeling in his stomach, Finn absolutely hating being here right now and desperately trying to formulate his escape plan.

"We know having feelings for someone that's unavailable and unable to reciprocate is tough Finn, but-"

"I'm good," Finn interrupts, clearing his throat loudly. "Rachel's not an issue man, I swear."

"Are you sure? You're okay?" Kurt asks slowly, "You know Blaine and I are here for you always. If you ever need to talk about anything."

"I know, thanks," Finn nods, smiling weakly at the two smaller men, but still feeling monumentally awkward. "And, uh y'know, likewise. Was just a weird day at work. I'm sorry I'm being weird."

Finn looks down to his plate, picking up his silverware once he's decided making his exit will be much easier if he eats his food first. He steers the conversation away from him and back to Blaine's art, feeling every bit like a small child who is being made to stay seated and clean their plate before they're granted freedom from the kitchen table.

He tries his hardest to listen to what's being said and add his own comments. He really doesn't want Kurt watching him extra hard to see if there's any signs of Rachel Berry related distress, he already knows how Kurt feels about the whole thing. He has to shake off this weird feeling just until he can be alone. He sighs quietly, pretending to be super into whatever Blaine's talking about when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket.

He slides it out quickly, biting his lip to keep himself from smiling when he sees its a text from Rachel, or as his phone says, Barbra Corcoran.

**What are you doing?**

It's four simple words. Four words he's received countless times from other girls, from Puck, probably even from his own mother, but they've never wielded such power over him before. He purses his lips, stoked he finally has her phone number and that she texted him first (he would have driven himself crazy tonight trying to figure out if he should text her or not). He looks back up at Blaine, nodding and throwing in a couple words to show he's still listening before firing off a quick response.

**Dinner with Kurt and his bf. What're you doing?**

He's finished his dinner by the time she responds, granted, he was scarfing it down like a wild animal, but it still takes longer than Finn's nerves can handle at the moment.

**Trying to relax...**

Finn furrows his eyebrows as he stares down at his phone, not quite allowing himself to wonder if he's on her mind the way she is his.

**Trying?**

"Hey guys, I'm gonna run to the bathroom real quick," Finn announces, excusing himself to the privacy of Kurt's guest bathroom where he leans against the sink and waits for Rachel's reply.

**I can't stop thinking about you...**

He has to re-read the text at least five times before he actually comprehends what he's reading, finding it hard to concentrate over the pounding bass drum in his chest. She's thinking about him too?

**Are you alone?**

His stomach is a mess of nerves as he waits, leaving the phone in his hand and eyes glued to the screen.

**Yes**

He wishes both of them would say more, would stop holding back so much but he knows why they are. He takes a deep breath, taking the plunge despite being absolutely scared shitless to do so.

**Do you wanna change that?**

He doesn't take a breath as he hits send, Rachel's response coming almost instantaneously.

**When will you be home?**

"_Holy shit_," he whispers to himself, his hands shaking as he tries to respond, hardly believing this is actually happening.

**I can be home in twenty minutes**

He's already heading back to table, determined to get out of there as quickly as possible without them suspecting anything when his phone buzzes one more time.

**Text me your address, I'll be there in thirty**

* * *

><p>Rachel slings her bag over her shoulder, stopping by the front door when she catches sight of herself in the small mirror hanging to the left of the light switches. She's wearing make up now, her hair down in beachy waves, her dress a little more sexy than what she was wearing earlier, lingerie <em>definitely<em> sexier than what she was wearing earlier. She's been going stir crazy ever since she came home to an empty apartment after leaving Finn's office, the phone call from Jake telling her he'll be working late tonight the final kick she needed to text to him.

She's wrestled all afternoon with what happened during lunch, going back and forth between deciding she needs to pack up and leave town for good in order to keep herself away from Finn and having to stop herself from turning around and running back to him as fast as humanly possible.

"_What are you doing Rachel_?" She whispers to her reflection, frowning when the girl in the mirror doesn't answer. She looks down at the address looking up at her expectantly from her phone, knowing Finn will be expecting her soon. She shouldn't go. She should text him and apologize, say that she just really shouldn't...she really _can't_. She thinks of the disappointment that would be etched on his handsome features as he read the text. He'd probably drop his head, rub his large hands across his face before licking his pink lips and grunting in frustration. Her heart clenches at the thought of hurting him, the pain quickly forgotten as memories of those hands and lips and tongue flash before her eyes and before she knows it she's biting her own lip to keep from moaning out loud at the memory.

She doesn't understand what's happening to her. How or when she became this person. She doesn't know why or how to stop it...all she knows is that she has to get to Finn as soon as she can. He's like this strong, commanding magnet and she's powerless to his unwavering pull. She _needs_ to be next to him.

"_Thanks for nothing_," she sighs at the woman in the mirror, taking a deep breath to steady herself before heading out into the busy streets of New York City.

She's shaking in anticipation when she finally reaches Finn's apartment, the door swinging open before her fist even hits the door to knock. She squeals in surprise as Finn pulls her against him, using his foot to kick the door closed behind them. She's ripping her sweater off and throwing it behind her with her purse in a matter of seconds, Finn's lips on hers breathing new life into her, healing all the guilt and hurt she's been carrying around all day. She sighs in relief, his touch like balm to her aching soul as each kiss slowly erases all of her inner turmoil.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since you left," Finn whispers, running his hands down her back to her waist, helping lift her up so she can wrap her legs around him tightly.

She pulls back briefly, teasing the skin at the back of his neck with her nails as she looks at him through her dark lashes, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I met you."

"I might know a little something about that," he breathes, his eyes ablaze as he looks back at her. The passionate way in which he presses his lips against hers telling her everything she needs to know.

She feels her body flush under his attention, never before feeling as desired and _safe_ as she does here in Finn's arms. She swallows down the unwelcome guilt she feels as she thinks of how nice it would be to feel this way forever. What would that be like? To be Finn Hudson's girl?

Her thoughts escape her as their kisses grow deeper and more hungry and his hands move slowly under the skirt of her dress, massaging the smooth skin they find there and melting Rachel into a steaming puddle of desire at his feet.

"_Finn,_" she whines, his fingers moving closer and closer to where she wants them to be as he wraps his hands over her round globes tighter. "_More_."

"Tell me what you want baby and it's yours," Finn whispers, his husky tone making her throb impossibly harder for him as he kisses his way down her neck.

"_I want you_," she moans, desperately trying to create some friction between them as he starts walking them backwards to what she can only assume is his bedroom. "_Everywhere_."

"_Rachel_," he groans, pushing the fabric of her dress up until she grabs it from him and pulls it over her head. He stops kissing her as he kneels down on his bed, laying her down gently and pushing back to stand at the edge before her. She pushes herself up to rest on her elbows, fighting to catch her breath as Finn's eyes leave trails of fire across her skin, studying her from head to toe.

She gives up trying to breathe completely when his eyes meet hers, kicking off his shoes and socks before slowly climbing back over her, goosebumps rippling up her skin in his wake. He stops when his face is hovering over hers, Rachel's heart stopping along with her breath as his eyes dance between hers and her lips before finally whispering, "You're perfect Rachel."

He doesn't give her time to respond, latching his mouth on to hers as her fingers immediately move to his shirt, working desperately to rid him of the offending barrier. What happened between them earlier was _mind bending_, but it was rushed and public and they remained practically fully clothed the entire time. Rachel craves the feeling of Finn's skin against hers, wants to feel his heart beat with nothing in the way. She tugs aggressively when a button gets stuck, Finn sitting up on his knees and ripping the shirt off for her. She feels her tongue dart out to wet her lips as she studies his body, the combination of his bare chest and painfully obvious erection showing through his grey slacks maddening her to a fever pitch. She's up on her knees, running her hands all over the naked expanse of his broad chest as he runs his fingers through her hair, nipping at her bottom lip before dropping a hand down to unclasp her bra in one fluid motion.

She gasps as the garment falls before her and the air hits her bare skin, the devilish smirk on Finn's face sending a bolt of desire straight to her core. He tosses the black lace over his shoulder, Rachel arching her back over his mattress as he greedily attaches his mouth to her exposed chest, slowly working her into a frenzy.

"_Fuck_, you're making me crazy," he growls, pushing her back completely before he resumes worshiping her breasts, his right fingers flirting dangerously close to her aching center.

He catches her gaze as his mouth continues to work on her perky mound, holding it steady as he finally dips his fingers between her soaked folds. He groans at the feeling, the resulting vibrations making Rachel scream in pleasure as he simultaneously works magic between her legs.

She can't think, she can hardly form his name on her lips as she writhes beneath him, eyes squeezed shut, soft white sheets balled up between her tiny fists. He stops everything unexpectedly, Rachel too overwhelmed to understand what he's doing until suddenly her panties are ripped off of her and she feels his tongue _everywhere_.

It's an explosion of heat and lust as he laps up all the juice her body has to offer him, every curse and moan she hears fall from his swollen lips only serving to create more for him as she struggles to stay conscious.

It happens suddenly, his name falling from her lips like a prayer before it even catches up to her brain what's happening. It's like a tidal wave, pleasure crashing through every inch of her as she gasps for air and holds onto the bedding around her for dear life.

She opens her eyes again when she's confident she actually survived, slowly lifting her head until she sees Finn looking back at her. They're motionless for a moment, both staring at the passion burning in the other's eyes, chests heaving as they pant for a breath of the thick air surrounding them.

_She's never wanted another person more than she wants Finn Hudson right now._

They lunge for each other at the same time, a jumble of lips and limbs and moans as they work together to rid Finn of the rest of his clothing. His long arm reaches over into his night stand, successfully grabbing a condom without having to roll Rachel off of him. She promptly snatches it out of his hands, ripping it open with her teeth and rolling it down his rock hard shaft excruciatingly slow, his hooded eyes watching her every move and making her surge with confidence. She's never felt so sexy, so _alive_.

"It's my turn now," she smirks, pushing Finn backwards and sinking down over him in one fluid motion.

"_Oh fuck_," he moans, hands immediately grasping onto her hips as she tosses her head back and moves slowly over him. It's never, _never_ felt so incredible for her before, the combination of Finn inside her, his fingers digging into her skin and the pure desire evident on his face as he watches her work above him sending her into a nirvana like state she never knew existed.

She desperately holds onto that feeling for as long as she can, wanting to savor every delicious second until her body can't handle anymore, Finn sensing her need and allowing her to wrap her arms around him as he sits up to face her. He uses his strong hands to help move her tired body faster and faster until they're both coming undone together, crying out for each other as their bodies remain wrapped together, still connected as one.

* * *

><p>Finn grins to himself as he closes his eyes, hands rubbing lazily up and down Rachel's bare back as she curls herself into his side, head resting delicately on his chest. It's funny to him now, he's actually thankful he forced himself to eat that steak because he actually <em>has<em> spent the last few hours devouring Rachel...and it's been _fucking delicious_.

He can't erase the image of her naked body moving slowly on top of him from his mind...the way she tossed her head back as she moaned in pleasure, her long brown curls tickling his legs as she rolled her hips probably the sexiest thing he's ever seen. Finn's had a lot of good sex in his life, great sex even, but there's something about this tiny brunette laying next to him right now that makes everything just downright explosive. Something about the way she moves, the way she sounds, all of it just gets to him in a way he can't even begin to understand...and damn does he want more.

"Tell me what you're thinking," she whispers, soft voice cutting through his thoughts as her tiny fingers dance along his bare chest.

"I'm thinking about how beautiful and amazing you are," he answers without missing a beat.

"You're crazy," she laughs, shaking her head at him as he scoffs in disbelief. Does she really not think she's beautiful?

"Rachel you're gorgeous," Finn says slowly, taking her hand in his and kissing it softly. "I could tell that even when I only knew what you looked like covered in green paint."

She blushes at his words, the pink coloring her cheeks making Finn catch her lips with his own, kissing her lazily for as long as she'll allow.

"And you looked amazing earlier by the way. You didn't have change anything for me," he adds softly when she eventually pulls away.

She smiles in embarrassment as her cheeks flush again, giggling her thanks quietly as she snuggles into the crook of his arm and hides her face in his chest. The small action makes Finn's heart hammer at the thought of how much he likes this. Although, he's pretty convinced at this point that he'd like probably anything as long as Rachel were there with him.

"I like this," he confesses softly, smiling happily when he feels her pulling him impossibly closer, relishing in this rare closeness.

"So do I," she whispers, her soft breath tickling his skin and _God_ everything about this girl drives him absolutely crazy in the _best_ possible way. He kisses her head softly, allowing himself to just enjoy her presence and not worry about what comes next when she catches him by surprise.

"I want to know you," she announces.

Finn's heart swells at the sound of her voice, shifting both of them so that their heads are on pillows and they're facing each other, easily able to see one another as they talk.

"A part of me feels like I've known you forever," she continues, reaching out to touch her hand over his heart softly. "Is that crazy?"

"Not at all," he answers seriously, understanding what she means more than she'll probably ever realize.

She beams at him in response, kissing him softly but pulling away before either of them have the chance to take it any further. "I want to know the little things. Everything that makes you Finn."

"Anything you wanna know I'll tell you."

"Hmmmm," she grins. "What's your coffee order?"

"That's what you want to know the most?" he laughs.

"I'm starting small," she winks.

"Black," he answers, chuckling when she makes a disgusted face. "_What_? You asked."

"How do you like your eggs?"

"With bacon."

"No," she giggles. "What's your favorite way to eat them? Scrambled? Sunny side up?"

"Literally don't care as long as there's bacon," he grins, her answering giggles like music to his ears.

"Noted," she smiles softly, biting her lip as his eyes dilate at the implication of that one little word.

"Are you planning on making me breakfast soon?" He winks, pulling her closer to him again and letting his hands roam across her naked skin.

"Depends," she shrugs, Finn not missing the way she trembles under his touch.

"On what?"

"If you're a good boy," she whispers seductively.

Finn purses his lips as he pushes her back, rolling over until he's hovering above her and she allows him to settle between her legs. He dips his head to kiss her gently, slowly increasing the intensity until he lets himself go completely and pours all of his confused and overwhelming emotions into this one action.

"Am I?" He asks breathlessly when he finally manages to pull himself away from her. He smirks in satisfaction at the dazed look in her eyes, her bare chest heaving against his as she looks up in confusion.

"A-are you what?"

"Am I a good boy?" He whispers, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth as she squeezes her legs tighter around her.

"_Mmmm_" she hums, the ghost of a moan on her lips as she tilts her head up to allow him more access, his kisses moving just below her ear. "I'd say you're really, _really good_ Finn."

"But I can be better," he swears in her ear, loving the way she shudders against him at his words. "Do you want to see?"

"_God yes_," she begs, melting into him as he smirks against her skin, greedily setting to work exploring her all over again until his phone starts ringing loudly from somewhere in the room, startling them apart.

"_Shit_," he groans under his breath, pushing up when Rachel stills beneath him, knowing the spell of the evening has effectively been broken.

He looks around hurriedly, finding his phone beneath his pants and cursing again when he sees who it is. Why the hell is Puck calling him so late? He must be drunk dialing him again...dude always has the _worst_ timing.

"Sorry, it's just Puck," Finn explains at he silences the ringer, his heart sinking a little when he sees at the look of panic on her face.

"What time is it Finn?"

"It's, uhh, it's almost one thirty," he answers slowly, closing his eyes when he realizes how bad this could be for her. How did neither of them realize how late it had gotten?

"One thirty?!" She shrieks, kicking the sheets off her and racing into the living room.

She's back before he's even had a chance to stand and follow, grabbing for her clothes frantically as she looks worriedly towards Finn. "He's called like a million times."

He doesn't know what to say, reaching for his boxers and slipping them on as Rachel dresses faster than anyone he's ever seen anyone dress before. She races back into the the living room where she throws on her sweater and slings her purse across her chest, turning back to look at Finn when she's as presentable as she can be given the situation, still absolutely stunning in Finn's eyes.

"I have to...I have to go," she says softly, Finn hating the way her lips set in a straight line and her brows bunch together in obvious disappointment.

"Are you okay?" he asks, stepping towards her. "It's so late for you to be out there alone."

"It's fine," she assures him. "I travel home late all the time."

"What can I do?" He asks desperately, feeling so helpless given this new turn of events.

"_Kiss me_," she begs, wrapping her arms around him as he tries to convey everything he feels for her, everything he doesn't even understand enough to put into words through his kiss. He hopes she can feel it.

"I have to go now," she whispers, placing her hands on his chest to separate them enough to speak.

"Please let me know you're home safe and...and that you're okay," he asks, his hands still cupped around her face.

"I will," she promises, placing her hand over his as she pushes up to her tiptoes and kisses him one more time before turning and heading to the door. "Bye Finn."

He follows behind her, watching from his open door as she disappears down the hall. He sighs heavily, already feeling the emptiness of her missing presence before she's even left his building. He closes the door behind him, leaning back against it and grunting in frustration.

When he finally crawls back into bed alone, the open space where Rachel was just laying seems like a huge gapping hole that cruelly taunts him as he stares at his phone and wills her to call him.

She'll be fine and everything will work out, he thinks. They'll figure this out, they will.

They have to.

* * *

><p><strong>My Twitter homies know what I mean when I say the wall is coming next chapter, be prepared ;) But Jake is also, along with a bunch of drama! Plus Puck's on a mission to get Finn laid remember? I can't imagine what could go wrong there...and yes for those who are wondering, we learn more about Finn and Puck's past as the story continues.<strong>

**In the meantime though, I hope you all have a very Happy Valentine's Day whether you're in a relationship or not. Love and passion are all around us, celebrate it in all its forms :)**


	6. Stealing Moments

**I didn't mean to scare you guys with my AN last time, there's still a few more things that need to happen before the big meltdown, so don't be scared (just yet) haha!**

**There's a scene in this chapter inspired by a memorable scene in the movie "Unfaithful" (which if you've seen it, I SWEAR this fic will have a drastically different ending! Would never do that!) Hope I pull it off as well as they did!**

**Chapter title and opening quote from "She Don't Have to Know" by John Legend. (LOVE him and his wife, she's hysterical).**

* * *

><p><em>"Damn it's so stressful doing the dirt we do<em>

_So sad but true_

_And I know one day_

_I'm gonna pay..."_

It's eerily quiet as Rachel takes slow steps towards her apartment, almost as if the entire building is holding it's collective breath, waiting to see what happens next. She stops once she's standing directly across from her door, her palms sweaty and her mouth uncomfortably dry, no clue as to what she's supposed to say to her husband once she takes a step inside. It's a bit ironic to her, she's a professional actress after all, yet she considers herself a terrible liar. The thought of lying to anyone, Jake especially, makes her feel sick to her stomach and she dreads having to face him. What will she say? She can't possibly look him in the eyes and tell him the truth, it would destroy him. She burns with shame and guilt from her behavior; burns with the shame of wanting to turn around and return to Finn without dealing with Jake at all.

She sucks in a slow breath, powering off her still unanswered phone before slowly sliding her key into the lock. The second she steps into the room, Jake is barreling towards her, almost knocking her backwards with the force in which he wraps his arms around her.

"RACHEL! OH MY GOD!" He cries into her shoulder, "I thought..._oh God_ where have you been? I was worried sick! WHERE'S YOUR PHONE?!"

Rachel squeezes her eyes shut as he wraps his arms around her tighter, an overwhelming wave of sadness and guilt washing over her when the only thought in the her mind is how different she feels in Jake's arms compared to Finn's. Jake's embrace used to bring her such comfort, now it's lacking something she can't place, something she knows can only be found in the arms of another man...

Jake pulls back to look at her once he's confident she's really standing there and okay, the concern in his eyes quickly morphing into frustration. She wonders if he can tell. Can he smell Finn on her? Smell the passionate and unrestrained sex on her skin? Can he tell her body is still aching for Finn, having ripped herself away from him only moments after begging him to take her completely again?

_Can he tell?_

_Does she look different now?_

She feels her lower lip begin to tremble and without a further second to compose herself, a high pitched, animal like sob rips through her throat, startling both she and Jake. She throws her head into her hands, shoulders shaking wildly as she sobs incoherent explanations into her palms and Jake watches on with wild, confused eyes.

"Rachel, are you okay?" Jake asks, taking slow steps towards her when she doesn't acknowledge his question. "Rachel babe, you're really freaking me out, what happened?"

"I...Jake I was...I-I was with...I was with_ Tiiiina_!" She sobs, wailing the innocent woman's name. She has no clue why Tina's name came out, they've never even been friends really, but now that it's out there she can't take it back, not without replacing it with the truth.

"You were with Tina?" He asks doubtfully, "You don't even like her."

"I was running errands and bumped into her," she hiccups, wiping furiously at her face.

"And that makes you cry because? Why didn't you call to tell me? Or answer your phone?"

"It died, I'm sorry I lost track of time," she cries, each new lie she tells eating away at her a little bit more. "She was really upset and alone. She needed a friend and I- I was there."

"Rachel I don't understand," Jake huffs in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I was just going to sit and have one glass of wine with her but then she just kept talking and crying and I lost track of time," she continues, whimpering when a look of clarity takes over his features.

"Babe I really wish you wouldn't have come home alone drunk like this," he sighs, placing a gentle hand on the small of her back and leading her towards the couch, though she doesn't miss the way he grumbles under his breath about alcohol always making her over emotional.

"Why're you still crying?" He asks gently, though through her actual sobriety Rachel suspects he doesn't actually care and is only trying to appease her so she'll stop. This annoys her a bit, another wave of uncontrollable emotions hitting when she finds herself once again wishing she were with Finn still.

"Her boyfriend was cheating on her," she blurts out, hot tears streaming down her cheeks as the words tumble out on their own. "He never told her, he just kept letting her believe a lie. Oh G-God he just.._.he just never told her_!"

She continues to sob, her lies ringing thick with her own truthful confessions that sail right over Jake's head. He simply nods, allowing her to cry it out as he rubs her back soothingly, the gentle gesture making her cry even harder.

"Don't let it upset you babe," Jake says softly. "The guys obviously a piece of shit, she's better off without him."

Jake's words are like a punch right in the gut, Rachel choking on her sobs as they echo inside her head.

_He's a piece of shit. She's better off without him._

_Oh if Jake only knew..._

"I'm gonna go grab you some water and some medicine and then we'll get you to bed okay?"

She watches through her tear clouded vision as the man she's spent her entire adult life with walks into the kitchen. She stills love him, she knows she does and she's reminded of that fact yet again when he smiles at her gently, holding out the water and aspirin that he thinks she so desparately needs. She loves him wholeheartedly and she probably always will.

What she doesn't know is if she's still _in love_ with him?

"C'mon, let's get you to bed," he smiles, sitting her glass aside and scooping her into his arms bridal style. She buries her face in his neck, hot tears flowing freely because nothing feels the same anymore. The actions and words and touches that used to bring her such comfort and make her feel loved, they've lost their magic. Nothing is the same.

_Nothing compares to Finn Hudson._

She's silent as he tucks her in, closing her eyes as he kisses her cheek and tells her he loves her. She doesn't say anything in response, because she can't right now, but he seems to think nothing of it as he walks around the bed and situates himself beside her.

She waits until the room is totally dark before opening her eyes again, Jake motionless next to her aside from the slow rise and fall of his chest. They're swollen and dry from the breakdown she had, but that's the last thing on her mind as she wonders what Finn is doing across town in his empty apartment. She promised she would let him know she was okay and she's craving his voice in her ear now more than ever.

She holds her breath and listens for the tell tale sign of Jake being in a deep sleep, the low, deep grumble that comes from the back of his throat that used to startle her awake when they first started dating. She pushes the covers off herself gently when she's satisfied that he's out, slinking quietly off the bed and into the living room to retrieve her phone.

She powers it back on as she tip toes lightly into the guest bathroom, sighing when she sees a few worried texts from Finn pop up on her screen. She knows he's worried about her but also worried to text her when he knows she's with Jake. She hates this dangerous game they're playing.

_Then stop it Rachel._

She purses her lips at her own thoughts, turning the sink faucet on as she quickly clicks Finn's name in her phone.

"Hello?"

He answers so quickly, his deep voice washing over her and enveloping her in comfort, once again making her feel like everything will be okay...for a little awhile at least. She closes her eyes and exhales deeply.

_He is why I can't stop_.

"Hello? Rach? Are you okay?"

"Hi Finn," she greets him softly, her tormented heart swelling from the feeling of his name on her tongue. "I'm okay."

"God Rach, I've been so worried. You're home? Are you, I mean w-what happened? What did you say?"

"I'm home. I," she sighs in embarrassment as she replays the Tina story in her head. "I took care of it. Everything is okay."

"I-is he there? With you now?"

"He's asleep," she whispers, the silence that follows from both of them ringing with a hint of sadness.

"Thank you for calling me," he says finally. "I was worried. I...look I'm really sorry I lost track of time like that. I just kind of forget about everything else when I'm with you."

"Finn," she exhales through a sad smile. "It wasn't your fault."

"This is crazy isn't it?" He asks quietly after a moment of charged silence.

"It is," she nods to herself.

"Do you want to stop?"

Her heart sinks when she hears the heaviness in his tone. He knows this is wrong...they _both_ know this is wrong. She's tearing three people apart but she doesn't know how to go back to living life without Finn. The concept alone doesn't even make sense in her mind as she thinks it.

"I don't want to hurt you Finn...or him..." she whispers, her lower lip trembling. "But I...I don't want to be without you."

"Rachel," he breathes. "I don't want to be without you either. As long as you want me, I'm not going anywhere. I swear."

"I'm going to figure this out Finn," she promises, wishing so badly he could wrap her in his strong embrace right now and help her believe her own words.

"I know you are baby," he whispers, the butterflies she hasn't felt since she was a teenager releasing themselves again at the sound of his smooth voice and confident words..._Finn's butterflies_.

"I don't deserve you," she confesses, so quietly she's unsure if he is even able to hear her over the running water.

"I think it's the other way around Rach."

The smile evident in his voice does it's job as she sits up a little straighter from her spot perched atop the closed toilet seat, a small smile creeping it's way onto her face.

"I should go before he finds me missing again," she sighs.

"Okay," he agrees, before calling out to her again. "But hey Rach?"

"Yes?"

"I never got your answer."

"My answer to what?"

"If I were to make you breakfast," he asks. "How would you want your eggs?"

She smiles wide, giggling softly as she reveals her answer. "Scrambled. With salsa."

"Salsa huh?" He chuckles.

"Extra chunky," she grins.

"Noted," he murmurs, Rachel holding her hand to her chest as she closes her eyes and tries to calm her racing heart.

"I'll talk to you soon, okay?" she whispers.

"Sweet dreams Rachel."

"Goodnight Finn."

* * *

><p>She's practically buzzing inside as she smiles into her warm mug of tea, appreciating the few moments of solitude she's managed to snag before her always loud and entertaining girlfriends join her. She's excited to see Quinn and Santana, they've been friends since she first moved to New York and they were all three working at a cheesy Broadway themed diner, struggling to make a career out of their true passions. Success has come to each of them other these past ten years and while this success has kept them busier than any of them ever could have imagined, they still like to make it a point to meet for lunch at least once a month to catch up.<p>

This month it was Santana's turn to pick the place and while Rachel always tends to be a little apprehensive about Santana's choices, she was delighted when she arrived earlier and found an endearing little cafe right in Finn's neighborhood. She knows he's at work right now but the proximity to his cozy apartment still manages to warm her from the inside out, just the thought of him making her grin stay plastered on her face as she remains seated alone.

She grabs her phone, firing off a quick text telling him where she's eating and that she hopes his day is going well. He doesn't respond immediately as he so often does, but she stays grinning anyway, she knows he gets busy at work and will text her back when he can.

_Finn._

What a whirlwind her life is now that he's come into it. Being on Broadway has always meant keeping a rather odd schedule, something that used to upset her when she and Jake had trouble navigating their way around their conflicting careers, but these past few weeks she's found herself immensely thankful for it. She's managed to keep her time with Jake to a minimum, finding every little place she can to squeeze in time with Finn.

He'd surprised her last night, waiting for her in her dressing room after the show, suit and tie, bouquet of red roses and all. She hasn't the slightest clue as to how he got back there, but the sight of him standing there looking so dapper in his suit, the bulbs from her vanity mirror illuminating him from behind as if he were this ethereal being sent to Earth just for her, well, she couldn't be bothered to ask.

The sounds of the cast and crew moving around right outside her door, the immediate chance of being caught at any second only served to heighten their pleasure as Finn took her repeatedly atop her vanity, on the couch, against the wall. She's never known passion like this before, the memories of Finn inside her making her visibly flush, crossing her legs under the table in a desperate attempt to extinguish the flame she's sparked inside herself, knowing she won't see Finn today and that it will be left painfully neglected.

"Well lookie here Quinn, something's seemed to have gotten our little Berry all hot and bothered."

Rachel's eyes shoot up at the sound of Santana's voice, a flaming hot blush igniting across her face and chest as her two friends smirk at her knowingly.

"I haven't the slightest clue what you mean by that," Rachel replies dryly, her nose in the air.

The two women share a small laugh as Santana snorts "Right,' everyone taking a seat and diving back into the familiar camaraderie that's always come so easy to them.

"Seriously Rachel, what's going on with you?" Quinn laughs, "You have such a dreamy look on your face."

"She had amazing sex, that's what it is," Santana answers. "Isn't obvious? Look at how she keeps shifting in her chair."

"Santana!" Rachel gasps, horrified that she's that easy to read and wondering if anyone else in the small cafe has noticed. She sighs a little in relief when she looks around and notices it's still pretty empty. She supposes it is still a little early for the lunch rush.

"You know I can tell these things Rachel, just spill the beans. You had amazing sex recently didn't you? This morning? Waaaait no, definitely last night. Am I right?"

"Santana!" Rachel hisses again.

"Oh come on Rachel, tell us!" Quinn laughs, "We're all friends here. What is it that has you so flustered like this?"

"It's the sex," Santana whispers, winking at Rachel as she visibly sighs in defeat. "It was amazing right?"

Rachel looks to the ceiling, laughing a little at herself as she confirms, "Earth shattering."

Santana and Quinn both squeal at the confession, Santana appearing absolutely beside herself at this confession. "Fantastic," she beams. "What's Puckerman doing different? He's finally reading that copy of "Sex for Dummies" I got him for Christmas isn't he?"

"He is not," Rachel scolds, heart aching a bit when it registers to her that Jake isn't even in her realm of thought as she gushes about sex with Finn to her girlfriends.

"So what changed?" Quinn asks eagerly, their menus all laying forgotten around them on the tiny table. "You've never talked about him this way before. Have you guys started going to that counselor I told you about?"

"Rachel, if you need a counselor to help your sex life with your husband you're doing it wrong," Santana dead pans.

"Shhh," Rachel hushes them harshly, feeling the eyes of the bartender on them curiously as he wipes down the counter. "We don't need counseling. We're fine."

"Well fuck me," Santana breathes with wide eyes, Rachel's stomach dropping because she knows she's figured it out. If anyone would be able to smell it on her it's Santana. She should have known better. She takes a deep breath, trying to keep herself from bursting out into spontaneous tears again when Santana's next words make her freeze in place. "I haven't been with a man in a while, but he might be able to sway me to the other side for a night or two."

"What?" Rachel cocks her head, confused.

"Super, _super_ hot guy just walked in," Quinn whispers. "Stop! Don't- don't look right now he's walking up to the bar right behind you."

Rachel's pulse picks up when she hears an all too familiar voice telling the bar tender he has a to-go order to pick up. It takes every single ounce of strength she possesses in her tiny body to not smile as she turns her head slightly to the left and sees Finn standing at the bar with his back to her. What is he doing here? Shouldn't he be at work?

He's definitely wearing his work clothes she notices, his perfectly tailored black slacks directly in her line of vision and making her mouth water as she thinks about what's underneath them. He has the sleeves of the light blue dress shirt he's wearing rolled up his forearms, the way he has his hands resting outstretched on either side of him, long fingers wrapped around the edge of the bar almost making her whimper out loud. What is he doing to her?

"Would it be weird if I introduced myself?"

"He's not wearing a ring," Santana points out.

Rachel's eyes nearly bulge out of her head when she turns back to her friends and hears their hushed conversation, panic taking over as she imagines Quinn hitting on him right here in front of her.

"Not married, but I wonder if he's single?" Quinn ponders, eyeing him up and down as he waits for the bartender to return.

"No way," Rachel hisses, shrinking back in her seat a little when both girls head's snap to hers immediately. "I'm just saying, _look_ at him. There's no way he's single."

Rachel can't be bothered to listen to Quinn's response, her attention once again shifting to the bar when she hears Finn's voice asking where the restrooms are. He turns and begins walking slowly in the direction he was shown, passing directly by Rachel without saying a word or even sneaking the tiniest of peeks in her direction. She has to hold her breath as she fights to reconcile the whirlwind of emotions raging inside her from him pretending she doesn't exist and Santana and Quinn both turning to give him one more once over as he passes by.

"Maybe when he comes back," Quinn nods, finally lifting her menu and pointing out things to the girls that catch her attention.

Rachel's menu remains untouched before her, eyes still following Finn until he reaches the open doorway that leads to the bathroom, placing one large hand on the door frame as he turns slowly and looks over his shoulder. Their eyes lock immediately, Rachel's breath catching in her throat as he holds her gaze, the ghost of a smirk on his lips as his eyes drop down to her black heels, peeking out from beneath the table, and then slowly back up to her face.

He raises one eyebrow before turning and disappearing into the hallway, leaving an overwhelmed Rachel practically shaking in her seat. She eyes her friends, already deep in conversation about something Rachel cannot find the strength to make herself interested in and she quickly makes up her mind. She clears her throat, smoothing her hands over the skirt of her dress before excusing herself to the ladies room.

She feels herself struggling to stay steady in her heels as her feet carry her quickly to back of the cafe and to the hallway Finn just disappeared into. There's only one door, Rachel pushing her way through it with unsteady hands, her stomach churning painfully with nerves. She finds him leaning against the sink with his arms crossed, obviously waiting for her and the sight easily reignites the flame she's spent the last thirty minutes trying fruitlessly to extinguish.

"I'm so glad you could join me," he grins, voice thick with lust as they approach one another and he immediately pulls her towards him, eagerly capturing her lips with his own.

"_Finn_," she moans into his mouth, his deep, hungry kisses setting her on fire as she feels him walking her backwards. "What're you doing here?"

"No time for talking Rach, if we're gonna do this we have to do it fast."

He slams the stall door shut behind her, licking his lips as he eyes her hungrily and reaches slowly behind her to lock the door in place.

"_Here_?" Rachel asks, gasping when in an instant he's everywhere, his mouth on her neck, one hand in her hair and the other finding its way up her dress.

"Here," he repeats, turning to press her against the wall, his long arms stretched out above him against the cold tile, effectively caging her in. "Unless you don't want it."

The intensity of his gaze makes her whimper, Rachel sucking her bottom lip in between her teeth when he presses his already painfully hard erection straight into her core. "Just say the word baby, I'll never do anything you don't want me to."

He begins pressing hot kisses along her neck again, her panties clinging to her as they silently beg her to just give in. He drops his hand cautiously back under her skirt, continuing his actions when she makes no move to stop him. He groans into her neck when he traces his fingers lightly over the wet lace of her panties, biting down once on her neck. "You're fucking soaked baby, _tell me_ you don't want this."

The pleasure pulsing through her from Finn's light touch is enough to make her forget everything else, forget any apprehension she may have about their current surroundings as she surrenders completely to her unquenchable desire.

"My friends are waiting for me...be fast," she instructs, smirking back at him as he rewards her with a breathtaking smile.

His lips are back on hers instantly, Rachel wrapping her arms around his neck and allowing him to lift her, pinning her against the wall with his hips as his hands drop automatically to the exposed skin of her thighs. Breathy moans fall from the back of her throat as she continues to grind herself down against his erection, his fingers gripping her thighs so tight she's sure he'll leave marks, but she can't bring herself to care.

He releases one of her thighs, working quickly to unbuckle his belt and rid himself of his pants and boxer briefs as Rachel continues to rock herself against him. It's so hot in the tiny stall she can barely breath and every stroke of Finn's velvet skin against the pink lace of her panties only makes her hotter. She can see the sweat beading on his forehead and grins with the satisfaction of knowing she has the same effect on him. Her grin quickly dissolves into a deep moan when she feels Finn push her panties to the side, both hands gripping her ass painfully hard as he slides her across his throbbing shaft, her wetness coating him from base to tip.

"_Fuck Rach_," he growls, moving her faster until stopping completely, leaving Rachel panting for her next breath above him.

"_Finn_!" she gasps, forcing herself to open her eyes.

"I...condom," he chokes out between clenched teeth, Rachel tossing her head back against the wall as he fishes for the needed protection. She wants him completely _so badly_, wants to feel his warm flesh from the inside out, but she knows it's too risky. Being with Finn in that way opens the door for too many consequences, consequences they aren't equipped to handle right now.

She knows he's ready when she feels him moving her slowly against him again, his eyes boring into hers when she lifts her head back up. She leans forward to kiss him, short but passionate before pulling back, "Fuck me Finn, please. _Now_."

His eyes dilate at her request, his mouth on hers the instant he slides into her, doing his best to swallow their cries and not alert the entire cafe to their activities. It's explosive just as it's been every time, Rachel squeezing her eyes shut as she once again has difficulty wrapping her head around the feeling Finn's steadily pumping into her.

"_Faster_," she begs, needing so desperately to have all of him before someone walks in and catches them.

"Fuck," he moans as they both pick up speed, one hand against the wall to help hold them steady and the other digging into Rachel's skin as he pounds his hips into hers. "_Shit baby_, you're unreal."

"_Finnnnn_," she whines, begging him for something, what she doesn't know, but the ferocity in which he's slamming into her is almost unbearable.

She doesn't realize the door to the bathroom has swung open, too busy trying to catch her breath until Finn suddenly freezes in place. He presses his index finger over her lips, both of their chests heaving as the stall door jiggles beside them.

"_Occupied_," Finn chokes out, strain obvious in his forced voice.

"Sorry dude," a male voice answers, Rachel only slightly lucid enough to be thankful it's a stranger and not one of her friends.

They listen as the guy closes the door to another stall, Finn grinning at her wickedly as he drops both hands to her waist and starts moving her over him excruciatingly slow, her head falling back against the wall as her jaw drops open. She needs more, moving her hips in a circular motion as Finn slides in and out, feeling every delicious inch of him caress her tight walls as he watches her with hooded eyes.

She almost cries in relief when the stranger is finally finished emptying his bladder, Finn having to clasp his hand over her mouth to muffle her scream as he shifts to a different angle. She's so close, Finn hitting her in just the right spot now that it's only seconds after the door closes and they're finally alone again that she's screaming into his hand, her orgasm ripping through her as he continues to pump in and out.

She collapses against his shoulder as he moans her name into her neck, his own release following shortly after hers and nearly rendering them both speechless. She allows herself to remain wrapped around him for longer than she probably should, peeling herself off him eventually and making quick work of cleaning herself up and readjusting her clothes.

He doesn't speak as he redresses himself, an affectionate smirk on his lips as he keeps his eyes on her, hands busy re-buckling his pants. She's once again stunned by how handsome he is, looking every bit as put together as he did when he first stepped foot into the cafe.

He leans down once he finds himself presentable again, pressing one soft kiss against her lips before pulling back just enough to whisper, "I have about thirty minutes left before I have to head back to work. If you decide to ditch your friends, you know where to find me."

With that he turns and leaves the restroom, Rachel leaning her head back against the cool tile and finally inhaling a lungful of air, the action seeming so minuscule and easy now that Finn's not in front of her anymore. She walks slowly to the sink, running her fingers through her hair and splashing a handful of cold water on her face. She takes one more deep breath, readying herself to face her friends before swinging the door open and walking confidently back to the table.

"Oh my God Rachel we were about to come check on you!" Santana wails, "Your tiny ass fall in the toilet or what?"

"Rachel are you okay?" Quinn interrupts, face full of concern. "Your face is red as a tomato! C'mere let me feel you."

"I, uh, I got sick," Rachel lies, biting her tongue as Quinn's eyes grow wide at the touch of her forehead.

"You're burning up Rachel!"

"Sick huh?" Santana asks, quirking an eyebrow. "You know what countless rounds of amazing sex lead to right? A bun in the oven."

"I can assure you my oven is bunless," Rachel snaps, peering over her shoulder but finding no trace of Finn.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Quinn asks again, Rachel feeling like a terrible person as she grabs on to her friends genuine concern and runs with it.

"I'm really not feeling too well," she lies. "Would you guys hate me if I went home for a bit so I can lay down before I have to be at the theater?"

"Of course not," Quinn assures her.

"We'll meet up again soon Rachel," Santana agrees, winking as she adds. "But peeing on a stick might not be a bad idea."

"Thanks," she rolls her eyes, knowing pregnancy is most definitely not her issue right now. "I'll see you girls soon okay?"

Rachel looks over her shoulder once the warm afternoon air hits her face, checking to see if the girls are watching her before scampering off in the opposite direction of her apartment.

* * *

><p>Finn grins as he hears the delicate knock on his door, checking his watch to confirm that less than five minutes have passed since he himself made it home. He knows who's waiting for him on the other side, but his heart still catches in his throat when he swings the door open and sees her standing there.<p>

She quirks an eyebrow at him, shooting him a smile that's down right seductive as she walks past him and into the apartment. Finn closes the door behind her, turning to find her watching him with a look he can't quite place, the air around them thick and charged as it always is.

Finally she giggles a little, her mouth hanging open as she asks, "Did you just fuck me across the street?"

"I did," he nods, unable to keep a proud smile from sneaking it's way onto his face.

"I just let you fuck me...in a public restroom stall," she repeats, eyes wide as if she can't possibly believe it.

He chuckles lightly as he walks towards her, stopping when they're toe to toe, "Well to be fair Rachel, you were pretty amazing at returning the favor."

"I am a lady!" she gasps, pushing him playfully as he wraps his arms around her.

"Ooh I dunno Rach, a few of my favorite memories are of you doing some very _un_-lady like things," Finn teases, loving the way her cheeks flame in adorable embarrassment.

"What are you doing to me Finn Hudson?" She whispers, pushing herself up to the tips of her toes to kiss his more than willing lips.

"I'm making you feel good, anytime I can," he says seriously, gently grabbing a hold of her chin and pulling it up so she can look into his eyes and believe what he's saying to her. "The way a gorgeous, amazing, talented, funny and smart woman like you deserves."

"Finn," she breathes, studying his eyes as her hands lay softly across his chest, Finn unable to keep himself from wondering if she can feel the way his heart is booming aggressively just beneath the surface.

She frowns suddenly, pulling away from him and making him instantly miss her warmth. She sighs heavily as she pulls her vibrating phone from her bag and he already knows without asking who it is.

"It's okay," he says softly. "You can answer, I'll just, uhm be in the kitchen."

He holds his breath, staying completely still as he strains to hear her hushed voice in the other room. He doesn't know why he's doing this to himself, the thought of Rachel with Jake makes him physically ill but he's dying to know what she's saying to him, anything that will give him a glimpse into what they're relationship is like. He needs to know how Jake talks to her, how he treats her.

He needs to know if there's a real chance she'll ever leave Jake and be with him and _only_ him.

He stays in his spot, motionless as he listens to her tell him how she'll be headed to the theater soon and what time he should expect her home. She seems interested in something he mentions about a guy named Ryder and he's just about to grab his bag of food and give up the game when he hears the rushed and whispered words...

"_Love you too_."

It's like he got hit in the gut by a baseball bat wielding ghost, the unexpected blow forcing him forward as he catches himself on the counter and starts choking on the extremely unwelcome emotions the simple statement evokes inside him.

He's not an idiot, he understands that she's married and that one doesn't generally marry someone they don't love, but hearing her say it was like a slap in the face from the cold, hard hand of reality and Finn honestly thinks he might be sick. He's let himself get so wrapped up in the physical side of things that he's been ignoring how painful the emotional side is.

He hears her heels clicking against the floor as she runs to check on him, her warm palms rubbing against his back as she repeats his name worriedly. "Finn, baby are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he sighs, hating the way his stomach swoops at the basic term of endearment. How many women have called him baby before? _Get over it Hudson, she loves someone else_. "Just need some water."

He moves to get himself a glass, making her one as well without looking at her. He can feel her eyes on him as he studies the floor beneath his feet, feeling a sick combination of guilty and angry and just..._sad_. He hears her glass clink against the counter top, her delicate foot steps echoing in the kitchen until she's situated herself directly in front of him, placing a gentle hand against his cheek.

He doesn't look up, not until he hears her beautiful voice, bleeding with sadness, "I'm sorry."

His heart clenches at her tone, allowing his eyes to drift to hers, holding steady as he studies the emotions swirling in her deep chocolate pools. She knows he's upset and she knows why. This crazy connection they have allows them to understand each other without saying a word and it freaks him out a little bit if he's being honest. He knows she's genuine, knows she's confused and unsure of what to do in this situation and in an instant his anger melts away. He knew what he was getting himself into, he has no one to blame but himself. If she feels for him even half of what he does for her, he can't even imagine how conflicted she is inside, she doesn't need him giving her shit for trying to hold things together with her husband in the meantime.

She's there, right there in front of him, touching him so lovingly and he knows he can't turn her away. He'll take any part of her she's willing to give him and deal with the consequences later. Nothing that could happen to him would be worse than going back to a Rachel-less life.

"It's okay," he whispers, turning his face to press a soft kiss inside the palm of her hand. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for Finn. I just don't know what to say when-"

"And neither do you," he emphasizes, shaking his head and pulling her against his lips when he sees the tears there threatening to well over. He kisses her slowly, lovingly, his hands gently at her neck, her pulse throbbing against his heated skin. He has so many questions to ask, so much he needs to hear from her but he knows they'll both need to leave soon and he won't let himself waste a second of this time on anything that doesn't involve her lips against his or her laughter in his ear.

"What time do you have to get back to work?" She asks breathless, leaning her forehead against his.

"Soon," he breathes, closing his eyes and wishing with everything in him that they could just stay like this, just the two of them, forever.

"Then I should probably let you eat, huh?" She grins, Finn chuckling as he opens his eyes and sees hers sparkling back at him.

"I don't wanna eat," he smirks, raising an eyebrow at her teasingly.

"I know," she laughs, "but you need to. I know you Finn, you'll thank me later."

His heart skips a beat in his chest, momentarily stealing his breath because she's right. She knows him and he doesn't even know how or when because its all happened so quickly.

And that's incredible to him.

She kisses his cheek lightly before pulling away and unpacking his food for him, the domestic action making him feel things he's thought in the past he may never feel. He can't help himself as he walks up behind her, letting his hands rest on her waist as he places lazy kisses along her neck.

"You didn't get to eat either did you?" He asks, feeling Rachel quiver beneath his lips. She shakes her head no, tilting her head to allow him more space as he murmurs into her delicious skin, "I can share with you."

"Finn," she half giggles, half moans. "You got a patty melt."

"You can have my salad," he offers, grunting a little when he feels her pressing her ass against him, lifting an arm to wrap around his neck.

"I love how small I feel against you," she hums, pressing against him harder as his eyes drop down to her backside, his grip on her waist intensifying as she moves against him slowly.

"Funny, I love how big I feel against you," his voice coming out scratchy and thick, hardly recognizable to his own ears.

"Finn..."

"What're you doing to me baby, I thought you wanted me to eat," he breathes in her ear, biting down on her lobe as he finishes and relishing in the resulting moan that falls from her lips.

"I-I do..." She stammers. "I- I just..."

He's already pushing her skirt up as she struggles to form a sentence, his mouth watering from the sight of her before him, the tiny pink thong she's wearing making him feel crazy as he remembers how it looked clinging against her in that tiny bathroom stall.

"We have time for one more," he whispers in her ear, slowly moving to push her panties down her legs. "I can eat at my desk."

"Yes," she breathes, bracing her hands against the counter as she hears him readying himself behind her. "_Finn please_..."

"Hmmm," he hums, hearing Rachel beg for him like that easily one of his favorite things in the world. He pinches his eyes shut as he slides into her from behind, Rachel's knuckles going white as she grips on the counter in front of her. He grunts as he tries his best to control his actions, he knows they need to be fast but he has to remind himself not to hurt her as the feeling of being inside her has the power to work him into an intoxicating frenzy.

He almost can't deal with how good she feels, her warm walls so tight around him he thinks he could actually cry, never before experiencing a girl who feels this amazing. He can't stop himself from dropping his eyes down to her perfectly toned ass, bouncing slightly every time his hips slap against her, her back arching as she moans his name almost incoherently. "_Fuck baby_," he growls, the combination of what he's seeing and what his hearing driving him mad as he pounds relentlessly into her. "You're so fucking sexy Rachel."

"_Fiiinnnn_," she moans, "Baby please!"

"What d'you want baby?" He pants, "Do you wanna come?"

"I'm so close," she begs. "_More_!"

She screams when he releases one hand from her hips, grabbing a handful of her hair and pulling her back towards him until he can talk directly in her ear. He moves his other hand down to her aching folds, finding her most sensitive spot and rubbing her in circular motions as she moans louder against him.

"I want you to come for me harder than you've ever come for anyone before," he orders. "_For anyone_."

"_Oh God_!" she cries and he knows he has her right where he wants her, so close to finally surrendering completely.

"_Come for me Rachel_," he growls, feeling her body snap immediately, his own body surrendering simultaneously. He can't breathe for a moment, everything going black around him as he feels like he's free falling, the most amazing sensations coursing through his veins as she leans back against him, small moans leaving her mouth as she struggles to recover.

"That..." she pants. "That was...you're..._God Finn_ you're so..."

He smiles in complete satisfaction, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her slowly. He can't possibly imagine ever getting enough of this girl.

"Really fucking amazing," he grins into her kiss, not letting himself care about anything at the moment except this tiny bombshell in his arms.

"Hmmm you're something else Finn Hudson," she giggles into his kiss, both sighing when she hears his phone ringing in his pocket.

"It's just Puck," he groans, probably calling to talk to him more about his big plans for this weekend. "I swear it's like he has a radar that goes off every time we're together."

"Maybe," she laughs, pulling away from him to grab her panties and put herself back together. "I guess we should probably go."

"Let's eat first," he suggests, not anywhere near ready to let her leave again just yet.

"But won't you be late?" She asks.

"Who cares, being a few minutes late won't hurt anything," he winks, the wide beam that spreads across her face making his stomach twist in crazy ways.

He grabs her a fork, hoisting her up onto the counter where she crosses her legs daintily and eats his side salad. He stands directly beside her, facing her as he scarfs down his patty melt, famished from their rigorous lunch time activities. She scrunches her nose at him playfully as she steals a couple of his fries, the comfortable silence between them bringing Finn an indescribable sense of comfort he's never experienced before.

"I like you," she announces suddenly, face flushing pink from the obviously accidental confession. "I mean, I really enjoy spending time with you."

"I really like you too," he winks, cocking his head to the side and kissing her softly once.

"What are your plans for Saturday night?" She asks, a hopeful gleam in her eyes.

"I'm being drug out by Puck," he answers nervously, not really wanting to fully explain Puck's intentions. "Why?"

"Well Jake's best friend from college is coming into town, Ryder I'm sure you heard," she adds uncomfortably. "Anyways they're going to be out all night. I'll be all alone."

Finn nearly groans out loud from the look in her eyes, the fact that they've just had sex twice in the last hour doing nothing to quell his excitement about the possibility of spending Saturday night alone with her, possibly even making him _more_ excited at the thought.

Like clock work his phone dings in his pocket, smiling apologetically at Rachel as he fishes it out to read the message.

"Oh my God it's like he has my place wired or something," Finn groans.

"What's wrong?"

Finn holds the phone up for Rachel, rolling his eyes at his friends text as she reads Puck's words.

**Don't even try to back out on Saturday asshole. Maverick and Iceman like old times brother**

"Oh," she pouts, visibly deflating a bit. "What does he want to do?"

"Uhhh," Finn starts, not knowing what to say so simply leaving the word hanging in the air awkwardly.

"What Finn?" She asks, "You can tell me."

"Uh he wants," he rubs at the back of his neck nervously before just spitting it out. "He's on a mission to get me laid."

"_What_?" She asks, color draining from her face as she looks at him with wide eyes.

"I never go out with him anymore, not like I used to, so he thinks I never have sex," he explains awkwardly.

"But you are?" She questions with a bit of hostility, sitting her salad down and making his palms sweat as she crosses her arms under her chest. "You're having lots of sex are you?"

"Only with _you_," he says as if it should be obvious. "You know that."

"Do I?" She asks, jealousy flashing in her eyes that somehow manages to both make him swell with pride and piss him off.

"_Yes_, are you being serious?"

"Well I don't know Finn, you're going out on Saturday with the one and only intention of '_getting laid_'," she scoffs, irritating him further with her use of air quotes.

"Do you think that's what I want?" He asks, voice dangerously low as he completely closes the small space between them. "I don't want that at all Rachel. I want to tell Puck to fuck off because I'm having the best sex off my life right now with the hottest woman on the planet but I can't...because you're _married_...to his _brother_."

"Finn," she whispers, features dropping immediately as she hangs her head in shame. "I'm so sorry."

"Rachel," he sighs, placing his hands gently against her legs. "It's okay, but you know that feeling that's nagging at you right now? That's what it's like for me, everyday. _Everyday_ Rach."

"I haven't slept with Jake since I met you," she whispers, looking up to him with sad eyes and he can't help but reach out and cup her face, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe away the stray tears on her cheeks. His frustration is forgotten as he sees the pain in her eyes. He would do _anything_ to change their situation and take that pain away...to take his own pain away.

"Are you serious?" He asks, furrowing his brow at her confession. She simply nods, placing one of her hands over his as she nuzzles her face into his palm. His heart swells at the action but he knows it's not that simple. "And how long do you think you can keep that up for Rach?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's your _husband_ Rachel and speaking from experience I know it's virtually impossible to be around you and not want to _be_ with you."

"It's not the same with him, you know," she sniffs. "Not even close."

He has to stop himself from smiling at her words, relief washing over him as she finally reveals an answer he's been going crazy for. "But you're still _you_," he says softly, caressing her face. "And I can guarantee you he wants you."

"I'll avoid it as long as I can," she exhales, her breath shaky as she smiles a sad smile at him. "And then cross that bridge when I get there."

"I know baby," he whispers, kissing her forehead before looking directly into her eyes. "And you should know there's only one woman I want and she's right here, okay?"

"Okay," she mouths, face still etched with tension.

"I'm not going to hook up with anyone on Saturday, I'll deal with Puck somehow. Please don't worry about this," he assures her.

"Okay," she nods again, finally smiling slowly as he smiles back at her. "I'm sorry Finn I just-"

"It's okay," he interrupts gently, punctuating his words with a kiss. "Trust me, I know."

"You're amazing you know that?" She asks softly.

"_You_ are," he shakes his head. "And don't think this means you can make other plans Saturday. I'm gonna find a way to get to you."

"Good," she grins, Finn closing his eyes and savoring every last second he has with her before they both have to leave. "I was really hoping you'd say that."


	7. Pins and Needles on my Tongue

**Again, you guys are awesome! So much love for you all!**

**Special shoutout to my Twitter homies for putting up with my own special brand of weird. You gals are the bees knees. :)**

**Opening quote and title from "Heartbeat Song" by Kelly Clarkson.**

* * *

><p><em>"I, I wasn't even gonna go out,<em>

_But I never would've had a doubt_

_If I'd have known where I'd be now._

_Your hands on hips and my kiss on your lips_

_Oh I could do this for a long time..."_

"She loves to laugh, she loves to sing, she does everything..." The lyrics flow freely from Rachel's mouth as she submerges her hands in the soapy dishwater, cleaning up the mess from her and Jake's Saturday lunch before heading into the theater for the night. She's happy, a bit giddy if she's being honest, her good mood the product of a string of cheeky text messages she received from Finn earlier while Jake was otherwise occupied with a heated eBay war over who knows what.

"You're singing again."

Rachel jumps a little at the sound of her husband's voice, turning to shoot him an embarrassed smile over her shoulder as she wonders how long he's been in the room without her realizing.

"You haven't sang in a long time," he says softly, leaning against the kitchen table as his eyes stay on hers.

"What are you talking about, I sing everyday," she shrugs, turning back to the dirty dishes.

"No I mean just for you. You used to sing all the time...now, well I can't even remember the last time I heard you sing when it wasn't for work."

"Oh..." Rachel stops, unsure of how to respond to his comments. It doesn't take a rocket scientist for Rachel to figure out what change has inspired her to sing again...

"I didn't even know you liked Journey," he mutters, so soft Rachel's unsure if it's even meant for her to hear. The thoughtfulness etched across his features make her already wet palms sweat, the way he seems to be mulling over this revelation making her awfully uncomfortable in the worst way possible.

"I've always liked Journey," she smiles, trying her hardest to make it genuine. Truth be told, she just downloaded Journey's Greatest Hits album yesterday morning after Finn told her they were his favorite band and she's been listening to it non stop ever since. Of course she knew who they were before but was never really a "fan" until she heard the excitement and nostalgia in Finn's voice as he described growing up listening to the music with his mother, later carrying his love for them all throughout school and into adulthood. She craves these little tidbits about Finn, grabbing onto them and holding tight every time he allows her a new one. She knows its silly, wrong even, but listening to Finn's music makes her feel closer to him, even when he's across town, miles away in his own apartment.

"Hmmm," Jake hums, pushing off the table and taking slow steps until he's directly behind her, hands resting at her hips. She bites down on the inside of her cheek, wanting so badly to ask him to step back but knowing that would seem odd to him as this has always been perfectly normal behavior between the two of them in the past. "Do you need any help?"

"Uhm, no I'm almost finished," she answers, trying so hard to sound natural and relaxed but knowing she's failing miserably when Jake's hands move to her shoulders, massaging lightly.

"Why're you so tense babe?" He asks softly. "Relax."

"I'm fine," she assures him, the guilt throbbing inside of her making her sick. Like an incessant headache it's always there, slowly chipping away at her sanity, at it's absolute worst when she's alone with Jake, wishing he were Finn. She doesn't know what to do with these emotions...there's no book for this, no self-help pamphlet that will give her the answer. How do you tell someone you love that they've done nothing wrong but that they simply are not "the one" as you once thought they may be?

How does she break Jake's heart for no other reason than the fact that he is not Finn Hudson?

"Why don't you leave these for later and let me help you relax some before work?" Jake whispers in her ear, Rachel squeezing her eyes shut and praying she can come up with an excuse he'll buy. She can feel her muscles go rigid at his words, her body betraying her secret as it practically screams at Jake to take a step back.

"I don't really have time Jake." The words surprise Rachel as they tumble out of her mouth, a jumble of syllables she creates after her mind goes completely blank. "You know how Will is about punctuality."

"Will's a man, something tells me he'll understand," he reasons, pressing soft kisses along her neck.

"Jake, I'm sorry, you know how I hate to be late," she argues, draining the sink and quickly moving away from him as she grabs a towel to dry off her hands.

"Rachel it's been like a _yeaaaaar_," he groans, shoulders slumping in defeat. "You're killing me here..."

"Oh don't be such a drama queen Jake," she rolls her eyes. "It's only been a few weeks. We've had conflicting schedules that's all."

"And you're making zero effort when we_ are_ home at the same time," Jake counters, following behind her as she heads to the bathroom and begins brushing her teeth.

"Fine Jake, let's go," she spits through a mouthful of toothpaste. "I'm totally bloated from those muffins at breakfast, _oh don't look at me like that_ you know how I get when I eat gluten! I'm bloated and rushed, I don't feel the _least bit_ sexy, but _please_, let's have sex!"

"Oh my God forget it," Jake grumbles, turning and heading back to the bedroom. She exhales loudly through her nose, closing her eyes to allow herself a minute to calm her nerves before rinsing out her mouth. If she's being honest with herself, she's been more than a little aroused all afternoon, fighting off the effects of Finn's texts but she can't do that with Jake right now...not after she made such a big deal to Finn about sleeping with other people and she's completely unprepared mentally to go there with him anyways. She bites back a groan at the complexity of her situation, wishing desperately for the answer to just fall from the sky into her lap and make this all easy.

"Jake, I'm sorry," she apologizes softly as she walks back into their bedroom.

"It's okay," he sighs, rubbing his face in frustration. "I don't want you to if you don't want to, I just...I wish you wanted to, that's all."

She frowns deeply from the disappointment in his voice. They've never had a physical relationship like she and Finn do, she never knew sex that intense and passionate existed outside of movies and books until the first time she gave in to her desire for him, but its never been_ bad_ with Jake. For years he's kept her perfectly satisfied and would probably still be doing so if she'd never met Finn. She knows he's far more attractive than the average man and she's always enjoyed the intimacy sex with him provided her, but she doesn't know how to go back to that after what she knows now. How will just "good" ever be good enough again?

"Hey why don't you come out with me and Ryder tonight?" Jake asks suddenly, face alight with inspiration. "Maybe some good drinks and good music will help you relax some?"

"I would," she answers nervously, picking at imaginary lint on her leggings. "But I've already made plans with the girls."

"The girls?"

"Yeah, uhm you know, Quinn and them," she shrugs, busying herself with putting on her shoes instead of looking Jake in the eyes as she lies to him again. "Besides, I always end up feeling like the awkward third wheel with you guys. It's like you're on a date and I'm just in the way."

Jake chuckles a little at this, Rachel breathing a tiny sigh of relief that at least he's not mad at her.

"You're right," he laughs, catching her by surprise as she reaches for her hairbrush. "We should introduce him to Tina, don't you think?"

"Tina?" she laughs, the sound quickly dying on her tongue as she watches Jake reach for her cell phone.

"Yeah its perfect! She just got dumped right? We could go out all together, you two have this new found bond or whatever and that way you wont feel left out!"

"Ryder doesn't even live in the city," she chokes out, unsure of how she's even forming words over the violent blows to her chest courtesy of her terrified heart. She knows what she's gotten herself into, she knows Jake will find out about Finn one day, but it can't be today and it _can't_ be like this. He deserves more from her than reading it in a text.

"Why's your phone locked?" he asks, confused.

"What're you doing?" she responds, ignoring his question.

"I was gonna forward Tina's contact to me so I could give it to Ryder, but seriously, since when do you have a pass code on your phone?"

"I-I told you the other day," she stutters, placing her hands on her hips when Jake looks at her doubtfully. "I swear you never listen to a word I say Jake Puckerman!" she huffs, snatching the phone from his hands.

"Rachel you never told me anything," he argues, frustration obvious on his face.

"I told you about that creepy stagehand they had to fire because he kept stealing stuff," she mumbles, making the words up as she goes, her fingers moving like lightening as she deletes Finn's texts and pulls up Tina's contact. "Will told us to make everything as secure as possible, just as a precaution. There, I sent it."

"You literally never told me that," he challenges, eyes dropping to the phone in her hands.

"I did," she lies again, shame burning her insides at how easily the lies are flowing at this point. "What? You want to look through my phone? You can, _here_!"

They stare at each other for a moment, Rachel's pulse racing despite the fact she just erased any evidence of her relationship with Finn. She still remembers the words that were exchanged, still worries they'll reveal themselves despite being wiped clean. Regardless, she holds Jake's gaze confidently, hand steady as she holds the phone out to him.

Finally he sighs, looking away as he holds his hands up in surrender. "I don't want to look through your phone Rachel. I guess I just forgot."

"Okay," she whispers, afraid if she says too much he'll notice the trembling in her voice and start an argument.

"You better get going so you won't be late. Have a good night at work," he says quietly, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. "And be safe tonight. I'll text you before then though."

She nods, kissing his cheek quickly before racing from the confines of her suddenly suffocating apartment. She's beyond grateful to have work tonight to get her away from Jake for a little while and even more grateful that it will distract her from worrying about what Finn's doing with Puck every five seconds. She silently scolds herself for allowing her thoughts to so quickly shift to Finn after the very nerve wracking afternoon she just had at home, but she's beginning to realize that's just how things are these days...everything is Finn.

She arrives at the theater and prepares for the show fairly mindlessly, doing it night after night has pretty much set the routine on auto pilot for Rachel at this point. Once it's show time she does her best to channel all of her frustration and fear over Finn and Jake and _life_ in general into her performance and ends the night feeling wildly confident about the quality of show she just put on for the packed house. She smiles to herself as she heads towards her dressing room to transform back into Rachel, proud of the way she's pushed through her boredom and found a productive outlet for her over active emotions.

She stills immediately when she finds a man waiting for her inside her dressing room, her heart skipping a beat but then quickly sinking in disappointment when she realizes he's not Finn. She swallows down a bitter sigh, images of him making out with super models in a crowded club as Puck cheers them on flashing in her mind and making her nauseous before the stranger speaks, effectively snapping her back to reality.

"Rachel Berry, it's a pleasure."

Rachel looks up at the face of the handsome Latin man holding his hand out to her in greeting, her eyes growing wide in recognition as she shakes his offered hand.

"I'm sorry, are you Benny Delgado?" she asks in disbelief.

"Ah you know me," he smiles politely. "That just might make what I came here to do that much easier for me. Please Ms. Berry, have a seat."

Rachel quickly sits as he suggests, eager to hear what he has to say and a little more than star struck that _Benny Delgado_ himself is in her dressing room, much less even knows she exists.

"You were phenomenal tonight. I've had my eye on you for a long time now Rachel. It is okay I call you Rachel, yes?" She nods quickly in agreement, anxious to hear what's brought him there to speak with her. "You've been on my radar for awhile Rachel and I must say, you get better every time I see you."

"Thank you so much, that really means a great deal coming from you."

"I'm a very busy man Rachel and I'm sure you're a very busy woman so I'll cut right to the chase. I want you in my new movie."

"You...you what?" Rachel gasps, jaw dropping in shock.

"You're a Broadway veteran, you've proven your chops night after night for years and what I just saw out there? That was one hell of an audition."

"Are you...are you saying I..." Rachel finds herself having difficulty completing her sentence, afraid the excitement bubbling in her stomach will spill over and frighten Benny away.

"I'm saying its time to branch out. You've conquered Broadway, how about setting your sights on the next big thing? Why limit yourself? You have the talent to be the next Barbra Streisand and I believe I have just the role to make that happen. And maybe I'm a little selfish. I want my movie perfect and you're exactly what this character needs."

"I don't...I don't know what to say," she exhales, eyes alight with wonder. "This is amazing and so, so unexpected I'm just-"

"Surprised?" Benny laughs, "I know. I like having the element of surprise on my side. So how about this, think it over and we'll meet at my office on Monday?"

Rachel smiles wide as he hands her his card, standing when he does and following him to the door. "Be there at ten thirty," he instructs. "The part is yours Rachel, all you have to do is say yes."

He nods his head, a charming smile lighting up his face as he exits and disappears down the hallway, leaving a flustered Rachel in her doorway, unsure if what just happened was real or all just a figment of her imagination.

A movie role? Just for her? How long has she wanted this?

She can't help herself as an excited squeal escapes her mouth, accidentally startling Mercedes Jones of the costume department as she passes by. Rachel smiles apologetically before running to grab her phone, completely unable to think of anything else except telling Finn what just happened. He's not going to be able to believe this! She smiles when she sees a new text from him already waiting for her, a frown quickly taking its place when she remembers their little predicament. She purses her lips in thought for a moment, sending him a quick response before a lightening bolt of inspiration rushes through through her and has her grinning like a mad woman.

"Mercedes!" she yells down the hallway, hoping she can catch the costume guru before it's too late.

If she's going to put her plan into action, she's going to need a little help.

* * *

><p>"Alright man, just hit me up and I'll let you know where we're at. Later."<p>

"Who was that?" Finn asks, turning to Puck as he hangs up his phone and slides it into his back pocket.

"The Jakester, he's headed out tonight too. May come meet up with us."

"Really?" Finn asks, swallowing down the bitter taste the thought of Jake leaves in his mouth.

"Yeah man, I don't know why you care though, you're gonna be too busy scoping out your next conquest," Puck grins, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "Maybe we can find some twins."

"Yeah maybe," Finn grumbles, feeling a little discouraged by all of this. He still hasn't come up with a plan to successfully get to Rachel tonight and now he'll probably even end up having to hang out with her stupid husband. This is so not how he imagined this night going...like, _at all_.

"You ready? You got your box?" Puck asks, one hand on the doorknob.

"My what?"

"Your box. _Your condoms dude_," Puck explains, exaggerating his words.

"Who carries around a jumbo box of condoms with them?" Finn asks, sometimes just really unsure of how Puck survives in the world with his logic.

"A man who means business, that's who."

"I've got enough," Finn assures him, giving himself one last glance in the mirror before following his friend out into the night air.

He can't help but chuckle when he looks up and sees Puck posing goofily beside a a black town car. _Of course_ they're taking a chauffeured car out tonight.

"I've got our dd covered tonight brother so drinks are on me," Puck grins, hopping into the back seat of their chauffeured ride and leaving the door open for Finn. "Chicks dig this kinda shit too. Makes them feel really special or something...and you know what happens when the hunnies feel special. Tonight's gonna be a breeze player!"

Finn chuckles, if only at the child like excitement illuminating his friend's face. He's an absolute idiot but Finn loves him anyway. He kind of hates the fact that he has to keep this secret from him, especially a secret as big as this. Rachel's not just a hook up, she's...she's..._God_ he doesn't even know how to explain her. He _hates_ that he can't tell Puck. He _hates_ that Puck likes Jake so freaking much. He _hates_ Jake.

_Fuck Jake_.

He has to stop himself from groaning out loud in frustration. Getting worked up right now is not going to solve any of his problems, he knows that, he just needs to focus on his plan. Getting to Rachel is all that matters to him tonight. He's learning he has to take this all one day at a time or it overwhelms him. Today he just wants to be with her and he's not gonna focus on any of the bigger picture.

He's gonna try at least.

He relaxes his hands when he realizes they're balled into tight fists at his sides, grabbing his phone when Puck answers a call of his own, using the free second to send Rachel a text. He knows she's on stage right now, but he just wants it to be there waiting for her when she returns to her dressing room to let her know he's thinking of her.

**I know you did amazing tonight, I can't wait to hear all about it. Miss you.**

He slips his phone back in his pocket, content to listen to music and chat casually with Puck until they arrive at their destination. He sighs heavily once they pull up to the club, the place already packed and pulsating with drunken New Yorkers and he literally could not want to be somewhere else more if he tried. Puck cuts to the front of the line once they get out, Finn smirking in spite of himself at the way Puck winks at the female fans as he passes by, thankful at least that clubbing with Puck has some pretty sweet advantages. A busty red head meets them at the door and directs them back towards the VIP area, Puck immediately downing a drink the second the cocktail waitress offers him one.

"Drink up Hudson, you're too tense," Puck yells over the music, extending a glass filled to the top with some unrecognizable brown liquid for Finn to take.

He watches him for a second, pursing his lips before he says "Fuck it", snatching the glass from Puck and slamming it back in one gulp.

"Woah!" He breathes, shaking his head and coughing at the burning sensation the liquid leaves trailing down this throat. "_Shit_, what was that?!"

"It was the party starter brother," Puck smirks. "Time to have some fun!"

Finn's definitely feeling a little tipsy by the time he finally feels his phone buzz in his pocket, eagerly yanking it out to read the words he hopes are from Rachel.

**I miss you too! Do I still get to see you tonight?**

His heart flutters in his chest as he re-reads the message, a feeling he's come to associate with Rachel these past few weeks. He shakes his head trying to the clear the light fog lingering over him, knowing he's going to have to switch to water if he's going to keep himself together enough to follow through with his as of yet un-planned plan.

**I hope. I wish you could come here. It would be more fun with you.**

It's only a few seconds before she responds, Finn not even having the chance to put his phone away before it's buzzing again in his palm.

**Where are you?**

**McKinley's. It's Puck's favorite. Why?**

**I have a plan ;)**

The flutters turn into a stampede of heartbeats as Finn tries to figure out what she means. She doesn't respond when he asks, finally giving up and figuring he'll see soon enough since she's obviously got a little secret she doesn't want to share. He kills some time around the bar where he orders a glass of water, telling Puck its vodka when he later finds him again on the crowded dance floor. He doesn't know why Puck asks for a VIP booth when he always ends up in the middle of everyone anyways, but he doesn't care as Puck nods in approval and turns back to the blonde dancing in front of him.

Never one for dancing himself, Finn turns and heads back to have a seat at the booth when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket again. He eagerly grabs it, a nervous half smile forming on his face when he reads Rachel's text.

**Come to the bar**

Come to the bar? She's not there...is she? There's no way she would risk this, she's way too smart. But something's waiting for him at the bar, right? He rubs the back of his neck nervously before sitting down his water and pushing his way back through the crowd until the bar comes into sight.

He slows his steps as he studies the bodies there. He doesn't see anything that stands out, doesn't know where to go until his eyes land on one particular tiny pair of black leather pants. His dick twitches as he studies the legs and ass the fabric clings to.

There's no doubt in his mind whose body that is.

His eyes slowly travel further up after he gives himself a moment to appreciate the view, his brow furrowing as he takes in the long blonde curls sweeping across her back, a tight black shirt covering her arms and keeping her almost completely covered. This isn't how Rachel dresses, he's not sure he's ever seen her in pants before at all now that he thinks about it, but he figures that's probably the point. That's her and he knows it.

He eagerly pushes his way towards her then, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and dropping his mouth to her ear, "You expecting someone ma'am?"

She squeals in delight at having been found, pulling his face down to hers for a short but passionate kiss before turning in his arms to face him. He smiles down at her as she leans against the bar, both of his hands resting on either side of her.

"How'd you recognize me so fast? I wanted to have a little more fun with this," she giggles, fingers toying with the belt loops on Finn's jeans.

"Hmmm," he chuckles, leaning down to kiss her again. "I'd know that ass anywhere baby. You should wear pants more often."

"You like my look?" She grins, Finn taking a moment to study her face. She has in green contacts and her nose looks a little different than usual but he figure it's just her make up. She looks hot no doubt, he thinks it's probably impossible for her not to, but he definitely prefers the real Rachel.

"You always look good," he says softly. "But nothing's sexier to me than just Rachel."

"Perfect answer," she whispers, grabbing his shirt and pulling him towards her soft lips, immediately slipping her tongue in his mouth and making him moan from the feeling.

"_Fuck_ I've missed you so much," he admits between deep, intense kisses, their surroundings disappearing around them completely until someone trips and crashes into them, knocking them apart. "You okay Rach?" He asks hurriedly, sighing in relief when she giggles up at him in response.

"I'm perfect."

"Hey let's go somewhere else," he suggests, his smile frozen in place from the sexy little surprise in front of him. He can't believe she did this.

"One thing," she says, holding up her finger before turning around and grabbing two glasses.

"Champagne?" He asks, confused as she leads the way to an empty spot in the corner.

"Champagne," she nods, leaning back against the wall and pulling him towards her once she's set the glasses back down. "Don't you wanna know why I'm here?"

"I kinda thought it was because you couldn't wait any longer to see me," he winks, chuckling when her cheeks pink and she rewards him with a soft kiss.

"That's the main reason," she smirks. "But there is one more."

"I'm all ears."

"Well I had my friend from the costume department help with this," she gestures towards herself, blushing a bit as Finn's eyes follow the trail of her hand. "Because I got some exciting news today and I wanted to tell you in person! I haven't told anyone yet and I'm about to burst!"

His heart swells at her beautiful features, glowing joyfully as she practically bounces in front of him in excitement.

"I'm the first person you wanted to tell?" He asks, biting his bottom lip as her face softens and she smiles at him angelically.

"Of course Finn."

He can't help himself as he leans down and captures her lips with his own, pouring all of his emotions into this one kiss until they're both pulling back, dazed and breathless.

"_Wow_."

"Tell me your news baby," he begs, nudging her cheek playfully with his nose until she starts laughing.

"Finn," she grins, studying his eyes before slowly saying, "Benny Delgado offered me a role in his new movie today."

"_What_?" He almost yells, feeling like his heart is about to burst open from the amount of pride radiating from deep within its core. He's never felt anything like this for another person before. "Rachel are you serious?"

"Yes, he was waiting for me after the show. Said the part is mine, all I have to do is say yes!"

"Baby that's incredible!" He shouts, lifting her up and spinning her around, her excited squeals and his laughter echoing in the small corner around them. "You said yes right?!"

"I...uhm, not yet," she breathes, avoiding his gaze as he sets her back down on the ground. "I'm meeting with him Monday."

"Isn't this what you want?" He asks, softly pushing a lock of her blonde curls behind her ear and nudging her chin up to look at him.

"_So much_," she whispers, the hesitance in her eyes making Finn sick to his stomach. He hates the man that put that there.

"Then _do it,_" he says, trying his hardest to convey his belief in her through his tone. "Don't let anyone stop you from going after your dreams Rach. _No one_."

"What if I'm not as good as they think I am?" She asks, the look on her face melting away his previous frustration as he starts to chuckle.

"_That's_ what you're worried about?" He teases, laughing harder when her jaw drops open in disbelief.

"Finn!"

"You're _amazing_ Rachel," he assures her, hands cupped around her face as he stares directly into her eyes. "There's no possible way that could ever be an issue. Trust me."

Her smile grows slowly until it's spread wide across her face in her signature, mega watt beam, Finn's breath catching in his throat as he basks in her glow. He never wants to be anywhere else ever again.

"You're perfect," she grins. "And I do."

"You do what?"

"Trust you," she answers as if it's the most simple truth in the world.

He's speechless as she smiles sweetly, the divine torture this woman feeds him pumping through his veins and making him feel like he could take on the entire world right now and not even break a sweat.

"Rachel," he breathes, unable to finish his sentence as she presses her index finger against his lips and nibbles teasingly on her own.

"Wait," she giggles. "We haven't toasted to my good news yet."

His heart hammers wildly as he watches her turn and grab the forgotten glasses of champagne, holding one out to him and raising hers expectantly.

"To new beginnings," she smiles. "To chasing dreams and to following your heart."

"To Rachel," he adds, grinning like a fool as she clinks her glass with his, giggling as they both take long, deep gulps from their glasses.

"Follow your heart, huh? What's your heart telling you to do right now Rachel?" He whispers, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her flush against him.

"This," she breathes, pressing her lips against his and kissing him long and hard.

"Good...s'good," he approves between kisses. "Keep following your heart baby."

She puts her hands gently on his chest, pushing back slightly with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"My heart wants to dance."

"Oh..._Oooh no_, no I don't dance," Finn steps back slightly, horrified at the idea of being drug out onto the dance floor. He considers himself a pretty awful dancer as it is, he definitely doesn't want to show Rachel and be compared to her professional dancer of a husband.

"You don't dance?" She giggles, pulling him back against her.

"No...I mean, I don't as in I-I can't," he stutters.

"Finn," she says softly, the seductive smile playing on her lips tempting him to do anything and everything she asks him to, including dance. "I don't believe that."

"You don't?"

"No one that has moves like you do in the bedroom can be that awful on the dance floor," she reasons, her tone suddenly husky and encouraging all of his blood to flee his brain and head immediately south.

"Rach, seriously..."

"Maybe you've just always had the wrong partner," she shrugs, leaning up to place a soft, lingering kiss against his lips. "Dance with me for a little bit and I'll let you take me home so I can show you some of the moves I've been keeping from you."

"You play dirty Rachel," he smirks, finally allowing a giggling Rachel to grab his hand and lead them out onto the dance floor.

She's beaming as she wraps her arms around his neck and starts moving her hips to the music. He's not even sure if he's moving at all, too mesmerized by the image of Rachel dancing across from him to notice much of anything else. It's still odd to him to watch her with blonde hair and green eyes, but the energy radiating from her is unmistakably Rachel and he greedily allows it to intoxicate him as its done time and time again.

She winks at him when his eyes move back up to her face, spinning around and pushing her back against his chest as she continues to dance freely, singing along with the music as if it's her own song. His hands drop to her hips without thought, his fingers squeezing tightly as she grinds against him steadily. He feels his breathing speed up, she knows what this does to him and she's playing an awfully dangerous game right here in the middle of this crowded dance floor.

"I like dancing with you," she tilts her head and tells him, looping her hands back around his neck, making his mouth practically water as the action lifts her shirt slightly, exposing a portion of her toned abdomen. "Just do what feels natural."

"I don't think you want me to do what feels natural to me right here Rach," he warns her, loving the way she visibly flushes and licks her lips in response. Before he knows it she's turned in his arms again and has her mouth at his ear.

"There's always time for dancing later. Take me home Finn."

Finn grins triumphantly before wrapping his arms around her and pushing his way towards the door. It's difficult navigating through the crowd with Rachel attached to his neck the way she is, but her lips feel so fucking good against him that he refuses to ask to her to stop.

His steps slow a bit when he eyes Puck, his friend's eyes radiating with pride as he catches sight of Finn with a tiny blonde hanging from around his neck. Finn gestures towards the door to let Puck know he's leaving, Puck nodding his head in understanding before turning to say something to the guy next to him.

Finn's stomach drops in dread when the stranger turns to look at him and he realizes it's Jake. Jake nods his head at him in greeting, raising his eyebrows as he unknowingly gives his wife an approving once over. Rachel's busy giving him what's sure to be a ridiculous hickey under his ear but he lets her, not wanting to risk her turning around and allowing Jake to catch a glimpse of her face. How that tool doesn't recognize his own wife's fucking amazing backside he has no clue, but he doubts he'd be able to look at those lips of hers and not get suspicious.

He keeps pushing through the crowd until they get outside, Finn wrestling with whether he should tell Rachel about Jake or not. He doesn't want to, doesn't want to ruin this mood she's in at all, but he doesn't want her to ever think he's lying or keeping things from her. He's sure she'll hear from Jake later how he saw him last night with Puck and he knows that would upset her.

He steps towards the curb and easily hails down a taxi, sighing heavily as he nudges Rachel off of him and nods towards the cab. She smiles in embarrassment, hopping into the back seat after he opens the door for her and smiling up at him expectantly. He bites back a groan, silently cursing Jake Puckerman for ever existing in the first place as he slides in next to her.

He can feel Rachel's confused eyes on him as he gives the driver his address, sighing again as he turns and looks at her.

"What's wrong?" She asks nervously, turning in her seat to face him more.

"Uh, I just saw Jake," he admits, watching as the color drains from her face. "I mean, he didn't- he didn't see you...not your face at least."

"What do you mean? Where? Where was he?" She asks frantically.

"Calm down Rach, he literally gave me a thumbs up, he didn't know it was you," Finn tells her, a little bit amused despite the situation by the look on her face from that last bit of information. "He was with Puck in the club."

"Oh," is all she says, turning to rest her back against the seat and looking out the window silently.

Finn rubs his temples in frustration, wondering if he did the right thing by telling her when she turns back to him. "Thank you for telling me."

"I'm always gonna be honest with you Rach."

"Thank you," she mouths, leaning over to kiss him softly. "You sure he didn't know it was me?"

"Pretty sure all he saw was blonde hair sucking on my neck," he winks, chuckling when she giggles at herself, Finn so, so relieved this hasn't ruined their night.

"I think I left a mark," she teases, tickling the spot on his neck softly.

"S'okay," he shrugs. "I like your marks."

"Good," she whispers, their eyes meeting and holding the other's gaze, silent understanding passing between them that they won't bring him up again, not wanting to ruin their night. He's blown away once again at this crazy connection they have, wanting to lose himself in those gorgeous, chocolate pools of hers but having his attention snapped away when the cab driver barks at him over his shoulder.

He tosses some money in the front seat, taking Rachel's hand and leading her into his building. They're silent as they step into the elevator, Rachel standing slightly ahead of him as the doors shut and they're left alone with just each other...each other and the palpable electricity swirling around them.

He takes a few slow steps until he's standing behind her right shoulder, leaning down to place slow, barely there kisses along her neck. She shudders beneath his touch when he brings one hand up and covers her chest, slowly sliding its way up her neck as his mouth moves towards hers. She spins into him once their mouths meet, his hands working their way around her neck as they kiss deep and passionate, fanning their desire from a small spark into a raging wildfire.

Something feels different about this night to him as the elevator dings and he pulls back to look at her, silently taking her hand again as he guides them to his door. It's a good different, what he feels, but an intense different. This scares him a little as he wonders how the hell this thing between them could intensify anymore and they both survive.

They don't take their eyes off one another as Finn closes the door and sits down his keys, the temperature in the room sweltering despite the cool air blowing from the vent above them.

"Do you want a drink?" He asks, the words surprising even himself as Rachel smirks at him seductively.

"No," she whispers, swinging her hips slowly as she walks towards him. "No Finn, I don't want a drink."

He moans into her when she pulls him back down to her, their mouths picking up right where they left off in the elevator. Finn's hands move slowly up her back, wanting so badly to feel her skin against his, needing for her to be Rachel again.

As if she's reading his mind, she pulls back suddenly, a sly grin on her face as she tells him to wait right there. Like he'd ever dream about being anywhere else.

Every last inch of him is alive with excitement, his fingers dancing in anticipation as they hang at his sides, eager to feel her again. She emerges slowly from around the corner, her brown hair flowing down her sides in messy waves, chocolate eyes dancing with lust. It's a sight that knocks the breath out of him, almost falling to his knees in worship as she takes her time walking back over to him.

"I'm back," she whispers once she's directly in front of him, teasing him with her proximity as her words allow her lips to briefly sweep against his.

"_My Rachel_," he breathes, sliding his fingers through her soft locks as he studies her face. "There's no one more beautiful than you."

She kisses him then, forgetting everything else in the world as they meld together in this passionate dance that both feels so familiar to Finn yet always keeps him guessing. She grabs onto his open shirt, pushing it down his arms until he's left only in his tee shirt, making quick work of that as well as she grins up at him.

"I believe I promised you some new moves tonight didn't I?" She asks, eyebrow quirked in question.

He can't answer as her fingers work on his pants, pulling them down with his boxers before pushing him backwards onto the couch. He wraps his hand around his already throbbing erection, squeezing as she stands before him and slowly strips off her own shirt.

She keeps her eyes on him as she unclasps her bra, allowing the straps to slide down her arms slowly, before falling completely to the floor. Finn licks his lips as her perky breasts come into view, his entire body on fire as he forces himself to resist the urge to reach out and grab her.

"Not yet Finn, you'll ruin the fun," she tuts, knowing exactly what he's thinking. She tosses her hair back seductively before dragging her fingers across the skin of her collarbone, allowing them to dance their way down to her nipples. It's almost too much for him as he watches her pinch and tease the tiny nubs, moaning as she cups the perky mounds in her hands and squeezes roughly.

"_Shit Rach_," he growls, unable to stop himself as he starts moving his hand up and down his rock hard shaft. It's a poor substitute for what he really wants, but it helps relieve the unbearable pressure that's building as she continues to tease him relentlessly.

"Do you think I'm sexy Finn?" She asks, her gaze heavy and intense as her hands keep working steadily against her breasts.

"_Fuck yes_," he answers without hesitation, panting as the air around them grows impossibly hotter. "_So_ fucking sexy."

"Tell me how much you want me," she purrs, sliding her hands down her tanned stomach, looping her thumbs under the waist of her pants and teasing him with the slow movements of her hips.

"_So fucking bad_ baby," he swears, knowing he needs to slow down but finding it impossible as she slides her pants down, revealing nothing underneath but skin. "_Shit Rachel_ I'm gonna fuck you so hard-"

"When I let you," she interrupts, smirking at him as she saunters in his direction, placing her hands on his knees and slowly kneeling before him. Finn's ragged breath catches in his throat when she reaches up and places her hand over his, stilling his actions. "Save some for me baby."

He falls backwards against the soft coach cushions the second she wraps her delicious mouth around his tip, a deep moan he doesn't even recognize echoing from the back of his throat as she quickly makes work of putting every other woman Finn's ever been with to embarrassing levels of shame.

He's pretty sure he's not breathing as she licks and sucks him like her very life depends on it, moaning against his hot skin as the room spins around him. He manages to lift his head eventually, wanting this image of Rachel's plump lips wrapped around his throbbing dick burned in his mind forever. He can't stop himself from reaching out and combing his fingers through her hair, an action that makes her look up and lock eyes with him. The sensations coursing through him only intensify as she keeps her eyes on his, taking him further and deeper than he even knew possible until he's exploding into her, moaning her name and a jumble of curse words as she easily takes everything he has to give.

He can't open his eyes as his head hits the back of the couch again, chest heaving as he feels Rachel slowly kissing her way up his body. The intensity of what just happened should have exhausted him, but he already feels his desire for her stirring deep inside him again as she crawls into his lap, straddling him between her toned legs and kissing softly along his neck.

"Those were _some_ fucking moves Rach, _shit_," he breathes, chuckling when he hears her giggling softly into his neck.

"Thank you," she laughs, hiding her face while he lifts his. He places his hands under her chin and lifts her head gently, loving the way she nibbles on her bottom as he studies her face silently.

"You're_ incredible_," he whispers, eagerly accepting the deep kiss she rewards him with, his hands dropping down to the ass he's been dying to feel since the moment he spotted it at the bar earlier, wrapped up like a perfect, black leather Christmas present.

She pulls back when she feels him hardening beneath her, leaning her forehead against his as she giggles, "Already?"

"You really don't have any idea what you do to me, do you?" he asks softly, massaging her skin beneath his rough palms, so eager to be inside her again. Thursday seems like lifetimes ago.

"Remind me," she urges, hungrily returning his kisses when he pulls her back down to him. She allows his hands to explore every inch of her skin he can get to, returning the favor and leaving a trail of fire in her fingers wake. He feels around him blindly, almost shouting in victory when he manages to grab onto the hem of his jeans, yanking them up beside him and fishing in his pocket until he pulls out what he needs. He nudges her to move, Rachel quickly catching on as she lifts herself and allows him to roll down the condom, watching on with hungry eyes until he pulls her back down quickly, sinking her over him.

She screams out as he does this, frantically pulling herself up again just so he can pull her right back down. They do this for what feels like hours, Finn yanking her down as her tight walls clench almost painfully tight around him, both drenched in sweat as their cries for one another bounce off the walls around them.

He can't get enough of the way she screams for him, wanting more and feeling desperate to work her into a frenzy, to make her scream his name even louder. Without thinking any further he stands up in one fluid motion, Rachel squealing in surprise before quickly adjusting and allowing Finn to pound into her relentlessly in a free stand.

He feels like a beast, an animal as Rachel bounces wildly over him, every last muscle of his straining as he suffocates in unimaginable pleasure. Somewhere in the back of his mind he has the fleeting thought that he won't be able to keep this up much longer, but something inexplicable happens when Rachel lifts her head, eyes open and boring directly into his. He thinks he may be about to pass out, he knows their movements are fast and frenzied but everything he sees around him is moving in slow motion.

Rachel, _beautiful Rachel_. She's all he sees and suddenly he can't fight it anymore. He can't keep pretending. He's been telling himself over and over again that it's not real, that'll it'll go away, but he knows that's not that the truth. He doesn't want her to be with Jake, he doesn't want her to be with _anyone_, not anyone that's not him.

He watches as her head falls back slowly, long brown hair whipping around wildly as his name flies off her tongue and he knows this is it.

_He is hopelessly and wholeheartedly in love with Rachel Berry._

The truth of his thoughts almost crushes him with their weight, everything coming back into focus for him and he knows he needs to get her somewhere else fast. He grunts as he starts moving in the direction of his bedroom, knowing it would be monumentally easier to just lay her down across the couch but needing so desperately to have her in his most private place, the place where he dreams and the only place he ever lets himself cry.

He lays her across his bed when his knees hit the mattress, separating from her as he watches her flushed body struggle for a breath, her dark hair fanned around her head. She writhes in need as he studies her, squeezing her legs together as she begs him to fill her again.

He crawls over her slowly, dangling his face right above hers, "You're so beautiful Rachel."

Her face softens at his words, her body relaxing slightly when positions himself between her hips, slowly pushing back into her. They cry out together, Finn capturing her hands above her head and threading his fingers through hers, needing to connect them in every physical way possible. Their movements aren't wild and rough anymore, instead they're slow and loving, Finn literally making love to her as the words bounce around, echoing in his head.

He kisses her softly once more, sliding their hands down closer to her head so he can prop himself up to better see into her eyes. "You're amazing Rachel, I'm so fucking proud of you."

"_Finn_," she breathes, cheeks flushed, still rolling her hips to meet his thrust for thrust.

"This just the beginning for you baby," he pants, kissing her between breaths. "_So fucking amazing_."

She moans loudly as he shifts a little to the side, his heart hammering in his chest as the words fight to come out. The faster they begin moving again the stronger the urge to say the words becomes until suddenly they're both falling apart, coming undone together as the words spill freely from his lips.

"_I love you_."

* * *

><p>The room is silent save for the sounds of their ragged breathing, both exhausted from their passionate round of love making...because that's what it was wasn't it? Finn told her he loved her after all didn't he?<p>

Her racing pulse does nothing to help her in her quest for regaining a steady breath, but Finn's voice playing in her head over and over, thick with pleasure as he says those three little words refuses to allow her heart to beat normally no matter how hard she tries.

_I love you_.

This should terrify her. She should turn and run as fast as she can back to her husband and pretend none of this ever happened. Pretend it was all one huge momentary lapse of judgement where she let the attention of an attractive man get to her more than she should have.

This should terrify her.

So why then is she so happy? Why does she feel like all of her problems are non existent and everything is right with the world because she's here, tangled up with Finn in his bed and he loves her...and _God_ does she love him back. She can pretend she doesn't as much as she wants. Pretend this is just because she's feeling underappreciated at home and she'll break things off soon and go to counseling with Jake like she should and they'll live happily ever after. But that's a lie. Those are _all lies_. There's no repairing what she's done to her marriage because she's_ in love with Finn Hudson_. She fell in love with him the moment she looked down the hallway backstage that fateful night and locked eyes with him. She didn't know who he was but she knew that she wanted to...knew that she _needed_ to know him.

He exhales a loud breath that snaps her out of her musings, his chest rising and falling slowly as he turns his head to look at her. She's suddenly terrified he's going to take the words back, horrified at the idea of him saying he didn't mean it, so she opens her mouth to speak before he can.

"Why couldn't I have met you first?"

He stares at her silently before squeezing his eyes shut and sighing, "I ask myself that same question everyday."

"Did you mean it?" She whispers, voice trembling from her nerves as she prepares herself for his answer.

His eyes fly open at the question, a million emotions flashing through them in a second before he looks down sadly, "I shouldn't have said it Rachel," he admits softly. "You're not mine and it was-"

"I _am_ yours," she says confidently, butterflies unleashing themselves inside her stomach from the look in Finn's eyes. "There's someone else...there's someone else and I don't have any idea what to do about that right now but I do know that my heart? My heart is yours Finn. And whether you-"

Her words are cut off by Finn's lips crashing into hers, both simultaneously smiling into each other as they taste and explore each other's mouths like its the very first time. They kiss until they're forced apart, gasping for air as Finn rests his forehead against hers, a shy half smile fighting for its rightful place as his mouth hangs open, sucking in all the air it can get.

"I was going to say," she giggles, running her hands slowly along Finn's bare back and pulling him closer to her. "It doesn't matter whether you take it back or not. I'm in love with you Finn, I have been since the very first day."

"God Rach, I love you _so much_," he breathes, her heart fluttering excitedly in her chest at the sound of his voice saying those words.

"I'm gonna leave him Finn," she blurts out, eyes growing wide at her own unexpected statement. She feels him tense at the mention of Jake again, her own heart twisting painfully as she thinks of what those words actually mean, but she can't take them back. She doesn't want to break Jake's heart but she doesn't want to continue living this way. She wants to be with Finn all the time, wants to fall asleep with him and wake up beside him and all the things that fill the spaces in between.

"I can't ask you to do that Rachel," he says softly, the pain evident in his eyes crushing her chest in as she's reminded of the fact that Jake isn't the only man she's hurting right now.

"You're not asking me to," she assures him. "I _want to_. I just...I just need to figure out how. I just need time to figure things out."

"I'm not going anywhere," he promises, bringing her hand up to his mouth to kiss her soft skin once gently.

"I don't deserve you," she shakes her head softly, staring into his clear, whiskey eyes as he positions himself above her again.

"You deserve everything baby," he whispers, dropping down to kiss her forehead, then her cheek and then finally her mouth. "And I'm gonna give you that. I swear."

"_I love you_," she moans into his kiss, electricity pulsating through her as she feels him start working her up all over again.

He waits until he's up on his knees, teasing her her soaked entrance and sliding into her to return the sentiment.

"_I love you so much Rachel_."

* * *

><p><strong>Okay so now that it's established that they are, without a doubt, in love, it's time to buckle up for safety!<strong>

**SO MUCH happening next chapter (including a long overdue Finn-Jake-Puck hang out!)**

**Side note: Benny Delgado is absolutely fictional but let's pretend he's a big timer in show business. Also, please don't worry about the fate of Rachel's career choices. I most certainly will not be following the canon path with that one.**

**Right now the way I have this planned out, we should have 11 chapters total. I am aware however, that changing the amount of chapters you promised is now being referred to as "pulling an Allie" (haha! Love you guys!) so of course, this is subject to change. :)**


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